Month: August 2020

Pay Closer Attention

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused upon pain reduction through pranayama (breathing exercises). Honestly? I was having a bit of an anxious morning to begin with, as my family doctor’s phone was on the fritz and when I tried to call there was a “this line is no longer in service”.  It gave me a serious “oh fuck” moment as I worried if I was going to be able to get my refills.  (It’s all sorted now. I ran down there and talked to the receptionist in person. Apparently they’re having “phone problems”.)

Next World Tarot - Two of SwordsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with a difficult choice and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision.  It can also indicate an avoidance of making a choice, as is demonstrated by the blindfold.

Okay so… I didn’t see the significance of this when I pulled the card this morning.  I didn’t even guess that the fact that the rock the woman is sitting on looks like a toilet would be a warning of what was to come today.   Totally missed that message until it was too late.

And then… I look closer and realize that it actually is a toilet.  Jesus christ I really wasn’t paying attention this morning.

Right.  Tummy problems.  Today’s message was to watch out for tummy problems.  I did not listen… and I’m now paying the price.

Okay, really tho.   Today’s message is about making good choices.  I made a really bad choice today and the card gave me a very literal warning that I completely missed until it was too late.   It’s all about the good choices.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: Why have I struggled to hear anxiety’s messages in the past?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Because the newness of it (Ace of Swords) has blinded me (Eight of Swords) and causes a need to regroup (Four of Swords).  This then smothers out the light (The Sun) by muffling my motivation (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  When a spike of anxiety happens, it feels like it’s coming out of the blue.  It’s painful and so “new” feeling that it leaves me stumbling blindly, as if reeling from a blow.  Because I react in this way, I then need recovery afterward, which steals away motivation and muffles out opportunities for more positive experiences.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Use Care / Be Carefree

Stunning TarotUse Care – Warrior of Swords – Use care both in your ambition but also in your comebacks. When you quip, sometimes it can be taken as more cutting than you intend it to be. Make sure that you are not getting so focused on your ambitions that you lose track of everything else around you.

Be Carefree – Three of Swords – You worry too much.  You spend too much time focusing on the negative and viewing the world through a pessimistic lens.  Stop closing your eyes to all of the good that surrounds you and work at being more carefree in enjoying things from a more positive and optimistic viewpoint

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, when I am ready to release and flow, what should I know?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary: There are always going to be others that care about me (Two of Hearts) and have the same vision as I do to help me along the way in my endeavors (Three of Diamonds).  Make sure that you aren’t leaving these people behind in your effort to find something better (Six of Spades).

Take Away:  “Release and Flow” is such a foreign concept to me. But the advice here makes sense.  If “release and flow” means going with the flow to move on from something crappy into a better situation, then it’s important not to leave those behind that are your support system and have a piece of your heart in their hands.  They should be along with you for the ride.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my gifts?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Diving into creative endeavors and passionate goals (Knight of Wands). Knowing when to cut and run (Six of Swords)… and when to stay and fight (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Sometimes a gift can also be a curse, and the first part of the answer for this question is definitely one of those.  The gift of being able to hone in on my focus and plow into my intent, to go after what I want with single minded determination is both a gift… and a curse.  Because when you have that kind of focus, and that kind of drive?  Sometimes you forget about all the other important things that need to be tended to as well.

The second gift is the ability to know when it’s time to walk away, and when it’s time to stay and fight.  When I walk away, I do so for good reason.  It’s for my own health and well-being, and I rarely look back on these decisions.  On the other side of this coin, when I dig in my heels and decide to stay and fight for something I believe in, I become relentless in that and the determination and conviction I bring with me into these situations more often than not turns the table to my benefit.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_0332Not the Earth

you’re looking for
Not the soil
you crave
and yet each day
it generously feeds you
the energy
and stability
you need
to make it one more day
and another
until the forests
can welcome you home.

If I could spend each and every day in the rainforests of the Pacific Northwest, I think that it probably still wouldn’t be enough.  I am fortunate, and infinitely grateful, that when I can’t get out to the welcoming arms of the forest I love, there is still plenty of work to be done on my employer’s farm to keep my connection to the earth healthy and strong.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Teapot

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Pull (at least) three cards use them as the foundation to tell us about the life of a very delicate or fragile object or person.

22 Talismani in 22 ArcaniI once lived in the home of an old mystic (La Papessa – The High Priestess) that was skilled in many methods of divination (Il Bagatto – The Magician). I was trusted to hold her special herbs and serve them up in warm water’s embrace, so that she could read the tea leaves that fell from my spout.

Many that came to the mystic’s home specifically to have their tea leaves read, and they looked upon my rounded belly like shining beacon of hope. (Le Stelle – The Star)

One day, someone did not like the advice given in the tea leaves. They reported the mystic to the law (La Giustizia – Justice), who then came and told her that she had to shut down (La Torre – The Tower) and would no longer be able to take people into her home (L’eremita – The Hermit).

The mystic moved on from the path of the tea leaves (La Forza – Strength). She found other things bring her joy and became a great-grandmother (Il Sole The Sun). Soon after, she passed on and I was placed in gentle hands to be set upon a shelf (L’appeso – The Hanging). to watch quietly as the mystic’s family continued to grow and flourish in her wake. I am a remnant of the past, and a remembrance of a woman loved and now gone (La Temperanza – Temperance).

