To-and-Fro… Balance to Come

Today’s meditation was sort of skipped?  I did some breathing exercises in the car as a passenger, but I didn’t do a full fledged meditation.

Skeleternity Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of the duality of balancing health and home with one’s ambitions and work responsibilities, struggling with multiple priorities, time management, and the ability to adapt as needed to juggle one’s commitments.

I have been working at creating a more healthy balance between my personal care and my work life over the past couple of years. It’s been slow going, and I still struggle with it.  It seems the closer I get to a healthy balance, the more I struggle not to fall in the other direction now… that is to say, I no longer feel the same motivation to work that I once did.

And yet, I still find ways to neglect myself and self sabotage.

Today’s cards are a reminder that self care and finding that balance is not a waste of time. It’s needed.  And things -will- balance out eventually. Imbalance can never last forever, so… even though I’ve swung perhaps a bit too far in the opposite side of the coin?  Sooner or later I’ll find that balance that allows for both enthusiasm and motivation… as well as self care and recuperation.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for October 21st and 22nd

Bird ov Prey Oracle and Flux Arcana TarotWhat echos from the past are trying to resurface for me right now?
Indestructible/Enlightenment and Page of Pentacles

This is a reminder of the importance of my meds and the gratitude of finding meds that work.

Once, a long time ago, I was put on a med called Paxil, which turned me into a danger to myself and others. I truly felt indestructible and did a lot of risk-taking behavior. Only once I stopped taking this medication did I come to discover the mess I’d made, and the potential for it to have been much, much worse.

This was a learning experience for me about respect for my body, the things I put into it, and how I might react to those things. I’ve since found a medication that works well for me, but that lesson sticks with me all the same.

How can I safely explore echos from the past that are trying to get my attention?
Miss You Already and Judgement

Take the lessons learned and carry them forward so that you do not repeat them.


PatriciaWestonWitch’s #wwpwHalloweenLenormand Prompt
Questions for October 21st thru 23rd

D'oracle du Clothilde and Skeleternity TarotWhere in my life do I need to ghost out?

Travail and King of Cups – Gid is on vacation, which allows you more time to do holiday prep. Don’t waste this time.

What area of my life am I at a crossroads?

Surprise and Ten of Pentacles – You are feeling out of sorts financially at the moment. Take a deep breath and a beat to let that jolt of “well fuck” ease off, and reflect on what is most important.

Who is the werewolf in my life?

Passion and Ten of Cups – The werewolf in my life (otherwise known as the catalyst for change) is Gideon. He has helped make me into the man that I am today, and I will continue to grow and change through his influence.


Daily Self Kindness

Still playing catch up, but I know for a fact that I took a nap after I got home from doing my errands.

Don’t Be Discouraged

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was the sixth installment of the Foundations III series on the Balance app. This meditation dealt with the labeling of thoughts and sensations, and introduced special awareness through sound and (towards the end) sight.

Pazzol Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of  an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, home, health, and the physical world.  This often translates into an active pursuit of these particular themes, alibi… usually a slow moving pursuit, as the Pentacles suit as a whole has a tendency to take its time.

Today is an orders day, and I am…. so not interested.  I say that a lot recently, don’t I?  But it’s true.  I’m not experiencing the joy I once did in my work and that in turn means that I’m not getting the same amount of enthusiasm.   I keep trying to get back in touch with that enthusiasm, but… It’s not happening.  At least not quickly.

These cards are a reminder to keep trying. Keep going.  Things might be going slow and they may not feel like they’re moving fast enough, but they -are- moving.  Just keep going… it’ll be fine.   This message is about keeping the faith, and keeping your eye on the prize, no matter how discouraged you might feel in the moment.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonoftheWitchChallenge Prompt
Questions for October 21st and 22nd

Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle and Ritual Abuse TarotFor each full cycle, each moon to come, what am I to conjure before the end of ’21?
Transformation and Page of Swords

Focus on improving your communication with those around you.  It’s not always easy to get yourself across the way you want.  Remember this struggle is something we all deal with, and you can foster better communication by making sure that you are being open about your struggles instead of trying to pretend you’re not struggling and everything’s fine… which comes off a bit heartless when you are fumbling the message.

