Don’t Be Impulsive When Torn

Today’s meditation was skipped, but I plan on doing it before bed tonight.  There was a reason but for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell it was.  I think I just couldn’t concentrate with all the noise outside.  They’re starting to work on the property across the back alley from me and I need to work on getting used to the sounds coming from over there… especially since it’s probably going to be an all spring/summer/fall experience.

A Siren's Melody Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with difficult decisions or being torn in two directions at the same time and needing to find a way to choose.   It’s all about being in your head and the choices that are sometimes a struggle to make, especially when overthinking and not looking outward for answers.

I see that little person among the chaos of color and shape, and it reminds me of the chaos in one’s brain when confronted with two choices and unable to untangle one’s moral compass and logic enough to find the right choice to make.

Although this isn’t something that happens to me often, it has happened a few times, and I’ve always hated that tangled mess feeling that clouds the brain during these moments.   What I see in this card is that the person struggling with this issue has become surrounded by it, and the way out is murky at best.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that when in the middle of these moments of indecision, it’s okay to slow down and take your time.  It’s okay not to make that decision right this second.  Instead, take some time, move slowly,  and see if things don’t become clearer if you move a little slower.


LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
: What good am I creating that is not directly visible?

Tarot of the Old Path

Reading Summary: Generosity paid forward in the past (Six of Pentacles atop Six of Cauldrons) has created joy for others (Three of Cauldrons) and helped sustain them in times of melancholy (Four of Cauldrons).

Take Away: This is about my business and the joy that I create for others through the pieces that I make and spread throughout the world.  It brings me a great deal of pleasure to create beautiful jewelry and send it off to those that purchase from  me for those others to enjoy. Even though I very rarely see the results of other’s receiving these items, I take pleasure in knowing that these items are going to someone that will appreciate them, find joy in them, and that in wearing them it lifts them up and makes them feel good.  I put my intentions towards this end into each and every piece I create.


#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
: How can I improve upon where I am physically over the week ahead?

A Siren's Melody TarotReading Summary: Use the creme (Nine of Wands). Ask for advice (The Hierophant). Be kind (Queen of Cups).

Take Away: Okay so this is totally going to be a TMI reading, apparently.  SO… when I was on my last hike, my fucking underwear had some weird thing going on with the seam and I’ve ended up with an abrasion/irritation rash at the crease of my inner thigh.

It’s unpleasant as hell and the advice here is to first and foremost defend against it getting worse.  That’s where the creme comes in, as well as being very picky about my boxer-briefs for the next little while.  The second advice is to seek help, and I already have an appointment with the doc later this week for other stuff (blood tests, et al) and will ask him his advice while I’m there.  The third step here is in kindness.  It’s an indication I need to treat this rash gingerly and not be impatient or neglectful concerning its care.


Daily Self Kindness

I’m staying up late to get a little extra time with Gideon tonight.

Morning Bonus Read – Would I Survive?

Today’s bonus reading is just a  bit of fun and games. The Village Tarot Witch on Instagram tagged me in a challenge to do her spread and it looked like a lot of fun. As she did, I will list my personal pros and cons in this post, but unlike her I will do them at the end, after the cards.

Zombie Apocalypse Tarot SpreadMy Strengths for Surviving
The Stratagem (Emperor)

I am smart and clever and I have no problem putting aside my emotions in order to find the best path forward for myself and others. And when I mean best path?  I mean **the best** path forward. The safest path.  The path that will keep everyone (including myself) alive and well. I have absolutely no issue making decisions for the greater good, even if that means sometimes I’m disliked in the process. In a zombie apocalypse, the only priority more important than the greater good… is my own good.  And I’ll be damned well looking out for that too.

My Weaknesses (What’s going to get me eaten?)
The Suspended (Hanged Man)

In day to day life, my ability to pause and put myself in other’s shoes, see their perspectives as well as my own, and move forward with this knowledge is a huge asset.  In a zombie apocalypse, it would no longer be such a strength, though.  It would cause hesitation and, at times, cause moments of immobility which, in turn, could make me some zombie’s happy meal.

My Chances of Survival
Walker of Wands (Knight of Wands)

I would throw myself into the new life with gusto and make survival my passion and be proactive in finding a new life that would work.  As long as I kept in mind my own mortality and didn’t get too wrapped up in my enthusiasm in this matter, I will do well. There’s a fine line between enthusiastic pursuit of a desired outcome you’re passionate about… and reckless pursuit of an obsession. The problem would lie in making sure I balanced on the right side of that line and didn’t step over into an unhealthy perspective.

Personal (Realistic Based) Opinion On My Chances of Survival

PROS:  I’m clever.  I’m smart.  I know tons of random knowledge that would be helpful.  I’m excellent at wilderness survival and am familiar with traversing the back country. I’m adaptive and resourceful. I doubt I’d run into any emotional/psychological issues at all with taking down the infected.

CONS:   I require a minimum diet of 5000-6000 calories a day just to keep from dropping weight, which translates into a LOT of food, or I start wasting away and passing out.  Considering the extra physical activity that’s sure to come along with the proposed situation?  I’m going to need even more.

Also, my antidepressants play a key role in keeping me from constant suicidal ideation and sometimes uncontrollable suicidal urges.  I’d like to say that I could “muscle through” without them by determination alone, but I know for a fact it doesn’t work that way.

My cons far outweigh my pros, indicating that my chances of survival in this type of scenario, on the whole, are pretty slim.  BUT, that I probably won’t die by being eaten, but rather through starvation, hypoglycemic coma, or by offing myself.