Comfort and Strength

Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes, and the next installment of the ‘how to’ series that I’ve been working my way through.  The focus in today’s meditation was how to take your focus deeper into that “quiet place” of calm that can be found when you focus so strongly and so closely that everything else in the world fades away.

I have had this experience in our play, and in my work.  But I’ve never tried to accomplish it in my meditation before.   Although I could just lightly touch upon that mental space for a few fractions of a second at a time, I couldn’t sustain it, but I have a feeling that with practice I could.

Strength - Slow Tarot Today’s draw is the Strength card of the Major Arcana, which means that it is a “big picture” theme rather than any one specific aspect of the human condition.

When I saw this card this morning, I wasn’t sure how it would relate to my day, and a variety of possibilities for the positive message it could convey were running through my head.   As the evening has progressed, though, I have found where the inner strength that is represented in this card is needed, and with it the comforting that really struck me in the imagery itself.

It was really hard to come to the realization that I am still losing memories from the head injury I sustained fourteen years ago.  Over the past few years, there have been some really encouraging signs that indicate a recovery of some of the memories I’d lost, and I had not really noticed having lost anything important other than during my depressive episodes.

I discovered this evening that that is not so much the case, and that some of the memories that I have lost and not worried overly about are joined by memories that I don’t -want- to lose… but have.  These losses bring up within me a deep and somewhat terrifying sense of helplessness, and that is where the message in today’s card steps forward.  It is a reminder of my strength and that I am a survivor.  It is also a reminder that in times of distress, there are those that I love and that love me that I can reach out to for comfort and support.

Deck Used:  Slow Tarot

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: What can I do to better embrace change?

Manga TarotReading Summary:  Approach with an open mind and outlook of open curiosity and imagination (Page of Cups), accepting that cycles are a part of life and change is simply a part of our movement through these cycles (The World), and take time to plan and prepare for when the dust settles (Three of Wands).

Take Away: So often when change approaches, there is a tendency to close off and either ignore  what is happening as long as we can, or resist the change entirely.  Embracing change, though, requires a receptivity and acceptance to both the current change as well as the fact that change is an eventuality in life.  Instead of wasting energy on fighting against something that is going to happen whether you like it or not, take that energy and use it to plan for your next moves forward on your path so you are somewhat prepared for where your feet will land when the storm is over.

Deck Used:  Manga Tarot

One thought on “Comfort and Strength

  1. It’s okay baby. I know that realizing the loss of this memory felt pretty devastating for you, but I want you to remember a few things, hm? First of all, you have been retaining MUCH more these days. Losing less and less than you used to. Also, that memory was short-lived in that it transpired over only a few days, maybe a week or two? That’s -all- the time that the memory had to ingrain itself into your mind and it was surrounded by trauma and upset and possibly even one of those depressive episodes you speak of that causes you to lose memory.

    Unfortunately, while I was able to remind you of that memory, I cannot recall if this was indeed followed by a depressive episode or not or supply you with all the details as it has been some time ago and even my memory recall isn’t the greatest.

    And you’re right, you do have people around you who love you, who will support you and do all we can to help you recall these memories and bring them back to you. Keep in mind that this particular memory happened before you started certain exercises(like journaling etc that helps you to retain things and gives you a place to go back and refresh those memories)

    Don’t despair too much, my love.

    The bonus read…I’m so proud of you. You have never been particularly good or comfortable with change but I feel like that lately you’ve been alot more…willing to accept it. You’ve been able to face it with an entirely different and healthier perspective which I think will help you in that adjustment.

    I love you, beautiful boy. Always


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