Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

IMG_1551Today’s meditation was just under thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with the Calm app combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretching. I’ve done a lot of skipping in meditation lately, and my stretches are definitely telling me that this is a bad idea. I’ve been having a bit more trouble with my lower back as well over the past week. It’s time to get back into things, either that or I’m going to have to increase my chiropractor visits.  I’d rather not sink the money into that option.

The focus of today’s meditation was about  how sometimes the first step in any journey can be the hardest. The thing is, though, the first step doesn’t have to be a big one. None of the steps on that journey need to be big ones. As long as you’re at least shuffling along a few inches at a time? You’re still making progress.  It might not feel like it, but it’s still progress.

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring Edition and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of stability and security obtained through hard work and shared with others.  These themes often center around financial success, good health, stability and security at home, and other material themes being shared with those closest to you such as family and friends.

In this manner, the well dressed bird in the imagery of today’s card shares his wealth and good fortune with the other birds  in his care, building them a luxurious house and making sure that they are comfortable and well cared for.

Combined with the Flower Fortunes card for today, which states that “Before trying to please others, firstly think of what makes you happy”, there is a message here today not just about tending to one’s own happiness, but also your own needs and self care.

No matter how much you want to care for others, it is absolutely imperative that you care for yourself first. You cannot expect your body, your finances, or your stamina to old out if you are not giving it what it needs.  That includes down time, good food, happiness, and all the other things that you need to care for yourself.   Just as you need to make money before you can share the wealth, you have to make sure you have found your  happiness before you can make others happy.  Doing it the other way around doesn’t make sense and is extremely unhealthy.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
for May 17th & 18th

The Alchemist's GardenWhat role does pride play in my life?

Eight of Swords (Monkshood) – If it is not held in check by a heavy dose of self-awareness and objectivity, pride can blind you to the truth.

Five of Cups (Taique) – It can drag us down when we take pride in things that aren’t meant for us. We then miss those things that are.

Seven of Wands (Living Rock) – Pride lights fire beneath our convictions, principles, and values, giving us the strength to stand fast against opposition that tries to rise up against what we feel is right.

How can I better enhance the positive aspects of pride?

The Emperor (San Pedro) – When you feel that pride is cutting you off from seeing the whole picture, take ownership of that feeling and the fact that the blockage is coming from within you instead of from an external source. Explore and seek to understand what’s going on rather than letting it pass by unnoticed.

Nine of Pentacles (Sassafras) – When feeling a sense of entitlement and discontent, pause to take a look around at what you really have, how far you’ve come, how much you’ve truly accomplished, and how good you really have it

Four of Pentacles (Lions Mane) – In times when you stand up for what you believe in, make sure that you have steady footing and that you are not cutting down others in the process of lifting yourself up.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: In what area are you not practicing enough self-care?

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring EditionReading Summary: You’re not giving yourself enough benefit of the doubt (Strength) where finding balance in your life is concerned (Two of Coins). Moderation is not a punishment, but a path to better things (Temperance), so lift yourself up with optimism and hope, and start looking at this effort in a more positive light (The Star).

Take Away: The message here is about moderation and optimism.  Here is where the lack resides and where I need to work on fostering something more hopeful, positive, and lighthearted.

My naturally pessimistic tendencies have started to come out a bit more strongly of late, and they need to be brought back in hand (along with that negative inner narrative in my head).  It’s important to remember to celebrate your accomplishments along the way, even the tiny ones.  Each step forward is progress, no matter how small that step might be.


Daily Self Kindness

I had myself a nice epsom salt and apple cider soak in the tub today, and even managed to not fall asleep in the process!

Something Worth Fighting For

Today’s meditation was skipped because I was a lazy fuck and totally overslept today.  In fact when the girls got up I moved from the couch to the bed and went back to sleep.

Forest Creatures Tarot v2 and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of discontent and casting focus upon one’s disappointments and bad experiences instead of upon the good in life and what’s going right.

