Fondness… Not Melancholy

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and eleven seconds, and focused on how sound can enhance one’s meditation practice.  It wasn’t in reference to music or chimes, but instead was concerning the organic sounds around you during a meditation such as traffic noise outside, the sound of rain, or footsteps, or hum of others in another room, etc.

In my case, I do not usually have much as far as intrusive sounds.  Although I live in a busy city, live on the far back corner of a building.  This means that most traffic noises, train noises, and other disturbances are muffled by the time they reach my home.  My home is also very quiet.  Because of my ‘crossed wires’ with the synesthesia, I often prefer my home to be silent in order to assist in avoiding sensory overload.  In fact, I often come home after being out with a huge sense of relief as I walk through the door because I know it will be quiet and I am in a place where I can control my environment and sensory input.

OOps, I digress.  Sorry. Noise in meditation…

For me, with the air conditioner turned off and no one home but myself, the only sound my ears could pick up on was my own breathing and just, very faintly, the muffled sound of traffic in the distance.   That sound is something I would describe as a very quiet “whoosh” type of sound with an emphasis on the ‘os’ and the space between those two letters in its pronunciation.  (Probably didn’t make much sense, but there you have it.)

I did not find this sound distracting or disturbing, so I’m not sure that the practice of “accepting sounds into your practice” really applied much for my meditation today.  It was a very relaxing meditation, though, without a lot of intrusive thoughts bouncing around trying to get my attention.

 It’s a new month starting today, and so the Student Tarot v5 has been tucked away and a new deck has been chosen… or rather, two decks have been chosen. The first deck (today’s deck) that I chose I felt was a little too modern and metro for an every day draw for me, especially since I only switch out decks every month for the daily draws, so I chose a second more earthy deck to alternate with (which you’ll see tomorrow).

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, or what is known in this deck as the “Nostalgia” card. Nostalgia is a good keyword for this card, as in the RWS system the Six of Cups is a representation of innocence, memories, reminiscing, and a sense of playfulness and joy in the area of emotions, relationships, intuition, imagination, and creativity.

For me, this card had a completely visceral reaction.  I didn’t even notice the key word at first, because…. look at that bakery.  Look at that old lady smooshed up against the glass going “oh those look so good. I remember those.”

That’s me.  I’m the old lady.

I’ve really struggled with the dietary restrictions that have come up over the past couple of years.  I need a certain enthusiasm for food in order to keep on weight, and I’m already a good distance below the weight I -should- be maintaining.  Without all that wonderful “crap food” that I used to savor and enjoy so much (but which now will raise my cholesterol too high), keeping my weight up has become a constant struggle.   I miss PopTarts and cupcakes, cookies and Cheetos, Capt’n Crunch and Cocoa Puffs, and french fries…. god I miss french fries SO much.  I miss being able to eat what I want…. ALL that I want, when I want.

The Six of Cups in today’s reading is a reminder that it’s okay to remember these things and how good they were, but don’t let it drag me down.  See all those hearts around that old lady’s head?   Exactly.    Fondness… not melancholy.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot

One thought on “Fondness… Not Melancholy

  1. You know, love, if you are going to try and get your cholesterol under control on your own and with diet alone, I think you should talk to your dietician about which things are at the top of the “no no” list for your cholesterol and which things are okay to have in moderation.

    Sometimes we focus so hard on “being good” that we forget to enjoy life and the food we eat and while I want and -need- you to stay healthy, I also need you to enjoy life and that means enjoying what you eat.

    I love you, angel mine. I miss your enjoyment of what you are eating and just…observing you in that space.


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