Today’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and focused upon finding light in the darkness. This meditation was a bit different than most of the guided meditations that I do, in that instead of focusing on expanding my own energies or directing kindness to myself or others, it was more about the seeking of light from outside the self and finding a way to connect with and bask in its glow.
I wasn’t really comfortable with this, as it involved the acceptance of foreign energies, so the light that I focused on was that of the sun. This was apparently a very good choice, as it actually made the experience really pleasurable.
As I focused on the sun, it felt as if that light enhanced my perceptions of the air around me and the natural smells and sounds that carried to me from the chirping of birds to the whisper of wind through leaves. The scent of fresh spring air was also enhanced and I lingered a good deal of time in that space even after they had closed out the meditation.
Today’s draw is the Four of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as a combination of security and comfort of homecomings as well as themes to do with joyous celebration which can be internal or external, personal, or public.
What really draws my attention in the imagery of this card today is the bunnies at the top of the four posts of the arbor the rabbits celebrate beneath. This speaks to me of… familiarity and finding your “fit”.
Not everyone’s “good thing” is the same. Some people love hot summer days, while others love gray and rainy days best. Some people love cities, while others love the country or the woods.
The bunny heads at the top of these posts are the same as the bunny heads on the rabbits below, and this to them is familiar and perfect and makes them happy.
The message in today’s card is to find what makes you happy. The message in today’s card? Is to find what makes me happy. What things in my life do I need to pay more attention to and spend more time joyously celebrating?
DECK USED: MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT
#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: Where would I most benefit from placing boundaries?
This is about being wise in where I direct my interests and ensuring I am paying attention to my own motivations with unbiased judgement (King of Winter) so that I can spot when I’m turning a blind eye (Eight of Winter) to my needs and ignoring the need for balance between what I give to others and what I take for myself (Balance). If I’m not caring for myself, I can’t care for others (Six of Autumn).
The relationship that is mentioned needing healing in the advice card at the bottom has to do with my relationship with myself. I’ve been doing so well along the path of that healing and finding another way, but I’ve fallen into some of my old bad habits the last few days. The cards here are calling me out on that neglect and reminding me to get my ass back in line.
The boundaries I would most benefit from setting in my life at this time are with myself.
DECK USED: FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE
#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I unlock more positivity in my heart and mind?
Take Away: Be less quick (and less zealous) in judging myself and others. Sometimes I expect too much from others… always I expect too much from myself.
In the former, it creates an experience of always ending up disappointed and experiencing surprises that are… unpleasant at the least and devastating in some circumstances. In the latter, when I put too much expectation and judgement upon myself it does not lift me up but creates pressure and negativity toward myself that is a struggle to overcome.
The encouragement here is to spend more time focusing on what I love… and less time focusing on the ways in which I feel that I (and society) have fallen short.
DECK USED: STAR SPINNER TAROT
Question: How can I reduce the resistance and impact my Ego has on being a good teacher and guide?
Reading Summary: Don’t get too cocky (Blue Jay). Learn from your mistakes (Parrot). Take pride in your accomplishments (Hummingbird).
Not an all bird deck by any stretch, and yet all birds show up in this reading, which speaks to me on the topic of spiritual freedom and moments of enlightenment.
Take Away: What really sticks out to me the most in this reading is the fact that “Don’t get too cocky” and “Take pride in your accomplishments” felt like opposing advice at first to that inner asshat that lives in my brain. They are not opposing advice, but they did feel that way when that snide fucker spoke up to snark at the advice given by the cards today.
You know what that snark rearing up means? It means that the advice from the cards is really good, and it’s something I’m going to need to sit with and process more fully.
DECK USED: ANIMAL WISDOM TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes it difficult for me to say no?
Reading Summary: Without breaking down the plant correspondences, which did not stand out with this deck as strongly today as they usually do….
The first two cards are about my own personal experiences with rejection, and how it feels to have the spark of one’s imagination crushed under the boot of another’s rejection, even when that rejection may come more along the lines of redirection.
The last two cards are about my desires for others. I genuinely want people to be happy and because I know how catastrophic rejection can feel, it can be difficult to deliver that rejection sometimes.
Take Away: Essentially, in the times I go through a struggle with saying no, it is because I am worried about squashing the person’s passion. I hate the idea of smothering someone’s spark… and worry about how long it might take them to rekindle it if I do.
DECK USED: HERBAL TAROT