Hesitation and Procrastination

Today’s meditation was another valiant effort without much success on the meditation front.  I laid down twice to try and meditate and both times phone calls forced me to break off after only a minute or two in.  The first time I got pulled in to work.  The second time was my mother.

Floriography Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptations, addictions, and the quandary that we get ourselves in when we go “too deep” into something we (at least initially in some way) enjoy.

Are you holding back because something you want in life is unhealthy for you? Or are you holding back because you’re scared? When we hesitate… what is the motivation behind that restraint?

If there’s something that you want, and you evaluate whether it’s healthy for you or not, and whether or not you can handle the “addiction factor”. If you evaluate all these things and you find that it’s safe to move forward anyway, even if it’s unconventional or something just for you… Then why not? Why are you hesitant?

We often tell ourselves that the things we want have to wait because it’s “not the right time”. We put off happiness enjoy in order to focus on goals and responsibilities. But as the Flower Fortune card says… “If not now, then when?”

The message in today’s cards is about looking before you leap… and then leaping once you’ve looked.  It’s time to examine why you’re hesitating.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 21st & 22nd

Blood Moon TarotWhat role does love play in my life?
The Empress and The Hermit

Love is nurturing and supportive, even in times when you’re sinking into solitude. It’s always there. Even when you’re not reaching out for it.  It’s unconditional and patient.

These things make love a reassurance, and a refuge whether you are with those people that love you or not.

How can I better enhance love in my life?
The Fool, Three of Honey, Strength

Be more “free” and unrestrained with those closest to you with whom life is a collaboration. Together you are stronger than apart.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: In what ways are you unhappy with who you are now?

Floriography TarotReading Summary: I want to be more comfortable with my emotions (Queen of Cups), and I want to feel like I’m not sacrificing control in that process (Emperor). As it is now, I am feeling uninspired and out of control in my creative endeavors, restless and ready to restructure (Ace of Wands atop The Tower).

Take Away: As my COTD indicated for today, I am hesitating in taking the leaps needed to get things on track both with my inspiration and my creativity.  I just… feel like I’m not rested enough?  Even coming out of having had a week off, I still feel like I’m wrung out and don’t have the energy to do the work involved right now.

On top of that, is the fact that in my emotional growth I’m in a place where emotions still feel completely unstable and unpredictable. I’m not someone that enjoys instability and so it’s a struggle for me to allow for that fluidity in something that can have such a strong influence on my perceptions and my life.


Daily Self Kindness

Orange Ceamcicle ice cream and Cheetos Puffs.  Need I say more?

One thought on “Hesitation and Procrastination

  1. I love your adorable “orange” snacks, baby. It’s so cute. You are so fucking cute.

    Whatever is making you hesitate, you’ll figure it out and figure out how to get where you are going, hm? I have absolute faith in you.

    And yeah, baby, you are loved unconditionally, always..anytime, anywhere…always.

    You’re so important

    And as a PS…thank you again for my gifts. They are so amazing and thoughtful. I love them all. And I love you.

    Happy Anniversary, my beautiful boy.

    Liked by 1 person

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