I embrace all that makes me, and all that I do, what path am I crafting for ’22?
Creativity and Four of Pentacles

As I move towards 2022, you are building a path that includes a deeper sense of rooted security, comfort, and dependency upon your creative spark, and a greater appreciation for what that spark does for you.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for October 21st

Patrick Valenza's Abandoned Oracle and the Pazzol TarotYouDismemberment and Ten of Wands – Feeling discombobulated and overwhelmed. The thing is? This isn’t lighting a fire under my ass the way that it would normally.  Instead I seem to be feeling a bit like I’m spinning my wheels and not going anywhere.

Your Current PathThe Crematorium and Five of Cups – Nothing is going to be good enough this holiday season, and you are going to be burning the candle at both ends. This is not unusual for the six weeks or so of the holiday rush, and is a path you have tread upon again and again.

Potential OutcomeThe Madwoman and The Lovers – The outcome of this path is a time of forced recuperation as your body and mind revolt from the abuse, and it begins to feel like the world is falling apart around you when really it is you falling apart. As you arrive at the end of the holiday rush, you are at the end of your rope and exhausted, struggling with sleep deprivation, and in need of some healthy choices to help bring yourself onto a track of recovery.


Daily Self Kindness

I’m playing catch up on posts at the moment and I have no idea what self kindnesses I might have done on this day. I know that I had my smoothie, though, and that I added a large pinch of spring mix added in.

Don’t Forget

Today’s meditation was skipped.  I suppose I could have done it while lying on an ice pack, but I ended up falling asleep instead.

Dead of the Night Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of your roots within the past, nostalgia, reflecting on past events, and childhood experiences.

Those that have grown up in an environment of abuse often struggle with feeling that they matter in life.  This is not the only experiences that can give root to these feelings, though.  Sometimes it can be hard to look back on our pasts and see anything of value, no matter what lies back there behind us.

The truth is though?  We would not be the people we are today without the past there to teach us, guide us, and… sometimes show us just exactly what not to become.

Today’s cards are a reminder that the past holds the building blocks that create who we are in the present, and who we will become in the future.  What we do and the lives we touch change the lives of others, just as they change ours.  To someone?  You matter.  You always matter.  Just existing makes a difference in someone’s life.  Don’t forget that.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonoftheWitchChallenge Prompt
Questions for October 19th and 20th

Oracle of the Shapeshifters and Mio Im's TarotLike howling wolves that call for the moon, what instinct am I, to follow soon?
The Faery Ring, The Magician atop Three of Hearts

You excel at all that you put your mind to and adapt quickly to new circumstances. These qualities are a part of you that you will be given the opportunity to share with others soon. As you advance and learn new tools and skills to put under your hat, take these others with you.

Triple Goddess of moon and tides, share your wisdom, for my path, tonight…
Little Brother Little Sister, Seven of Cups atop Four of Hearts

Staying caged (Ie: staying home) is an emotional choice, and your sister needs your help right now.

So, I guess I’m going to my sister’s full moon circle tonight. I’m always welcome to join in her coven’s activities, but being solitary, I’m not a big fan of group ritual and practices. I’ll be making an exception tonight, though.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Is there an afterlife?

Dead of the Night TarotReading Summary: Depending on how you die (The Tower), and what you’ve got going on on the inside (Strength), there are some that stick around to try and deal with unfinished business (Skeleton in the Two of Wands is facing the Past).

Take Away: So… yes.  Obviously if some of us are sticking around to deal with unfinished business, there is an afterlife. I would imagine that it’s not what is generally imagined it to be, and that there are a variety of different scenarios (the one mentioned above being merely one of them), but the answer makes it clear that there is indeed the possibility of life after corporeal death.


Daily Self Kindness

I’ve been using an ice pack on my back off and on all day.  It’s feeling both painful, but also quite unstable today.

Look Up

Today’s meditation was skipped in deference for sleep today.

Spooky Cats Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Four of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of apathy and disinterest, dejection and reflection, as well as times of quiet meditation. The key here is in the hand that offers the fourth cup, and the fact that the figure either does not see the offer, or is rejecting it in an apathetic response.

When struggling, sometimes it can be hard to see beyond the misery of the moment.  I’ve dealt with this a lot in life when dealing with my major depressive episodes and times of recovery after injury.  It just… you feel stuck. Stuck, and alone, and miserable.  It can be hard to realize that the misery is only temporary… hard to believe in those times that there is an end in sight and things will get better.

