Anxiety Is Not Premonition, It’s Just the Scales Teetering As They Settle

Again, no meditation today.  My day pretty much got shot to shit between the car accident this morning and dealing with the insurance company all day, getting appointments set up… and unending repetitive trips to the bathroom.  So yeah.  No meditation today.

Paulina Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s spirituality, interests, and passionate pursuits. Contrary to the greatly misunderstood use of the word “passionate”, this suit is probably not about sex unless you are a sex addict.  Rather, it is about those things that light a fire of inspiration within your soul and the Queen of the suit is the energy that fosters that spark in others and encourages it to grow.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the color scheme, which loudly speaks of autumn to me and autumn speaks to me of experience.  We follow through the spring and summer, gaining experience, weathering sudden storms and blistering heat, the earth gives of itself throughout this period and when fall comes it comes with experience riding its coattails.   The Queen is also experienced, and she uses that experience to help inspire and guide others. 

Combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, these cards are a reminder that not all anxiety is useful. Sometimes anxiety is just anxiety and there’s definitely nothing premonition-associated about it.  For me, right now, this is definitely the case.  As I am emerging from the darkness of depression’s pit and into the light, I’m finding that I’ve been experiencing some intermittent anxiety issues over the past week or two. I’ve come to realize that these bouts of anxiety are not situational but rather, they are a part of my recovery and finding balance once again.


The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
: What card best represents my shadow self at this time?

Waterfall Tarot - Page of PentaclesPage of Pentacles – Finding the way forward sometimes takes a little trial and error and a lot of slow steps and occasional stops along the way.  The importance is in staying focused on where you want to go, and what you need to learn in order to get there.

My shadow self has a lot to learn, but in being acknowledged, it is slowly beginning to “come around” to being a student in life instead of hiding away from it or allowing trauma to keep it suppressed.

There is no wallowing, only a need for encouragement and a guiding light to continue to follow in order to allow that shadow self to rise to the surface and better integrate with reality.  Being acknowledged has done wonders in this area for my shadow self once the realization finally sank in that it wasn’t going to be a temporary project, but something I planned on putting a lot of time and effort into.


#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Does art hurt society in any way?

Paulina TarotReading Summary: Art inspires people, sparking passions for new ideas and directions (Two of Wands), but it can also can make people very defensive (Nine of Wands). At times it can create inspiration for great ideas and new ways of communicating with others (Ace of Swords).

Take Away: The thing about art is that it’s subjective.  To one person a piece may seem inspired and brilliant, relative and breathtaking.  To another person that same piece may seem disturbing, disruptive, insulting, or disgusting. 

It isn’t so much the art that hurts society, but rather individual reactions to how that art is perceived and how people react to it as a result.  So  in a way, it can indeed be hurtful to society if a large enough cross section of society reacts negatively to it…. the real question is whether that’s the art’s fault, or the fault of the individuals reacting to it.


Random Prompt from Pagan Sanctum on Discord
: What is your greatest strength and greatest weakness?

Barbara Walker Tarot

Greatest StrengthQueen of Wands atop The Moon – My ability to use my determination and passionate nature to push through obstacles, fears, and doubts that may arise. This doesn’t mean not entertaining the topic of these fears and doubts, but rather turning them around into something useful.

Greatest WeaknessTwo of Pentacles atop Four of Swords Rx – I am a slave driver when it comes to my own personal responsibilities and endeavors. I don’t often allow myself the rest I need, and in fact struggle with figuring out how to rest when the opportunity is presented, which means I often bypass the opportunity rather than using it to recover.


Daily Self Kindness

My self kindness today is in getting some of tomorrow’s work done today.  I have a lot of things to get done tomorrow like going to get an estimate on the damage of my car, insurance calls, and a visit to the doctor. By getting a little of the work done today that needs to be done tomorrow, it will ease my stress a bit tomorrow as a result.

One thought on “Anxiety Is Not Premonition, It’s Just the Scales Teetering As They Settle

  1. You need a bubble, baby. First the knife through the foot and now the poor car needs a nose job. Hopefully tomorrow’s appointments go smoothly and everything gets taken care of quickly and painlessly.

    Hopefully tomorrow is a better day than today.

    I love you so much. I miss you, my love.

    Anxiety sucks and considering you are climbing your way steadily up out of that pit? It’s perfectly understandable that you will have some rough spots and moments of anxiety. You’re doing fine, love. In fact, you’re doing better than fine.

    Liked by 1 person

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