What is Important

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty six seconds, and focused on finding that balance between hard focus and full release during a meditation practice.

This can be difficult in the best of times.  If you focus too hard on the breath or whatever you’ve chosen as your focus in the moment, then you are not reaping the benefits of your meditation’s relaxation… on the other hand, if you are too loose in your focus, your mind wanders and you do not experience the benefits of mindfulness during meditation.  In fact, if you are too lose in your focus, you may end up simply sitting and thinking quietly, or daydreaming, instead of meditating.

The guided meditation spoke on how the key is to adjust your levels of focus and relaxation much like a guitar player tunes their guitar before each time they play.

I really like the analogy, and the story that went along with it (which is where the analogy came from).  My meditation, over all, was quite relaxing, and I’m finding that my left hip is finally starting to loosen up a bit.

Today’s draw is the Six of Wands with the key word Triumph on the card. The Six of Wands is a representation of, yes, triumph, but also public and private achievements, progress, cooperation, and a sense of vitality in the area of one’s willpower, drive, passions, and ambition.

I often take a minute to read what is written in the Journey into the Hidden Realm (which is the guidebook for the Tarot of the Hidden Realm) even though that’s not the cards I’m working with.  The thing is that I love the little stories that are written about each card’s imagery, which are all very Human/Fae liminal space in their tone and earth based. In today’s, there was a line that really stuck out to me.

That line is… “This card promises not only that you will be successful but that you will utterly amaze yourself.”

I like that.

Many times the Six of Wands is seen as a card dealing with public accolades and accomplishments on a public scale, but for me that is not really the case.  I have no interest in any of that.  What I have an interest in is my own personal goals, my own personal sense of successes and failures.

The only time I really seek accolades is in the hope that the jewelry I create finds a home with someone that appreciates it.   Even then, that is not -why- I create, or why I sell.  I create for me, because I need that outlet.  It brings me joy and balance.   I sell my creations (aside from the finance aspect) because I want my creations to bring joy, comfort, or enjoyment to another and enhance their life in some way.

This is very important to me, and I think the inner examination in this post was the entire message of today’s draw of the Six of Wands.   A sort of…. getting in touch with what is important to me.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot

What Seeds Take Root

Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 10 seconds and focused on transforming negative emotions into positive ones. More specifically, it dealt with irritation, but I really do feel that this could be applied to any negative emotions.

The example used in the meditation explained how you can use your meditation practice, mindfulness, and breathing exercises to transform such emotions as irritation into a more positive light.  This is done by taking a minute and a “step back”, just to take a couple of deep breaths and seek a bit of perspective outside yourself.

The meditation itself included a breathing exercise where you rhythmically count your breaths in, then hold, then breaths out.  I found it so relaxing that I had a hard time getting up after the meditation was done.  I just wanted to lie there and dawdle the day away.   Of course, my stomach and metabolism had other ideas.

Today’s draw is yet another duo, which again had no jumper but came out together. That would be the 14th card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card, and the Nine of Swords. The keyword on the temperance card is “balance”, and the keyword on the Nine of Swords card is “sorrow”.

To be honest?  I’m not even going to bother defining the traditional meaning for these two cards today, because my intuition is working overtime on this deck, to the point it seems to be almost “mentally blocking” the more analytical, educated side of things.

What I see in these cards is, first and foremost, that Sorrow is at the back.   When I read, the rear card in a double jump is always the subject, and the overlaying card is the commentary.

What the cards are telling me is that, although depression is often a brain chemistry thing for me, in order to assist myself and my meds in keeping myself afloat and out of the mess of a deep pit that my depression is prone to throwing me into… I need to make sure I continue to focus on balance.

I’ve been very tempted lately to up my hours on my part time jobs, because things have been slow with the business.  Not surprising, things are always slow this time of year.  Still, I push myself so hard that the temptation is there even if I don’t really NEED to struggle and strive and push for more.