It can be equally hard to see that there are people out there that want to help… are trying to help.

The reminder in today’s cards is to make sure that you look up and see what’s being offered during these times, welcome the help that people are offering instead of closing yourself off and assuming you are all alone. It’s not easy, but it helps those times be a little less painful, and eases the amount of misery experienced while waiting for things to feel better.


PatriciaWestonWitch’s #wwpwHalloweenLenormand Prompt
Questions for October 18th thru 20th

Flowers From the Dead Oracle and Sugar Skull TarotWhat area of my life is full of tumbleweed?
Hawk and Death

Your ability to see changes in your life clearly is currently compromised. This is natural, and normal, but it makes going through these changes more difficult as there is an element of blindness involved, and this uncertainty can create hesitation.

What do I need to resurrect?
Chicken, The Lovers atop Wheel of Fortune Rx

Ensure you are approaching troubled times with bravery and the mindset of making healthy choices. You can’t always just trust everything is going to come out okay.  You have to actively make choices that will turn things the way you want them to go. This focus on making healthy choices will carry you through, instead of enabling you to self-sabotage and sink.

What needs to grow in my life?
Fox and Queen of Wands

It’s important to continue focusing on finding harmony between your indomitable drive and your self care. You can balance both and give up neither, but finding that balance is going to take time. More time, that is.


The #EmbraceYourAlterEgo2021 Challenge for Sacred Grounds Tarot Club
Questions for October 18th, and 20th thru 22nd

Spooky Cats TarotWhat fears do I have?

Page of Brooms atop Seven of Cups – You fear that you’ll miss out on what could be a fucking spectacular opportunity due to hesitation. There is a lot of holding back lately, and a lot of letting opportunities go in the hopes that they will come back to you later. This has caused the fear of “losing out” to rise and grow recently.

What actions am I afraid to take?

The Empress – You worry that all this focus on self care is going to make you soft and weak. Stamina has always been a corner stone of your ambition and drive, and you’re afraid to be too nice to yourself or too kind to yourself and, in the process, end up “losing your edge”.

Why do these actions scare me?

King of Pumpkins – The idea of losing your edge through self-kindness and self-nurturing scares you because you are so hyper focused on stability and security. In losing your edge, there is a risk of losing that stability and security that you’ve gained.

How can this help me and my Alter Ego merge?

Queen of Cups atop Four of Cups – By allowing me to see that we are there to help each other. That driven alter ego that these readings over the month so far have been about, and that side of myself that wants to treat myself better and be healthier… they are two sides of the same coin. They are both me, and they can help each other and support each other (instead of conflicting with each other) if given the chance.


Daily Self Kindness

Bless the angel of midday naps.  The fire safety people were here at the building to do their inspections today, and the gas people were also here to do their job checking the lines and getting pilot lights lit in fireplaces. That shit started even before I made it home from the farm and the constant alarms going off and people in and out was exhausting.  So, after it was over I took the most wonderful nap ever.

The Moral Compass

Today’s meditation was skipped, as today was orders day and there was just too much to get done.

Таро Темных Откровений and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Judgement card, which is traditionally a representation of looking back on one’s history and reflecting upon if they are happy with all that they have done and become in life, as well as getting in touch with one’s true calling, and themes to do with forgiveness and absolution.

The combination of today’s Thera-Pets card combined with the Judgement card is about looking at your life, your progress… and your setbacks, and accepting that we can’t go full speed ahead at every turn and every moment.

It’s okay to struggle sometimes.  It’s okay to go slow sometimes.

As long as you are continuing on the path to becoming the person that you -want- to be, and making decisions that you will look back on at the end of your life with pride in the person you were and have become instead of with regret or disgust?  Then you’re still doing absolutely spectacular.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
Questions for October 18th and 19th

Arcana Mortis TarotEnergy I’m EmittingSamhain and Ace of Wands – The energy that you are emitting at this time is a go get’em focus on the holiday rush to come with a deadline in mind landing squarely on Samhain. This energy is about drive and focus, and moving forward toward your goals.

What that Energy is AttractingCircle of Salt, Three of Swords Rx atop The Magician – Confidence and competence to keep depression at bay as long as needed to get through the busy months ahead. The “flex” of energy attracts more of the same, and as long as you ride this energy you will continue to be protected from depression issues during the months ahead.

