The Person You Want to Be

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another of the harp strings meditations.  It was very relaxing although I had a little bit of trouble focusing today.  It happens, and I try not to let it be frustrating as I know that it’s a part of meditating, as is bringing yourself back to center after your mind has strayed.  I find it interesting that this meditation seems to work so well for me when usually it is the guided meditations that I gravitate toward.

Herbal Tarot - Goldenseal - JudgementToday’s draw is the Judgement card, which used to be a really difficult card for me.  In fact, for most of my time reading tarot, this was the one card I struggled with connecting to… until last year. I attended a card study that the cards Justice and Judgement were the focus of.  In this study, these cards were presented as Justice being immediate, present- day balance of cause and effect (which was how I viewed it anyway), and that by contrast, the judgement card was about what you’ve done with your life as a whole.  How is your life path going?  Is it going in a way that you like?  Are you happy with the person you’ve become and how you live your life and see the world?

This contrast actually turned my confusion around completely.  By having set the Judgement card beside the Justice card, it made the differences clear to me, and helped me to clearly define my understanding of the Judgement card in a way I’d failed to be able to in the years prior.

What really stands out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is that the Hydrastis canadensis is bearing fruit.  The goldenseal plant reproduces in two different ways.  Beneath the soil, the rhizome reproduces clonally and can do so within the first year.  But the second way that this plant reproduces is through sexual reproduction above ground, which it is unable to accomplish until it’s fourth (or more often fifth) year of life.  That is what the berry in the center of the plant’s leaf here signifies.  It indicates that the plant has finally reached full maturity.

The message here in today’s card is about examining what you want in life and “checking in” with where you’re at to ensure you are staying on that path.  It’s not about money or power or superficial matters… its about maturity of the heart and the soul, and ensuring that you are the type of person that you want to be.

I think this is a good message and a very good reminder, especially as I go through the growth concerning my emotions.  Reassessment gives the opportunity to course correct values and just make sure I stay… true to who I want to be along the way.


#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
: Where am I nearing a crossroads in life?

Dame Darcy's Mermaid Tarot

Reading Summary:   Note the color coordination connecting the Seven of Wands and the Ten of Swords, as well as the Page of Swords and the Queen of Pentacles.   The Seven of Wands freaks out as challenge starts to transition into defeat (Ten of Swords), while the Page looks back as if to say “see baby, it’ll be alright… just look where we’re going” (Queen of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The cards here depict a common cycle for me between the Seven of Wands and the Ten of Swords.  I fill my plate with all that I’m passionate about until I’m at a point of struggle and overwhelm and everything feels like it’s in chaos and I’m fighting for my life.   I struggle.  I fail.   I hit the ground and my guts spill out.   Then I have to pick myself up and start over again as I regain balance and fill my plate again. 

The Page of Swords in these cards slicing through this cycle and showing a second path.  An exit out of the loop.  At the end of that second path sits the Queen of Pentacles, indicating if I make the choice to break this common cycle of mine and stay committed to doing things differently, I can find a much more stable and comfortable place than that of the path I’ve been on.


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I begin working on healing my inner child’s injuries?

Sawyer's Path TarotReading Summary: Work on a better way of fulfilling responsibilities (Knight of Pentacles over Two of Pentacles) so you can have some fun (imagery on the Seven of Wands) and a more fulfilled existence (Judgement).

Key note here is in the Seven of Wands and how, although the character in this card is on the defensive and in the  middle of battle… they look like they’re having a hell of a good time while they’re at it.

Take Away:  It is telling that the responsibilities portion of this reading is a pair of Pentacles, and specifically that the Knight of Pentacles overshadows the juggling in the Two of Pentacles.  It speaks of needing to slow down and the necessity to pace myself rather than pushing so hard and being impatient.  The other two cards are a reminder that while I’m slowing down, I need to make sure I’m having a good time (even when dealing with challenges) and staying on track concerning where I want to go spiritually and the person I want to be… which is someone that’s more than just work work work, incidentally.


#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
: What can I do, or keep in mind, to make today better?

Tarot of Metamorphosis

Reading Summary: Don’t worry so much (Judgement) about where your emotional growth is going (Knight of Cups). Just focus on not backsliding (Six of Swords). For the moment, it’s the present that’s important and fostering your sense of enthusiasm (The Fool).

Take Away:  Lots of guidance today to help me in getting on track with my emotional growth and keeping myself from backsliding into the bad habits of the past. The cards here indicate that it’s important for me to focus on finding those glimmering inner sparks of joy and enthusiasm and fostering them to life, and not to spend so much time worrying about where I’m going… or where I’m coming from.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How are my goals progressing?

The Golden Girls Tarot

Reading Summary: You are at a crossroads where you are going to have to make a conscious and concerted choice (The Lovers) between pushing back against that emotional growth going on (Four of Cups), or embracing it and letting it continue (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  I want the Ace of Cups.  Avoiding the backslide into old habits is difficult, but I want that feeling of dappled sunlight on the soul that this growth has created.  It’s the feeling of lying beneath trees as sunlight breaks in dappled warmth through the leaves above.  It’s warm and peaceful and much different than the cold logic of my normal existence to date.  I’ve come to discover that I like that dappled sunlight… and I want it to continue.

I want that exploration of the emotional growth I’ve been experiencing to continue… even if maybe I haven’t really seemed much like it over the past couple of weeks.


One thought on “The Person You Want to Be

  1. I don’t know what your “check in” tells you, but I am so proud of the person you have become. The man that you have grown into over the past decade. You are smart and intelligent and kind. You are…perfection, my heart.

    Though yes, you do need to stop filling your plate to overflowing. it isn’t necessary to make your load so heavy that you must crash and burn to hit the reset button, hm? It’s time to stop running full speed and take some time to enjoy the walk and the flowers along the path.

    And you will find that dappled sunlight feeling again, my love. You only have to let go of your fears and the other excuses that you tell yourself to keep dodging it, hm? It’s there waiting for you

    Liked by 1 person

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