Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I had an extremely difficult time staying focused today, which is not particularly surprising considering what I had planned for later in the morning. I think it was good that I did sit down and do it, though, as it helped settle my nerves a bit.
Now that that part of the day is over, though, I will probably try again later this evening before we begin the drive home.
Today’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is also apropos for this morning’s activities. Although in this case it is me showing others a different perspective than taking one myself. There is a part of the Hanged Man’s interpretation that has to do with criminal behavior and payment as well, which is also appropriate.
The appearance of the Hanged Man in today’s draw is a reminder of who I am and what I stand for. It is here to keep me from getting lost in my rebellion or the upheaval that it causes and is sure to cause down the line. My acts today were done with reason and purpose, and when the chaos is swirling around me I need to keep hold of that and remember that.
DECK USED: CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT
#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with my mind?
Reading Summary: A strong and stable connection with my mind (King of Swords) will require me to stay true to my values (Judgement) and that intrinsic sense of fairness that I need so deeply (Justice).
Take Away: My inner sense of self and moral compass requires a balanced approach and a fairness to be incorporated into my thoughts and actions. When I occasionally stray from this, it weakens that connection I have to my mind and it’s level and logical approach to seeing and processing the world.
DECK USED: THE INVERSION TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I be a better friend?
Reading Summary: Be there for my friends when they need a helping hand (Nine of Wands) and provide the emotional boosts that they occasionally need (Knight of Cups) when they are trapped into feelings of uncertainty (The Moon).
Take Away: Sometimes friends need more than outside the box thinking to help them work through a problem and find a solution. Sometimes they need emotional support as well. It’s not really my strong suit, but the cards indicate if I want to be a better friend, this is an area I could improve on.
Deck Note: Oddly? I really love this deck, which considering the subject reminder is a bit surprising to me. The deck reminds me of those tiny green plastic soldier toys from the dollar store. I know that these are actual WWII propaganda posters, but they all have that “toy soldiers playing out card meanings” feel to me. I kinda like it.
DECK USED: WWII POSTERS TAROT
Reading Summary: I don’t know the system for these cards as they are a recent gift without any sort of book, so the read off these is 100% intuitive off the imagery. The cards indicate that I need to step out of my shell more with others at large rather than just hiding away. In the shadow behind me is pride and depression… or rather that indulging in pride can lead into depression.
Take Away: It’s true that I have a habit of closing myself off. It’s not elitist or that I mean to close people out, so much as that it is a defense mechanism that was created through experiencing some pretty damaging betrayals. I don’t mean to project that on others, but when I feel vulnerable I retreat rather than stepping forward.
As for what lingers in my shadow. The “pride” I am seeing here is my demand to live up to some imaginary standard that I can never quite reach. In this context, the fact that I fail to reach this standard can absolutely be a trigger for depression.