Like most Five of Cups, the figure in this card looks completely unimpressed with the boon around them.  Even with it right in front of her, the bounty displeases.  She is focused elsewhere and rejects that which is to her good fortune out of displeasure she feels towards something else.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which says that “If you have something worth fighting for, then fight for it”, the message that I see in today’s cards is about not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Maybe the grass looks greener elsewhere, but don’t lose your own lawn by being so distracted by the one on the other side of the fence that you don’t tend (and enjoy) what you already have.  It’s okay to work for something more or something better… but don’t forsake what’s good in the now in order to do it.


LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Questions for May 16th through 18th

Darlings TarotAre my current choices in alignment with my inner voice?
Four of Pentacles and Knight of Pentacles

Yes, with a big dose of stability added in due to my need for that, and a big dose of taking it slow added in for self care.  You may be moving at a slower pace than you would like, but the choices you make are aligned with the guidance your inner voice is providing.

Where am I asked to listen {more} to my inner voice?
Eight of Pentacles and King of Wands

When it comes to my business. Not just in the creation and manifestation aspect, but also in the direction that I want to take the business in and how I go about getting there. Keep in mind that it’s not enough to just listen, there must also be action in order for what is said to be applied.

What can listening {more} to my inner voice establish {for me}?
Ace of Cups and King of Swords

It will lead to a more comfortable and stable strategy of introducing my emotions into the process. This is something that I have been trying to do for a while now, as somewhere along the way I feel like all the cycles of burnout and recovery caused me to lose track of my joy in the process.  A strategy that preserves stability and self care while also allowing me to begin finding joy in the process of my work again is what is being offered here… and sounds amazing.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
Question: Why am I so driven to work even when I know that I need to rest?

Forest Creatures Tarot v2Reading Summary: Fear (Nine of Swords) of losing my sense of security and stability (Four of Coins), as well as fear (Nine of Swords) of losing the feelings of success that satiate me on an emotional level (Nine of Cups).

Take Away: Fear.  The answer here is that the reason I work so hard even when I need to rest is fear.  Fear of losing my stability.  Fear of losing my sense of security.  Fear of losing my contentment and the happiness I’ve found in the now.  Fear of losing my sense of “comfortable”.

These fears drive me on even when it’s not healthy for me to push myself so hard.


Daily Self Kindness

I called an end to play with Gideon tonight when I started feeling tender.  I didn’t want to and was really worried about disappointing by doing so but… it got to the point I was struggling to concentrate and stay in character.

Don’t Put Off Happiness

Today’s meditation was skipped cuz I burrowed into the pillow and got myself some extra sleep instead.  I was feeling a bit more tired than normal today, which I’m blaming on the vaccine although, chances are?  It’s just because my body heard the news that I’m taking a few days off.

Moonroot Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of happiness and joy, success, fun, and taking pleasure in the little things.  In the tarot, the Sun card is the awakening to light’s reassurance after the confusion and uncertainty found in the Moon card.

When combined with the Flower Fortune card that was pulled for today, which says “The land is always on the mind of a flying bird”, the message that I see being conveyed in these cards today is about being  happy with where you are and what you have.

The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It’s important to foster happiness in the now, instead of waiting for it to come later on.   Don’t put off your happiness for when it is more convenient or for when the time “feels right”.  Bask in the happiness you have now, enjoy it, and don’t take it for granted.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 15 & 16

Blood Moon Tarot by Sam GuayWhat role does happiness play in my life?
Four of Honey atop Knight of Skins

For me, happiness is the blend of fiery passion and the security of a stable future. These are the two halves of my life where happiness lives and grows. One lives in comfort, the other in pursuing my passions. Although they appear to be on either ends of a spectrum, for me they are in fact two sides of the same coin.

How can I better enhance happiness in my life?
Queen of Honey atop Nine of Skins

Don’t allow yourself to become distracted or quit along the way.  You need to stay strong, and to stay strong you need to take care of yourself.  You can manifest anything you want in  your life, but only if you are well enough to do so.   Self care isn’t selfish. You can’t help others out of the mud without sure footing first, and you can’t manifest more happiness in your life without ensuring you are well and taking care of yourself.

The Appearance of the Fool as a Bridge

The Fool card is the bridge that connects the role happiness plays in my life with how to better enhance that happiness.  This card is the connection between the “what is” and the “how to get more of this”.  It speaks of stepping forward into life with eagerness, anticipation, and a sense of wonder, and taking each day as it comes with this mentality at the helm.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

Moonroot TarotThe fledgling goddess had much she wanted to share with the world, but was blind to the fact that she was not yet ready. She desired adulation and veneration, and was unwilling to wait and take her time learning all of the lessons still before her yet to be discovered.