I need to make sure I remember that this time of year is a time for rest for me.  Next month I have to start gearing up and preparing for the busy holiday season ahead.  June, July, and August are the only months all year that I have to essentially “slack off”.

I need to stop feeling guilt over that “slacking” and see it as what it is.   A time for healing.  A time for restoration.   A time to refill my cup for what’s coming, and repair the damage (emotional, spiritual, physical) that I’ve done to myself over the past year when things were so busy I couldn’t barely breathe.

If I do not give myself that balance?   I will pay for it later in not just my mood, but in my energy levels, creativity, and enthusiasm as well. Which would create a prime set-up for a bit of darkness to creep in and root into the soil.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot


Pay Attention to Motive

Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length and focused on the differences between concentration and mindfulness.   Concentration being a laser sharp focus on something, where as mindfulness is more of an awareness of everything in that moment.

I can’t say I really paid that much attention, in fact, I had to re-play the discussion part of it just to remember -what- the focus of the meditation was.  This is because I was having a very good meditation where my focus was turned inward and on the breath.

Sometimes, if I get really into it, the rest of the world melts away and that was the case today.  I find these times to be the most refreshing, actually, so it was really nice to be able to find that headspace for today.

Today’s draw is from the same deck as yesterday (cuz I forgot to switch them out) and came up as the Four of Cups along with a repeat of the Nine of Cups from yesterday.  Neither of these cards were jumpers, as they both came out of the deck together.

The Nine of Cups, as you will remember from yesterday, is a representation of fruition and fulfillment, culmination, and consequences in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

The Four of Cups is a representation of stability, shelter, ease, taking time to reassess, and stagnancy in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

I still see the Nine of Cups as a carry over from yesterday.  It clearly is stating to me “don’t get cocky” or overconfident.  The underlying message has changed, though, to the Four of Cups.

Together, these cards are speaking of making sure I’m not reacting (or acting) out of boredom (just as yesterday they were speaking of impulsivity).  Whether bored or feeling impulsive, the cards for both days come with the overlying message that says “don’t get cocky”.  Take my time.  Pay attention.  Put some thought into my decisions and actions before I actually do or say anything.

Very important.

 Deck Used: Visions of Life Tarot


And now for a moment of levity.

Z sent this to me today in email and it made me laugh….


Scarcity Issues

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, but I did it twice because I was so comfortable in the bathtub at the time that I just didn’t want to move on.

The meditation today dealt with “autopilot”. You know, those times that everyone has where they just go through the motions without really being mindful or conscious of what they’re doing? I do this a lot while driving, but I know it’s not the only time.

The meditation, though, was an encouragement to seek out those times and be present in them instead of letting the time, experiences, and choices that those times you are on autopilot go to waste. It outlined a few methods to assist in “checking in” with yourself during the day in order to further this awareness of when you are “checking out” of your day.

I liked this meditation, and I think the practice of pulling yourself out of those moments is really important. It’s when I spend too much time on autopilot that the world begins to look lackluster, and I think this may be one of the subtle steps that slips me deeper into depression when it starts to sneak up on me.

Today’s card is the Five of Pentacles, which in this deck is titled as Poverty. The Five of cups is a representation of hardship, harshness, tests, and trials in the area of resources, money, and the physical world.

What struck me on this card is that in the image the wealthy-dressed individual is the beggar, and the farmer dressed individual is the charitable one. This card’s appearance today in the daily draw is a reminder to me that I’m not as bad off as my fears try to tell me I am.

I work hard and struggle constantly to bring in funds because I am focused on the constant, nagging fear that my financial stability is at risk. The key words there are “at risk”, because if I really sit down and think it through, the fact of the matter is that that stability really isn’t at risk. My fear is far out of proportion to the reality of the situation. Between what I make and the help I seek out when I need it, things are on track and stable, it’s just my inner shadow whispering to me that they aren’t.

The Five of Pentacles is telling me to spend a bit more time remembering this instead of listening to that insidious shadow always whispering in my ear.

Deck Used: Visions of Life Tarot