Relationship Balance

Today’s meditation was just over twenty-two minutes long and was one of the customizable meditations that are offered on the Oak app.  I actually set the thing for 18 minutes but ended up lingering for a few minutes more once it was over.  I like the mantra meditation, but I’m not all that sure about the customizable ones.  I’ll probably mess with them a few more times before I make up my mind on them, though.  I do like that you can set up the length how you want, though, which isn’t something you can do with the Calm app that I’m used to using most of the time.

Walter & Fitzpatrick Inspired Harmonious Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.

As happens sometimes when the King of Cups comes up, today the King of Cups feels representative to Gideon. He is, hands down, the closest to a physical manifestation that I’ve ever met of what I see in the King of Cups and in personal readings this card often comes out in direct reference to him.

Combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see as the message in today’s cards is that I need to stop feeling so guilty for letting him take so much of a lions share of the reigns and responsibility in our relationship.  I often feel like he does so much more for me and us than I do, and I believe that even now to this day.   He assures me often that this is not the case and yet… it sure still seems like it. Okay, being fully honest I swear he loves me more.  Maybe it’s just in how differently we express our love to each other?  But I always feel like he loves me more. Sometimes I feel guilt for that too.

The cards today are a reassurance that that’s okay.  He’s happy.  I’m happy.  And really?  That’s what matters.  Not who’s bearing more weight or who loves who more.  It’s about being happy and comfortable and right for each other.  We have that stuff down pat.  Balance looks different for everyone… this is ours.


The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
: Do I seek out or allow toxicity or drama into my life? If so, when and why?

Gummy Bear Tarot

Reading Summary: I try not to (Seven of Wands), and I have the tools to not allow it (The Magician). But it happens when I’m feeling disconnected (The Star Rx) and not getting the nurturing energy that I need as a result (The Empress). And then trounce off like an asshat (The Fool) and try and tear shit down/apart in an effort to fix it all (The Tower).

Take Away:  A better way to deal with these issues would be with a bit of forethought. Unfortunately, I’m often at the asshat stage before I realize what’s going on and that I’m acting out.   I actually thought the cards were going to call me out on my self destructive tendencies, but the Tower in this reading isn’t about that so much as about restlessness and discontent creating a situation where I stir shit up in a subconscious desire to fix things and get what I’m missing.


#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
: How can I replace judgements with more compassion?

Walter & Fitzpatrick Inspired Harmonious TarotReading Summary:  Get in touch with my personal feelings of security and stability (King of Pentacles) and allow myself to not just connect with those feelings but share them with others (Ten of Pentacles). Show gratitude and teach this to others through example (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away: The message here is to make sure that I am in touch with just how fortunate I am, and just how hard I worked to get there. Show others the benefits of living a life in which you appreciate what you have and share that with others.  Through sharing this with others, it becomes a bigger focal point in my own life as well, creating a cycle of ownership and positive reinforcement.


Daily Self Kindness

*Points to the picture below.*  Yum Yum

Blueberry Muffin and Cup of Sunshine/Chamomile Tea

New Moon in Pisces – March 2021

Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the medicine within, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Pisces New Moon Tarot Reading - Star Tarot

1. What do I need to surrender to the ebb and flow of the waves?

Five of Cups atop Judgement – With my depression came a great deal of self loathing and hatred directed inward. This is not unusual, but it’s time to allow the energy shift of the new moon to fully release these thoughts and feelings and let them flow away.  Sometimes spilled cups are not something to cry over, but a blessing.  Let go of the sickness and look up.

2. In what aspect of my life can I be more fluid?

King of Cups – Gideon is the King of Cups in this reading, as he is from time to time indicated as such for me.  The answer here is that I can be more open with him, more “free flowing” with my feelings.   Sometimes this is easier for me than others, but… I’m trying.

3. How can I trust my intuitive inklings without doubting myself?

Ten of Swords – Don’t fight but allow these ‘inklings’ to wash over me and speak to me. My intuition speaks to me through my body.  Sometimes it is painful and uncomfortable, and it is in that discomfort when my intuition is speaking to me most strongly.  The imagery in this card tells me that I need to make sure I’m paying closer attention to those physical sensations and allowing them to “light a fire under my ass” instead of just acknowledging them.

4. As I drift into dream time, what messages are seeping through the veil from the other side?

Seven of Pentacles atop The Chariot – Slow down and smell the roses.  There’s no need to move fast, you can still control your direction and get where you’re going while moving at a slower and more manageable pace.

5. How can I hold space for my creativity to flourish and thrive?

Ace of Pentacles atop The High Priestess – Allow your intuition to play and have some fun with creation and manifestation. Your best ideas and creations come from this deep inner knowledge that bubbles up from within. Sometimes the brain gets in the way of that process.  Try shutting the brain off and connecting to your gut instead and see where it leads you.

6. Message from the Ancestors.

Nine of Wands Rx atop Nine of Cups – Keep your defenses low and foster feelings of gratitude and positivity.  Look at all you have with an appreciative eye without allowing the need to hoard or defend stir up within you and pollute the water with their poison and conflict.