Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s an orders day, although I really feel like I could have used it. I’ve been a bit out of sorts all day long.
Today’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is about learning a trade, building upon a skill, or developing an expertise. It is about hard work and longevity combining to create a refined skill set, and can also indicate a mindset of perfectionism.
The representation here on the card with its theme based around the Setun, and highlighting both the computer scientist Nikolay Brusentsov as well as the mathematician Sergei Sobolev, is a clear demonstration of the type of expertise that can be gained through hard work and patience.
Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet”, what I see here is about the length of time that it can take to perfect a skill or, for that matter, what the outcome of those skills may be.
The message in these cards pulled for today is that sometimes it can be extremely difficult to be patient, especially with ourselves. In this day and age of immediate gratification, the idea that something we want to accomplish taking ten years, twenty years, thirty years…. it can be almost unimaginable to some. And yet, that is how expertise is developed. Not in the sprint, but in the long cross-country run.
DECK USED: HEXEN 2.0 TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS
TheSphinxRevolution’s Gothic Seance Divination Prompt
Today’s Muse: Bram Stoker
(Note: I’m using the writers in this challenge as a muse instead of as a mediumship/seance practice. So the questions are about me instead of about them.)
How do you see yourself in the spectrum of saint or sinner?
Artist’s Conk (Ganoderma applanatum) – I am neither, and I am both. I have my own personal moral compass and ethics. Sometimes theses align with society’s majority… and sometimes they don’t. This allows me a versatility that many in a more rigid stance don’t really have an opportunity to experience, allowing me to explore and expand, use my imagination, and see what comes up. For it isn’t societal expectations that dictate what I can and cannot do, but that inner compass within myself that tells me what is right and wrong for me.
What kind of negative emotions are you feeding on? How do they frighten you?
Veiled Lady (Phallus Indusiatus) – I have been struggling a bit lately with what I see in the mirror. I know the scars are a badge of strength and survival. I know that the damage is uglier in my mind than it is truth. I thought I had gotten over the whole “loss of a pretty face” aspect, and I think that for the most part I have. But sometimes I look in the mirror and I see the scar on my cheek and on my throat and… I feel ugly. So fucking ugly. I’m not even sure why this bothers me, as I’ve adjusted to the looks and to the changes in interacting with others that losing that beauty wrought. I’m not even sure it’s about how others see the scars… but about how I sometimes see them. I know that they are not some hideous disfigurement, but sometimes they feel that way.
What is laying deep down inside you that you are afraid to unleash?
Giant Puffball (Calvatia gigantea) – It’s funny that “boldness” specifically came up for this question. When I look at myself, I think… I’m pretty bold. I’m open, I’m expressive. I’m “out there” in my preferences. But then I look around at others and see those that seem so free and filled with vigor for life, like splashes of color on the canvas of life. And I think… am I a shadow of who I could be? Am I repressed? Or is it just my nature to be more reserved? There’s no “boldness” bursting at the seams to come out, but sometimes I wonder what adding a bit more to my life would look like.
Guidance that Bram Stoker would offer you on your spiritual journey?
Bleeding Tooth (Hydnellum peckii) atop Fly Agaric (Amanita muscaria) – Pain is gasoline on the fire of life and growth. When you bleed, whether physically or emotionally, you are giving of yourself to the man you are to become. Don’t be shy about allowing your wounds to bleed and breathe, for they are a part of what makes you who you are and who you will grow into both in this life and those that follow.
DECK USED: MYKOLOGIA: FUNGI THEMED ORACLE
Reading Summary: Extracting the good from my past (Six of Chalices), while learning to turn away from the rest (Four of Chalices), learning to move forward and do better than what was done to me a little at a time (Knave of Pentacles).
Take Away: It is extremely hard to turn away from the things that my father and family said to me, and the way that they treated me, during my youth. Although I was very steadfast in what I knew to be right (and right for me), there were lasting repercussions of that long standing string of abuses.
As I work to move forward with my life and make of it something I am happy with and am proud of, the challenge in this endeavor is in leaving behind the bad and taking the good forward with me on my journey.
DECK USED: HEXEN 2.0 TAROT
I just had a chocolate muffin with chocolate chips and chocolate sauce.