Unconventional Balance

Today’s meditation was actually a nice long soak in the tub.  I didn’t exactly meditate, but honestly?  The hour and a half spent in the water alone and quiet without any intrusions or interruptions was the closest I’ve gotten to alone time in ages.  So… yeah.  No meditation today, but a hella nice and relaxing time in the bath.  Even once the water got cold I was loathe to get out.

Maruco Animal Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card of the Major Arcana, meaning that it’s a card that deals with the vast scope of the human experience rather than any one specific aspect.   The Justice card is traditionally read as an indication of action resulting in balance, and a theme of cause and effect.

What really stands out to me in this card is the red.  Red like the crimson of blood.  Red like spring tulips and summer poppies.  The second thing that stands out to me in this card are the scales.   The combination of these things brings to mind the phrase “one’s pound of flesh” which is about something one is strictly (or legally) entitled to, but which is ruthless or inhuman to demand.

The message here is about entitlement and the dangers and pitfalls that type of mentality can present.  Everyone has moments when they feel entitled or owed in some way, but sometimes you have to look at if receiving what you think you deserve is really going to balance the scales… or just create yet another and different imbalance in the long run.

When I think of this message, I think of my mother and how much I want her to be a loving, caring, and supportive mother figure for me.  This is obviously not going to happen, and the encouragement here is that that’s okay.  I’ve found other places to receive this energy, support, and encouragement.  The scales are balanced, even if not in a conventional way.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: What aspect of myself that I dislike is most in need of attention at this time?

Spiritsong Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  The giraffe is judging me…. the whale is diving deep… the fox is defensive.   What I see here in these cards is that the giraffe represents my self judgements concerning the whale’s deep dive, which represents my emotional exploration.  The watchful fox is tense and cautious., speaking of my worries on finding a safe and steady resting place.

Take Away:  My worry and self doubt and inner critic.  During this time of emotional delving and expanding into new depths within that experience, I am doing my best to not allow my inner critic or self doubts to screw with me and mess it up.  I don’t want to become defensive or fearful, but to remain open and let this moment of growth reach its potential.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: Butterfly Effect – Is there a cause for every event?

Mermaid TarotReading Summary: These cards display a path….  selfish attainment (Four of Pentacles) creating a lacking elsewhere (Five of Pentacles).  And yet the card at the top is discordant to this theme both in the path.. but also in the coloring and atmosphere of the artwork.

Take Away:  I was expecting that the answer would be yes, but what the cards actually indicate here is that no, not everything is created through cause and effect.   The majority of things are definitely created through the process of cause and effect, but every once in a while something wondrous and amazing slips in to mix things up.


: What do I need to release in my life to better incorporate what I need to learn?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: My tendency to listen with my heart to my inner critic (Queen of Summer) and retreat from others as a result (The Hermit) while my learned defense mechanism builds up inner walls (Seven of Spring).

Take Away:  My inner critic seems to be the topic of a lot of my readings lately, and they’re not wrong.  That inner critic of mine is vicious and venomous, and that venom has a way of creating setbacks to healthy growth and good balance.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I heal from pain and disappointment in my relationship experiences?

Mystical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  Select a direction (Two of Wands) that supports your need for stability (Page of Coins) and tread that path without worry (The Fool) while your inner walls of defense are left to crumble (Seven of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  Another message about my inner critic… or rather, more about my defenses and those walls I build to try and protect myself from emotional pain and disappointment.  The cards here are indicating that those walls are ineffectual, and a better way to deal with these disappointments is to stay focused on my goals concerning the stability that I want in my life and treat those moments of pain and disappointment more like raindrops running off a raincoat.  In other words… good riddance to those that hurt and disappoint me, as they don’t foster those goals that are so important to me anyway.



One thought on “Unconventional Balance

  1. Sometimes I really wish I could shake some sense into your mother. Or even just have a long talk wit her and force her to SEE herself from someone else’s perspective. Her inability to see beyond her own selfish self interest is infuriating, especially when it causes you so much pain. But regardless of her faults, you are loved unconditionally, you are accepted fully and without condition, you are cherished and adored and supported in all things. By me..by your sister, by Z and Jer. You are loved, you are worthy of that love and you are valued for being the wonderful man that you have become my beautiful boy. Don’t ever forget that. You are perfect EXACTLY as you are.

    That inner critic of yours needs to take a damn break and leave you alone. Read the above, hm? And tell those things, remind yourself of them daily. You are loved, you are worthy, you are valued. I love you so much, man. So much.

    Be kind to yourself, my love.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s