Confidence and Perspective Changes

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on how sometimes gifts come in the form of what you shed or release, rather than what you gain, and how that is one of the things about meditation practice that is of great value.

What they mean by this is that the gift that meditation gives you isn’t always an increase in focus or an advancement of some kind, it’s in the releasing of stress and the decrease of anxiety, etc.

I think that this view is a lot like the view that I have of the negative incidents and people in my past.    It’s a “look for the silver lining” approach.   This is not to negate though, as I think it’s a very good point and good practice to get into.  Life is better and there is better perspective within it when you can accept that even the bad things that happen to you have value.

Queen of Wands - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.  This theme portrays itself with independence, confidence, and determination.  The Queen of Wands is ambitious and knows how to get what she wants and go after what she believes is hers.

What I see in today’s card is encouragement.  It’s appearance today is there to boost my self confidence, which wavered a bit when the less-than whisper came during the recent drop.  The Queen of Wands has arrived to remind me that I am strong and passionate, and if they don’t like me?  Fuck’em.

I’ll try to take her message to heart, although I’m not quite far enough out of the post-drop tenderness for it to really sink in at the current moment.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: Where may I need to shake things up?

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight Reading Summary:  I need to look recently occurring new perspectives (Hanged Man) concerning the drop (Eight of Swords) and the emotions that stem from it (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: Ok, so I had a really hard time with this last drop.  Yes it was massive, but it went beyond that, because for the first time in a long time, I completely shut down rather than allowing myself to deal with it.  And honestly?  My perception and feelings about it were different this time too, leaning far more to the negative.   I focused on those negatives rather than on the vulnerability and inner worries and fears, which didn’t help things.

This new perspective isn’t a healthy one, and isn’t healthy for me at all.  This isn’t the first time I’ve drowned so deep, or had such a massive drop afterward.  But I didn’t handle it well at all this time, and I need to look at approaching the drop and the emotions surrounding it from a different mindset in the future so that I don’t go back there again.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

One thought on “Confidence and Perspective Changes

  1. Yeah, baby, fuck em…especially those who are cruel and small minded and set out to hurt others for their own personal gain. They don’t deserve your time or energy.

    I know getting past this isn’t as easy as this…it’s going to take time and effort and probably alot of pain and upset when you are ready to dig this out and deal with it. Until then…just remember that -I- love you, admire you and that I’m proud of you.

    As for the bonus read…yeah, you did shut down. Alot of it was due to the situation and having the helper there for such a long period of time -during- the worst(or what should have been) part of the drop. You got caught up in those negative emotions and instead of reaching for me, you shied away and hid from me…and then the demons crept up with the “less than” crap and it all kinda went downhill from there.

    We managed to get through it and ease some of it, to work through the drop, but if it wasn’t all about the situation(the helper and being interrupted) then maybe we need to talk through what caused you to retreat instead of letting me help.

    I love you, angel mine. Always. All ways

    Liked by 1 person

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