Allowing for Joy

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and another of the long and silent followings of the plucking of harp’s strings.   I am considering seeing if I can convince L to make me a recording of her plucking at a cello’s strings instead.   I haven’t discussed it with her yet, but I am thinking I might enjoy it a great deal.

All in all the meditation and two minute cycle of piriformis stretching I’m doing during it is working out really well.  The ten minutes actually seems to go by a good deal faster in this style of meditation than it did during my guided practices.

Japaridze Tarot - The FoolToday’s draw is the Fool card of the major arcana, which is a card traditionally interpreted as being full of innocence, naivete, and boundless enthusiasm and potential.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the little dog and the unicycle…. and the fact that there is no human on that unicycle.  The dog is up there alone and having a grand time of it.

I feel like these elements in the card speak not just of enthusiasm, but of trust and confidence.   Without a human there to coax the dog forward, the dog must have trust and confidence in itself rather than in a master.

The message here is about trusting yourself.  It’s okay go after the fun and silly things in life that make no sense to anyone else but you.  Have trust in yourself and the confidence to enjoy yourself without worry about what other people (or your inner critic) may think.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: How can I bring more pleasure into my life?

Fanuna's Tarot

Reading Summary:  Indulge in your personal temptations (The Devil) without allowing others snide glances get in your way (imagery on the Three of Cups).  You know what’s right and are strong enough to tread your own path without their input (The Empress).

Take Away:  Right.  So the Three of Cups imagery really triggered a reaction that has very little to do with the traditional card meaning here.  It had to do with the sidelong glance and open mouth of the center figure, which in my perception today feels snide.  Like a gaggle of girls snicering and gabbing rumors back and forth, yeah?

So with that in mind, the message that the cards in this spread is the whole “you do you” thing.  Don’t worry about what others are doing… or how they do things.  Focus instead upon what brings you joy and dance to the beat of your own drum.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I better connect with my inner child?

Tattoo Tarot Ink and IntuitionReading Summary:  Remember that as capable as you are (Magician)?  You don’t have all the answers (Hierophant). Don’t turn away (Four of Cups) from the good stuff (The World).

Take Away:  There is a definite theme going on in my cards today.   Here we have another message about not taking myself so seriously all the time.  A lot of times I bypass opportunities to experience joy as I lean into responsibilities instead, turning my back on things that will bring me pleasure either emotionally or spiritually… or both, because my sense of responsibility turns me toward the use of my skills, knowledge, and abilities to fulfill obligations instead.

If I want to connect more with my inner child, I need to stop ignoring those opportunities.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: What energy is available to me this month?

Bleu Cat Tarot

Reading Summary: Discernment (Six of Cups) and emotional exploration (Ace of Cups) as well as the destructive power to tear things down (Tower) so that something better can be built in its place (not this month).

Take Away:  The energy available to me this month is one of destruction and discernment.  The cards indicate that energy is about making good choices on what I’m tearing down and breaking apart, with the purpose of adding in space for my emotional well being and growth.    It’s about picking and choosing what to keep, and what to release, and not being afraid of breaking the plate if necessary so that it can be replaced with a different one.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I feel right now?

Tarot Mood

Reading Summary: Resistant to change (Four of Pentacles) even though I know it has to happen (Judgement).  Feeling a need for help in getting my shit together (Three of Pentacles) while trying to stay positive (The Star).

Take Away:  I am trying very, very hard to get over my discomfort with change and “go with the flow”, but the fact I’ve struggled the last two weeks with falling into old habits makes it clear there’s definitely an inner struggle here.  I do feel like I need help, but I’m not sure anyone can actually do anything for me on this path at the moment… and I find myself consciously pushing towards hope in order to keep that alive rather than giving in to the shadow that such struggles can cause within me.



Transitioning from June to July

As with my new moon and full moon readings that I do for myself each month and used to put into my physical journal, this is a spread that I do at the end of each month to close out the month and I’ve decided to move it over to here as well.

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards, Faunae Playing Cards Veiled Edition

Individuality Two of Hearts –  At this moment in time you are feeling a bit of a tug of war going on between the solitary glide of individuality and the need to connect and spend more time with Gideon. This constant push and pull taps into and saps a lot of energy and is taking a lot of your focus currently as you try to navigate through the habits so ingrained within you and the changes you manifest in your life.

Dependence Jack of Hearts – You are currently struggling with becoming more at home with the new level of emotions you are experiencing.  Those bad habits of individuality loom in the background, making the integration of these efforts more of a struggle than you were prepared for.

Creativity Two of Clubs – You seek direction and warmth.  You want to incorporate the warmth of emotion into your life more fully and you seek a direction that will allow you to do that while still finding a work/home balance that can allow room for both.

Limitation Three of Spades – Negative thoughts are creating a sense of opposition and negative influence at this time.  There’s a sense of “this isn’t going to work” whispering in the back of your mind and a worry that things will fall apart if you don’t “do as you’re told” by the inner critic that’s whispering in your ear.

Change Nine of Clubs – You are aware of that inner critic’s voice and are not just blindly following it as you have in the past.  You’ve had time to prepare your defenses against those whispers, and although you cannot completely block them out, you are able to take them with a grain of salt.

Sympathy Three of Diamonds – Disappointments from the past have crashed over efforts to make this transition before. You were taught that its important to hone your skills and use them to progress, and not to lollygag on silly things that add no monetary or physical value.  This is why you turn your hobbies into a business.  This constant drive has the ability to crash over and wash away the progress you have made if you let it.

Luck Queen of Spades – When I was thirteen or perhaps fourteen years old, my mother and I refinished an old cedar chest during the summer.  I’d never done woodworking before, and I can’t say that I was particularly good at it.  In fact, I’m pretty sure she’s since refinished that chest again a second time, because…. I really wasn’t all that good at it.  But even without the skills to do a great job, I really enjoyed the task.  I enjoyed the process and the time spent with my mother away from my father’s constant bullshit.   The relevance here to my current situation is that I need to find those things that give me that sense of pleasure and accomplishment…. free of my inner critic’s constant bullshit.

Power Two of Spades – The emotions are coming… and they’re going to fuck with your head. This issue is entirely preventable if you make the choice to do something about it.  Move those books off the bottom shelf or two, reorganize what you’re doing and how you have things set up so that when the water rolls in, it doesn’t damage the mind on the way through.

Responsibility Jack of Diamonds – Finding a piece of peace will take some patience, but it is attainable.  Remember that if you want this, you have to create space for it.  It won’t just happen, just as the waves of the sea will never stop crashing upon the shore.  At the same time?  This type of change is a process that takes time, so allow yourself some room and don’t get impatient.

Message from Spirit World –  Stay steady and calm.  You’ve come a long way but still have a long way yet to go.  It’s okay to take things slow, as long as you also prepare for a few stumbling blocks to crop up along the way.

Message from Mind’s World –  Melding your old way of doing things into the new way you want to do them is not about abandoning one for another.  It’s about finding a balance that allows for both.

Message from Known World –  Stop allowing your father’s voice such free reign in your head.  So much of that inner critic you deal with comes from him and his values and his ideals.  You already know those were flawed, so turn your attention in a different direction that is more to your own values and ideals rather than trying to continue to live up to his.