Flipping the Table

Today’s meditation was once again not done in the morning, as I was again waiting for the helper.  She did actually show up today, but she was late.  I hate when the phone jerks me out of my meditation and was expecting her earlier, thus… no meditation.   I will do my meditation before bed again tonight, and like last night, probably fall asleep part way through it.

Ostara Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means both cards dropped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Emperor and the Chariot cards.

These are both very strong cards that represent forms of dominance and control.

I had thought, when I pulled the cards this morning, that this was about work.  But after this evening, I know that it was a push for something else. A push to find some time for you… and for us… and for the time we’ve had tonight and the “tension relief” involved.

I know that we were trying not to allow me to drown during the holiday rush, but I think I needed that release of control and the giving it over to you for a bit.  I did drown, but it was just beneath the surface rather than deep within the depths, so hopefully the drop won’t be too bad.   Honestly?  If it is…. it was worth it.  I needed this time with you and that dynamic between us, that control and intensity that is an integral part of you and us.


Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: What relationship evolved the most this year?

Darkness of Light Tarot

Reading Summary:  At the beginning of the year I went through a severe depression (Five of Coins) and was very apathetic about the idea that my therapist had concerning a daily affirmation (Four of Cups). I decided, though, to to adjust the activity to something I could connect with (Death) which brought me to a place where I was more attuned to my emotions (Seven of Cups) and began to discover a new level of emotional depth within myself (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  The relationship that has evolved the most over the past year is my relationship with myself and my emotions.  Thanks to the mental health card of the day activity that I do here on the blog every day, I have been able to not just heal and recover from my depression much faster than I have in previous MDE experiences, but I have found a new outlook as well, which as helped me in discovering and beginning to explore, and even accept,  a depth of emotion that I quite honestly didn’t think that I was capable of.



One thought on “Flipping the Table

  1. I’m so glad that you are feeling better babyboy. I’m glad that I could help you relieve that tension and I’m so grateful for this time with you and that connection that we were able to share tonight. I did try not to take you too deep, but I could feel you slip beneath the surface and I think you’re probably right…that you needed that loss of control tonight. You needed a moment to hand over the reigns and just…be…feel…sink.

    I love that you can trust me with that, that you can just let go with me, if only for a few hours. And I am here, without a doubt, for when that drop happens. Big or small, I’m here, my love, to help you through it.

    I’m really glad as well that I was able to encourage you to do this daily blog post, that we found a way to make it work for you in a way that was way more beneficial than anyone could have expected. It’s helped you grow, it’s helped us grow closer and it’s keeping your outlook much more positive than it might be otherwise.

    I love you, beautiful boy. I’m so proud of you.

    And I’m here, whenever you need me, for whatever purpose you need me. I’m always just within reach.

    PS….That helper is so getting fired after the holidays. I knew I didn’t like her or her work ethics

    Liked by 1 person

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