Uncertainties and Self Worth

Today’s meditation was another of the unguided sort. It was about ten minutes long and focused on breathing exercises while I did some stretching of my back and hips.

Jack-O'-Lantern Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Death card, which is traditionally a representation of slow moving, organic change. This isn’t the sudden, chaotic change of the tower, but rather it is a slow type of change that comes in over time, developing a little at a time.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the owl perched upon the scythe. This indicates to me a factor of knowledge and understanding.

Even slow change can give our confidence a beating sometimes. Just because we know what’s coming and see it developing over time doesn’t always mean we feel ready for it, or capable of riding it out.

Today’s cards are a reminder that sometimes? How we feel about ourselves is not a reflection of how capable we are.  Especially when we’re feeling down on ourselves. It’s a reminder that even during times of change and uncertainty, we are still enough. Even when we are feeling weak and worried… we are still enough. Don’t let anyone or anything make you think otherwise.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonoftheWitchChallenge Prompt
: Do Spread for October 16th

Eldritch Tarot

Domination over the spirit.

The Emperor – You have a great deal more control than you think you do. Over yourself, and over others as well.  Use this ability wisely, and ensure that you are considering what is good not just for yourself, but also for others, when making decisions and taking action.

What can I do to work towards more personal freedom?

Queen of Pentacles – Lean into nurturing yourself more.  Give yourself the care you need instead of ignoring physical pain and pushing it under the rug. The better care you give your physical self, the more freedom you have both from exhaustion and pain, as well as from the limiting physical effects that these cause.

What choices or thoughts are not helping me right now?

Six of Swords – A desire to escape keeps lingering in your mind and it’s just slowing you down from dealing with the crap that needs to be dealt with.  Yes, it would be nice to take more time off.  Yes, it would be amazing to have a holiday season that wasn’t a marathon through hell.  But that’s not feasible, and lingering in those thoughts only allows discontent to flourish.

What feelings or emotions are holding me back?

Four of Cups – This echos up to the thoughts above and the discontent that is being bred by those thoughts.  You want more time. More rest.  You want to be able to discover and enjoy the sensation of being bored, the space of time needed to organize your life and set things in order.  This is not possible at this time of year, and that makes you a bit sulky. These feelings are understandable, but they are holding you back and slowing you down.

What actions could create more personal power?

Nine of Wands – Shore up your boundaries. Accept that this is the way things need to be right now and set your discontent in its place so that it is not standing in your way.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Question for October 16th
What needs….

Jack-O'-Lantern TarotRevealedThe Empress – This card has been coming up a lot lately along with the Queen of Pentacles. Both of them are a reminder that I am not caring for myself as well as I could… or should. They are revealing to me that this is an important issue that needs dealt with.

ConcealedThe Wheel – Everyone deals with the uncertainty that is bred through life’s lack of predictability. This card is a reminder not to allow these uncertainties to hold me back. Tuck them into place and move forward as if they aren’t there.

DiscardedFour of Cups – This was just mentioned earlier in my Lionharts reading that I did.  I need to discard my apathetic discontent over the fact that I can’t have the time and rest and… boredom that I want to experience right now.  It’s just not the time, and focusing on that discontent only creates obstacles and barriers.


Daily Self Kindness

I had a blood sugar incident today that stole away most of my evening. I’m really irritated about this, but I’m trying to not punish myself about it either through my physical actions or my inner narrative.

One thought on “Uncertainties and Self Worth

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s