Learning takes too long, she decided.  She wanted her full power now, and the admiration of her people.  Especially, perhaps.  And thus so sought her full power, and obtained the love and adulation of her people.

But she was unable to keep her desire for that veneration from controlling her, and as time went on she found that it was not she that controlled the people, but the people that controlled her.  For she could not do without their love and adoration, she had a deep seated need for their attention and veneration.   Having jumped forth untrained, she did not take time to learn the balance needed, and thus she became a slave to her needs, instead of her people becoming a slave to her wishes.


Daily Self Kindness

I deleted eighteen of my Kickstarter pledges today.  Weeded through them all and decided that some of them just weren’t enough of what I wanted to keep the pledges.  A good number of them were playing card decks. I’m going to start vetting these far more stringently than I have previously.  Being disappointed by the Leaves decks (and Cybershock decks before that) made it clear that I need to be more watchful of the playing card campaigns.

Fresh Air

Today’s meditation was skipped because I had to get going a bit earlier than normal this morning in order to get my drive done and get back here in time for my appointment at the hospital.

Rainbow Unicorn Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of going beyond the emotional satiation one finds in the Nine of Cups and “sharing the wealth” of that satiation with those around you. It is, in it’s essence, often seen as the “happy family” card and you will often see a gathering of happy people spending time together beneath the rainbow.

Here we see a single unicorn, but the happiness and emotional satiation is still clearly apparent in the illustration. Combined with the Flower Fortunes card today, which says “Now is the time to try something new”, what I see here is that sometimes stillness can be a good thing… other times? It becomes stagnancy and unhealthy.  That means that stagnancy can turn what is happy into restlessness and discomfort.

By keeping things fresh and seeking out happiness in the now, savoring it, and looking for new ways to foster it in our lives it helps keep stagnancy from taking hold and ruining our happiness.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 13th & 14th

White Numen TarotWhat role do emotions play in my life?
The Devil, Ace of Swords, Page of Wands

Many of your addictions are driven by the need to create space between yourself and your emotions. This means that your emotions often end up driving your addictions.

Finally realizing and acknowledging this tendency provides an opportunity for you to work on finding a better way of doing things so that your interests are supportive instead of used as either  an escape or “self medicating”.

What can I still learn about coping with emotions?
White Numen, The Moon, The Magician

You’ve spent the majority of your past running away from your emotions, but you’re stronger than that. You can’t run from what is with you every moment of every day and as a part of you, no matter how uncertain or uncomfortable they might make you. You have all the tools needed already to cope with your emotions and carry forward into a stronger emotional intelligence, some of those tools just haven’t “woken up” yet.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: What is a better way to confront and/or deal with fear of loss?

Rainbow Unicorn TarotReading Summary:  Make sure that you are nurturing yourself as you work to balance home and work (Queen of Pentacles). Part of doing that is making sure that you allow yourself to be open to new and fun potential (Ace of Wands), and allowing yourself to approach these new opportunities with a sense of adventure and childlike wonder (The Fool) instead of ignoring the opportunities because they are not convenient for you or you feel silly going after them (Five of Cups).

Take Away: A lot of times we shy away from new interests or things that spark childlike enthusiasm within us because we think we will be judged for enjoying them. Either judged by others, or even by our own inner critic. A big part of self care (and thus dealing with your inner fears like fear of loss) is making sure that you are allowing yourself to explore these things that create a sense of enthusiasm and wonder instead of shutting them down and pushing them away.

In relation to my own fear of loss explored yesterday, these cards are also saying that there will always be new stuff to explore, so don’t worry about leaving things behind, because there’s always new good stuff ahead to take their place.


Daily Self Kindness

My appointment at the hospital today was for my first dose of the Covid vaccine. Due to some medical concerns, I had to sit with a heart monitor and blood pressure cuff taking my BP every ten minutes for an entire hour after the vaccine was administered to make sure I didn’t have an adverse reaction.  THAT was my self care for today.