The Quagmire

Today’s meditation was twelve minutes long, and was an activity in sensory awareness, and using the five senses in a productive way that can reduce moments of anxiety.

The activity starts off with the meditative breathing, and then moves through finding five things you can see.  Then four things you can hear.  Three things you can feel (tactile). Two things you can smell.  Then one thing you can taste.

By focusing on each sense individually, you sort of “distract” your anxiety away from whatever has been triggering to you.  I think that it could also work really well to bring you down into a meditative state at times when having trouble focusing during meditation.  That’s something I’ll explore another day, though.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Eight of Swords, which is a representation of being trapped in your own “mental mess”.

This is very much a clear representation of me of late.  I feel like I am stuck.  Stuck in regards to the business.  Stuck in regards to the clutter in my home at the moment. Stuck in my spiritual development. Stuck in the quagmire of being… stuck.

It’s like the “pause” in the new year where you go into reflection of the past year and consideration of future steps turned into cement that is drying around my feet.

Today’s appearance of the Eight of Swords is an encouragement to seek a path out of the “stuck” that I currently find myself in.  This feeling is one of my own making, and it needs to have a light shined on it so that I can find the steps forward out of the mire rather than standing in it and growing roots there while the cement dries.


#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
: How can I do so without neglecting my own needs? (Build off yesterday’s cards.)

Bohemian Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Be selective in who I offer my help to (King of Earth), and make sure they are appreciative (Six of Fire) of what I have to offer (The Shaman).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s read was about friends that come to me for an open ear or a bit of guidance.  Today’s reminds me that I can’t be that for everyone.  In order to keep from becoming overwhelmed and to allow myself space for my own self care, I need to be selective concerning those I offer that ear and advice to.  And in order to keep from becoming frustrated or resentful, I need to make sure that those I give these gifts to value them rather than disregarding them as either inconsequential or their due.


#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2

Lo Scarabeo TarotReading Summary: The Moon focuses this reading upon my uncertainties in moving into the new year.

The Ace of Wands indicates that the new beginnings planned for my business are feeling a bit overwhelming. The redirection is a new ambition in this area, and that newness can can cause a “sit and stew” situation when there is a lack in push to move forward.  This doesn’t have to deal with just the business, as I had a lot of “newness” to explore in the new year.  Things I put off emotionally, spiritually, as well as concerning my business ambitions.

The Knight of Swords indicates that I’m stuck too much in the mud of the ideas and inspirations, and not pushing forward as much as I need to.  What started out as a rest after the holidays has turned into a stymied situation that I really need to push to get through and out of.  Because there is so much newness in so many areas, the Knight here speaks of finding focus.  You can’t charge forward without having a direction to charge into.

The Knight of Cups makes it clear that without emotional investment, I’m not going to break free of the quagmire that I find myself in. Don’t close my emotions off and go about things as if everything is fine.  Instead, use my emotions as motivation to drive me forward and into action.

The Three of Pentacles reminds me that I am not alone.  Not in any of this.  I have support when I need it, and help whenever I need to ask for it.  I don’t need to do it all by myself and will become better at these different aspects I’m struggling with if I bring in others to help me learn along the way.

Take Away:  Too much new shit on my plate at one time.  If I want to get going with the things I want to change, I need to pick a direction and go instead of stewing in uncertainty and letting that uncertainty mire me deeper and deeper in immobility.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
: Where could others benefit from me contributing more?

Spirit of the Flowers TarotReading Summary:  These cards are a reiteration of the Tarot for Growth answer for today.   They speak of choosing recipients of my time and attention by looking at the long-term benefits (Seven of Pentacles) that my contributions will offer to others to help them through times of overwhelm (Ten of Wands) and emotional development (Knave of Chalices) by using my skills at guidance to help them along their path (The Hierophant).

Take Away:  I feel that this read is about how others benefit more, but also myself.  It speaks of the need to look at a larger picture and a more far-reaching development and result when I choose those that I share my time, advice, and knowledge with.  Those “fly by night” friends and students will only benefit a small amount, and I will only benefit in helping them by a small amount.  If I really want a beneficial relationship with helping others, I need to look for those that are going to carry those lessons forward into their lives.


One thought on “The Quagmire

  1. I think you definitely are getting overwhelmed with all the things you want to do and get started on and are forgetting that at the core of all this restructuring the -goal- is to take some weight off your shoulders by not piling so much on that plate of yours.

    So in order to get out of the mire on all these different levels, you need to prioritize and start with ONE thing, just one to moving forward and then follow it by adding another, and another after that until your ducks are in a row and slowly beginning to move ahead and out of this standstill you’ve found yourself in.

    First though, before you take on any more, you need to deal with your feelings and processes about last night and your mother and then go from there. If you try and push something else forward before completely digesting and processing your emotions over this, you’re going to overwhelm yourself emotionally and send the rest all out of whack.

    I love you, my heart, and I am here to support you. Always. In all that you do. No matter what choices you make. I’m always here and I always love you. Unconditionally. Always.

    Liked by 1 person

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