Taking a Pause

Today’s meditation was skipped yet again.  I overslept then the day went all awry and… it just didn’t happen.

Playful Heart Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of misfortune, domestic or financial troubles, scarcity, and ill health.

Today’s card really speaks to me intuitively through the imagery.  It says that sometimes life is filled with absurdly frustrating and challenging moments, and that all you feel like doing those moments is breaking down on the side of the road and say fuck it.

I get this.  It happens.  Hell, it happens to me.  I have fallen apart in oncology appointments, had my soul screaming so loud that the only peace I could find is curled in the bottom of a running shower, and bawled my eyes out in physiotherapy sessions. Sometimes… falling apart feels like the only thing left.

The addition of the affirmation card for today is a reminder that when you’re feeling those moments come to their peak?  It’s time to pause. Take a big, deep breath and instead of screaming? Let it out slow then take another.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How are my goals progressing?

Backyard Blessings Cards and Playful Heart TarotThe Wheel of Fortune indicates that my progress comes and goes. Although not steady, it’s still moving forward.

The advice provided here indicates that, I need to make sure that I focus on optimism and abundance at this time.  I’m getting somewhere, even when things are slow.

But, I’ll get there quicker and healthier if I’m invested in joyful experiences along the way, feeling grateful for what I have, and making sure that I’m continuing to work on counteracting my pessimistic nature with more optimism. Especially during the times when things feel like they are lagging,


#DiscordTarotholicsJun2021 Challenge Prompt
: Self-Care for the New Moon…

Playful Heart TarotReading Summary: Go get that healthy alone time (The Hermit) in nature’s embrace (The Empress), before you lose the chance to do it (The Wheel).

Take Away: I’ve been a bit lax about getting myself out in the woods this last couple of months. Ever since the stalker letter showed up, actually.

I need to move past my resistance and actually do it though. I can feel I’m not getting what I need, and that it is not just dragging me down at this rate, but actually hurting me.

It’s possible (and, in fact, would make perfect sense) that my resistance here is seated not just in my concerns over the whole stalker issue and the fear involved in that, but also is tickling at my self-destruction tendencies.    In either case, whether it’s fear or the dark seduction of self-destruction, it’s something I need to break free of and not allow it to take root and continue to grow.


The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
: How can I move more into my heart space?

Secrets of the Mystic Grove OracleReading Summary: Being successful alone is well and good. But,when you work together with others your accomplishments are more significant, and you get more done. In looking ahead to the future, make sure that you are including others more in your endeavors and accomplishments.

Take Away: The cards here are indicating that if I want to move more into my heart space I need to invite those around me in closer and allow them more room in my life, including in allowing them to be more deeply involved in my endeavors and help me on my path to success and accomplishment.


Daily Self Kindness

I splurged on going to a seafood restaurant today and had calamari, deep fried brussels sprouts, four pieces of halibut fish and chips.

One thought on “Taking a Pause

  1. Aw baby I love you. Just hearing about your pain just…undoes me.

    And yes you do need to get out in nature but please, for me, me extra vigilant. Take people with you, preferably more than one. I need you safe baby

    Liked by 1 person

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