Today’s meditation was just under fourteen minutes long, and was one of the guided meditations in the Calm app which I combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The focus of today’s meditation was an activity that worked on disassociating with the thoughts that go on in the mind during meditation. We looked at both verbal thoughts that run through your mind, as well as visualization thoughts that run through your mind, and how to stay distant from them by labeling them (ie: talk, image, quiet) instead of sinking into them or letting them carry you away.

Today’s draw is The Tower card, which is traditionally a representation of sudden and chaotic change, tearing down the old to make way for new, and destruction.

These kind of changes are often terrifying or painful.  They come out of the blue and are destructive, tearing down well known structures and comfortable norms.   Not only is this part of things scary, but sometimes the concept of rebuilding from the ashes can be just as frightening.

The reminder in the Flower Fortune cards for today is an apt one when paired with The Tower, as it reminds us to “welcome the change coming into your life”.

When change comes, especially when it comes on suddenly, it’s difficult not to flinch in response and shy away from it.  It’s hard not to fight against it.   The thing is?  The change is going to happen whether we want it to or not.  If we fight it?  It just drags things out and makes it last that much longer.  Better to embrace it when it comes, ride it out, and in the end you are better prepared to move on and rebuild things just how you want them.

DECK USED:  DAVID’S TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Questions for June 4 thru 6th

When am I intuitively insecure?
Page of Disks Rx and The Hermit

When life goes stagnant, and I’m left to stew in my own shit, I end up struggling with self confidence. My intuition also has a way of going quiet when I try too hard to take everything on all alone.

How am I using my intuition in my life right now?
Ten of Swords Rx and The Sun atop The Empress Rx

I am using my intuition to avoid the painful endings that I feel that I’m not ready for.  Instead I’m seeking joy, even if it’s unhealthy for me, when what I really need to do is deal with those unpleasant endings.

How am I blocking my intuition?
Seven of Wands

There’s too much fight going on against the changes that needs to take place. Too much looking at that change as an opponent to fight against instead of something healthy that needs to take place. This resistance is creating a block.

How can I resolve this conflict and free my intuition from its bonds?
Seven of Wands and Two of Cups

Stop being so stubborn and allow others that have your best interest at heart to join in your journey and help you.  Stop struggling and fighting so damned hard.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT 2ND EDITION

#DiscordTarotolicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: About loneliness…
Question: What fears do I have surrounding the theme of loneliness? How can alleviate these fears?

Fears: That people will see something in me, that causes them to reject me. Even though I present myself honestly and openly to everyone, for some reason this fear remains. Even while not hiding anything, that fear is always there. That they’ll see some ugly truth in me that will turn them away.

This is the fear that took root during the “pissant” event, and like a pervasive weed, I’ve been unable to dig it out since then.

Alleviation: To alleviate these fears, I need to accept that I’m not for everyone… Just as not everyone is for me. Trying to please everyone is a nightmare, and an anxiety trap that I don’t want to fall into.

DECK USED:  DAVID’S TAROT

TheSphinxRevolution’sGothic Seance Divination Prompt
Today’s Muse: Emily Bronte
(Note: I’m using the writers in this challenge as a muse instead of as a mediumship/seance practice. So the questions are about me instead of about them.)

What kind of figure or personality you will never idolize? Why?

Mirror atop Funny Pants – The class clown. I just don’t have the ability to see myself in that way. I have a sense of humor, but I find myself far too serious for such behavior. Sometimes when I see other people act that way it seems so natural, cool, and easy… but when I look in the mirror at myself and try to imagine behaving that way?  It just looks childish and idiotic.

How does the theme of “abuse” play in your life?

Hero atop Leader – Abuse comes from authority, and only I can save myself from it. It is my issues with authority due to the abuses of my past that have caused me to become so diligent in my adulthood in not just being fair… but being independent.  I have gone to great lengths to create that independence, and demand it being respected by those I work for as well as others in my life.

What aspects of shadow work you need mastery on?

Home – I need to work on mastering allowing myself more freedom in the places that I feel safe. Relaxing and fully letting down my guard isn’t easy when there’s other people around, even though those around such as my sister and Z should allow me to feel completely safe.  It’s just… not the same as full on alone time.  This is something I need to work on.

What guidance Emily Brontë would give you on your spiritual journey.

Unlucky Duck – It’s okay to fuck up once in a while, and you don’t have to be hard on yourself about it when it happens. Learn from the experience and move on to the next.

DECK USED:  INNER COMPASS KIDS CARDS

I had a full evening of Gideon focused time and attention.