Today’s meditation was just over twenty-two minutes long and was one of the customizable meditations that are offered on the Oak app. I actually set the thing for 18 minutes but ended up lingering for a few minutes more once it was over. I like the mantra meditation, but I’m not all that sure about the customizable ones. I’ll probably mess with them a few more times before I make up my mind on them, though. I do like that you can set up the length how you want, though, which isn’t something you can do with the Calm app that I’m used to using most of the time.
As happens sometimes when the King of Cups comes up, today the King of Cups feels representative to Gideon. He is, hands down, the closest to a physical manifestation that I’ve ever met of what I see in the King of Cups and in personal readings this card often comes out in direct reference to him.
Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see as the message in today’s cards is that I need to stop feeling so guilty for letting him take so much of a lions share of the reigns and responsibility in our relationship. I often feel like he does so much more for me and us than I do, and I believe that even now to this day. He assures me often that this is not the case and yet… it sure still seems like it. Okay, being fully honest I swear he loves me more. Maybe it’s just in how differently we express our love to each other? But I always feel like he loves me more. Sometimes I feel guilt for that too.
The cards today are a reassurance that that’s okay. He’s happy. I’m happy. And really? That’s what matters. Not who’s bearing more weight or who loves who more. It’s about being happy and comfortable and right for each other. We have that stuff down pat. Balance looks different for everyone… this is ours.
DECK USED: WALTER & FITZPATRICK INSPIRED HARMONIOUS TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS
The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Do I seek out or allow toxicity or drama into my life? If so, when and why?
Reading Summary: I try not to (Seven of Wands), and I have the tools to not allow it (The Magician). But it happens when I’m feeling disconnected (The Star Rx) and not getting the nurturing energy that I need as a result (The Empress). And then trounce off like an asshat (The Fool) and try and tear shit down/apart in an effort to fix it all (The Tower).
Take Away: A better way to deal with these issues would be with a bit of forethought. Unfortunately, I’m often at the asshat stage before I realize what’s going on and that I’m acting out. I actually thought the cards were going to call me out on my self destructive tendencies, but the Tower in this reading isn’t about that so much as about restlessness and discontent creating a situation where I stir shit up in a subconscious desire to fix things and get what I’m missing.
DECK USED: GUMMY BEAR TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I replace judgements with more compassion?
Reading Summary: Get in touch with my personal feelings of security and stability (King of Pentacles) and allow myself to not just connect with those feelings but share them with others (Ten of Pentacles). Show gratitude and teach this to others through example (Nine of Pentacles).
Take Away: The message here is to make sure that I am in touch with just how fortunate I am, and just how hard I worked to get there. Show others the benefits of living a life in which you appreciate what you have and share that with others. Through sharing this with others, it becomes a bigger focal point in my own life as well, creating a cycle of ownership and positive reinforcement.
DECK USED: WALTER & FITZPATRICK INSPIRED HARMONIOUS TAROT
*Points to the picture below.* Yum Yum