Uncertainties and Self Worth

Today’s meditation was another of the unguided sort. It was about ten minutes long and focused on breathing exercises while I did some stretching of my back and hips.

Jack-O'-Lantern Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Death card, which is traditionally a representation of slow moving, organic change. This isn’t the sudden, chaotic change of the tower, but rather it is a slow type of change that comes in over time, developing a little at a time.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the owl perched upon the scythe. This indicates to me a factor of knowledge and understanding.

Even slow change can give our confidence a beating sometimes. Just because we know what’s coming and see it developing over time doesn’t always mean we feel ready for it, or capable of riding it out.

Today’s cards are a reminder that sometimes? How we feel about ourselves is not a reflection of how capable we are.  Especially when we’re feeling down on ourselves. It’s a reminder that even during times of change and uncertainty, we are still enough. Even when we are feeling weak and worried… we are still enough. Don’t let anyone or anything make you think otherwise.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonoftheWitchChallenge Prompt
: Do Spread for October 16th

Eldritch Tarot

Domination over the spirit.

The Emperor – You have a great deal more control than you think you do. Over yourself, and over others as well.  Use this ability wisely, and ensure that you are considering what is good not just for yourself, but also for others, when making decisions and taking action.

What can I do to work towards more personal freedom?

Queen of Pentacles – Lean into nurturing yourself more.  Give yourself the care you need instead of ignoring physical pain and pushing it under the rug. The better care you give your physical self, the more freedom you have both from exhaustion and pain, as well as from the limiting physical effects that these cause.

What choices or thoughts are not helping me right now?

Six of Swords – A desire to escape keeps lingering in your mind and it’s just slowing you down from dealing with the crap that needs to be dealt with.  Yes, it would be nice to take more time off.  Yes, it would be amazing to have a holiday season that wasn’t a marathon through hell.  But that’s not feasible, and lingering in those thoughts only allows discontent to flourish.

What feelings or emotions are holding me back?

Four of Cups – This echos up to the thoughts above and the discontent that is being bred by those thoughts.  You want more time. More rest.  You want to be able to discover and enjoy the sensation of being bored, the space of time needed to organize your life and set things in order.  This is not possible at this time of year, and that makes you a bit sulky. These feelings are understandable, but they are holding you back and slowing you down.

What actions could create more personal power?

Nine of Wands – Shore up your boundaries. Accept that this is the way things need to be right now and set your discontent in its place so that it is not standing in your way.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Question for October 16th
What needs….

Jack-O'-Lantern TarotRevealedThe Empress – This card has been coming up a lot lately along with the Queen of Pentacles. Both of them are a reminder that I am not caring for myself as well as I could… or should. They are revealing to me that this is an important issue that needs dealt with.

ConcealedThe Wheel – Everyone deals with the uncertainty that is bred through life’s lack of predictability. This card is a reminder not to allow these uncertainties to hold me back. Tuck them into place and move forward as if they aren’t there.

DiscardedFour of Cups – This was just mentioned earlier in my Lionharts reading that I did.  I need to discard my apathetic discontent over the fact that I can’t have the time and rest and… boredom that I want to experience right now.  It’s just not the time, and focusing on that discontent only creates obstacles and barriers.


Daily Self Kindness

I had a blood sugar incident today that stole away most of my evening. I’m really irritated about this, but I’m trying to not punish myself about it either through my physical actions or my inner narrative.

Cartomancy Reading – Daily Habits

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
I bet you thought I forgot about today! Well, I kind of did and that’s because I didn’t have my routine in check today. So, let’s ponder on that.”

Bicycle's Vintage Vampires Playing CardsWhat do I think about my daily habits?

Seven of Spades – A necessary evil. A time sucker that has to be included in my day.

How do I feel about my daily habits?

Jack of Diamonds – They are a work in progress. You are in the process of learning how to be kinder to yourself, and through that kindness, treat yourself better. It takes time, and that is frustrating.

Are my daily habits something I should look at more deeply?

Seven of Diamonds atop King of Hearts – Yes, with Gideon’s help present along the way to give you a different, kinder perspective. Take your time with it. This is a life journey, not a quick fix.

Where will my daily habits carry me forward into the future?

Ten of Clubs – As you move forward into the future, make sure that you are not losing focus on the most important aspect of this journey in kindness. That includes doing what is needed to mitigate burnout, and keep it under control.

Will these habits be a positive influence on my future?

Six of Clubs atop Four of Spades – Absolutely. By feeling more rested and allowing yourself recovery time, you open yourself up to greater success with less setbacks along the way.

How could I rearrange my habits, if I need to?

Two of Clubs – Plan ahead. Make sure you have times of rest set into your schedule. Planning these times into your schedule ahead of time will ensure you get what you need when you need it.

Should I rearrange my habits?

Eight of Diamonds – Only if you are going to improve upon what you are learning about being kind to yourself. No backsliding.

If yes, is there anything that could help me with that?

Five of Spades – Don’t fight so hard against these changes that are ultimately only going to benefit you.

Take Away: I did not set out with a specific daily habit in mind with this reading, but it became clear rather quickly that this reading is about getting the rest and restoration time I need. Ie: sleep, meditation, and time off.

Bonus: “You are always on the path to the best version of yourself no matter what the day may bring. You just keep getting better and I’m proud of you. 🖤