What To Do About ItDemonic Presence and The Lovers – You need to make sure that you are making healthy choices, and not just falling into the temptation of bad habits and unhealthy options.

What do I need to focus on for self-care for this full moon?

Remember that your feelings of tiredness and the desire for isolation are emotion based (Four of Cups) and temporary (Phases). They are not based in reality, but they can have real-time consequences in how they pull you away from your work (Eight of Pentacles) and away from getting the things done that you need to do.


PatriciaWestonWitch’s #wwpwHalloweenLenormand Prompt
Question for October 17th
: What message do my animal spirit guides have for me today?

Таро Темных ОткровенийReading Summary:  Okay, so I have an issue with the illustration in the King of Cups today. He looks like some pansy ass fop of a guy about to get his toes pinched off by a couple of lobsters. I just had to get that out.

The theme here has to do with the Eight of Pentacles at the center. These cards indicate emotional indulgences (King of Cups) and the addictions that are spurred by emotions (The Devil) are both distractions to the work that you need to get done at this time (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: This is very true, but it’s also not necessarily a bad thing. At least, not as long as I don’t over indulge.  That is where things start to go awry and issues being to arise.


Daily Self Kindness

I can’t think of anything I did that was a kindness to myself other than making sure I had L’s help in packaging before bed so that it cut the time it took down by half.

Expectations and Progress

Today’s meditation was another of the unguided variety with breathing exercises, and lasted just under ten minutes.

Gothmancy Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Knight of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of an projective beta energy in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, home, manifestations, and the physical world. The Knight of Pentacles is a “go get’em” energy, but one that moves at a slower pace and marches to the beat of its own drum.

The Thera-Pets card for today says “you are doing enough” and boy it sure doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I’m slacking off and not getting any prep done at all. I know that’s not true, but I also know I don’t feel like I’m getting the things done that I want to before the holiday rush starts. There’s been a lot of obstacles in my path this week that I’ve been forcing me to take things slower than I would like.

Today’s cards are a reminder that any progress is still progress, even if it comes slower than you’re used to.


Mr Lionharts’ #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonoftheWitchChallenge Prompt
Questions for October 17th and 18th

Madhouse TarotThe wheel it spins, around, again, what have I started (Judgement), how will it end (Justice atop Knight of Swords)?

Looking at life through the lens of who you want to become and what you want to accomplish in this lifetime, and what you’re going to feel about what you see when you look back on at the end of your time, is a journey that you have chosen and continue to focus on.

The cards here indicate that it is only through following this path from one day to the next that you will reach the end of your journey, both happy with where you have come to be as well as what you’ve done along the way. No amount of strategy or manipulation will settle the scales into balance… only staying focused on the goal, and doing the work one day at a time will do that.

And as the serpent bites its tail, what will recur (Six of Swords), what must I prevail (Nine of Cups)?

Again and again throughout life, you are going to need to make decisions to leave behind things that are no longer working for you or are unhealthy for you, and move on to something better and healthier.

These choices to leave behind those things that are harming you or are unhealthy for you will be constantly changing. With each stage of life, you will need to make these decisions again and again in order to stay on top of what is going to work for you and makes you happy.

The goal in this is not just about health, but also about happiness. For it is only through having a positive outlook and being happy in the present that you will find true contentment.


#DiscordTarotholicsOct2021 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I help myself stay positive during this period of preparation before the holiday rush?

Gothmancy TarotReading Summary: There is a color connection in the skin color between the Five of Wands and the Ace of Swords. This indicates that the communication between others might be a bit of a struggle right now, and is a part of what’s bringing you down.

The color connection in the reds and background between the King of Swords and the Ace of Swords then speaks to strategy being applied to new ideas and communication with others. By having a strategy in these areas, you can help pave the road to smoother communication.

Take Away: Speak up and be clear about what you want to happen during this time and what you want to accomplish. In doing so you are able to communicate with others what they can do to help you.

This communication well then bring people over to your side, instead of there being a constant feeling of conflict going on between what you want to accomplish and what they’re doing to try and help you.


Daily Self Kindness

I took the day off from the farm today. I just… needed some peace and quiet and a bit more sleep. Since everything is caught up and well staffed at the moment, it was a good time to take the day.