DECK USED:  22 TALISMANI IN 22 ARCANI

It’s Okay to Open Up a Bit

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was one of those harp strings meditations with the chimes set up to tell me when to shift between piriformis stretches.   The lack of time with the chiropractor is really starting to show in my stiffness and the amount of pain going on in my back and ribs during both my yoga and my meditation.  I’ve tried upping my yoga/physiotherapy to compensate, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

Tarot of SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Princess (Page of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy in the areas of thoughts, intellect, aspirations, communication, and logic.

What really stands out to me in this card today is both the title at the bottom “Gift of Telling” and the swirling of leaves that spiral around the Fae before traveling off into the distance on the wind. These things remind me of reading to children at the library.  I don’t usually get on with children, which isn’t  surprising as I grew up very fast.   Yet, for a time in high school I volunteered at the library for work credit for one of my classes, and one of my favorite experiences was reading to the children for story time.

During this time, children would gather around and I would read to them from the pre-chosen book for the day, and they would all be so eager… engaged.  Some of them even came to sit closer or lean against me or my chair (depending on if I was sitting on the floor or not).   This was a time of learning for me, and of receptive learning… as well as a time of “Telling”.

This memory was triggered by this card today, and the message here is in the reminder that when you teach… you also learn.  It’s never one sided.  If you’re open to allowing others in you can get as much from teaching and sharing with others as you give.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I benefit from regarding anxiety as a messenger instead of an enemy?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary:  By not turning away from my anxiety and regarding it as disposable (Eight of Cups), it can then become empowering to both the heart (Queen of Cups) and mind (Queen of Swords) if I pay attention to what my anxiety is trying to tell me.

Take Away:  Yesterday the cards indicated that my anxiety is a way to keep me from becoming too comfortable and confident in my situation and stability. The cards here indicate that if I choose to listen to these warnings my anxiety brings up instead of ignoring them, it will allow me to find steadier footing by engaging my heart and mind into the equation so that I can weigh out how things are going more clearly.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What joy in my life needs more recognition?

Tarot del FuegoReading Summary: My ability to see different perspectives (The Hanged Man) on the painful crap that happens (Ten of Swords) then opens me up to a wider variety of choices and opens up more opportunities to me than I would otherwise have (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  I’m not entirely sure that I would consider this a joy? But I think that the answer possibly applies anyway, as having the ability to have all these choices before me creates opportunities for me to instill more joy in my life.   So then, the joy in my life that needs recognition is not the joy sitting before me, but rather the potential for joy that I disregard when looking over all those options and opportunities set out before me..

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What emotions serve me better released instead of held on to?

Tabula Mundi in Minima Tarot

Four of Cups – It’s better to allow my love to wash over others than to hold it in and be restrained. It shouldn’t be saved to be expressed just for special occasions, but spread throughout each and every day.

The Emperor – Release your need to be so rigid in so many aspects of your life.  When you hold on to things too tightly, you run the risk of crushing them to dust.

Six of Wands – Allow others to see the lighter side of your personality.  You don’t need to be withdrawn and serious all the time.  You have a warmth within you that you feel towards others, but are always so scared to display to them.  It’s okay to let that warmth out and express it more freely.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What holds me back?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: It is a form of emotional immaturity (Page of Cups Rx) to fight against catastrophe (The Tower) instead of just rolling with the punches (Seven of Swords) and allowing them to do what they’re here to do and create a new home and stability in the wake (Four of Swords).

Take Away:  Stop fussing over the shit that might come, or the mess it might make when it arrives.  It solves nothing and simply stalls you out.  The advice here is to instead allow the chaos to come, let it wash over you, and ride it out to the other side.  Have faith in the universe and that everything will balance out in the end.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_1963Daydream

of days
with ice and snow
and air that nips
at the fingertips
while sitting
in the heat
muggy and deep
when will
this heat wave
end?

I count myself fortunate that it was cool through June and comfortable through most of July, but now that the heat wave is upon us I’ve decided once more that Summer is really just a slow crawl through hell.   I can’t wait for the first nip of Autumn to announce cool weather’s approach.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Hope Lives… Even In Darkness

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and I was a little fidgety. I think it was because I got so much sleep last night that I ended up with a bit of excess energy trying to find a way free. Or maybe my body and mind just liked the hike so much yesterday that it was itching to go out for another one.   That is very possible as well.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is a representation of struggles, tests, trials, and conflicts in the area of one’s finances, resources, hearth and home, health, or manifestations.

The there was no one thing that really stood out to me in this card today, but what really stood out was the overall atmosphere.  All the buildings for sale and this girl sits with all her things packed up looking out at what surely feels like a wasteland at this moment.  In truth, the imagery really hit home considering the news that I’d gotten the other day about the possible fate of my own home.

I think sometimes we all have that feeling of the world falling apart around us.  When we’re in that moment, it’s hard to see that there might be a light down there at the end of the tunnel.  We don’t realize that we just can’t see it yet.

The message in today’s card is to not give up hope… even when things feel hopeless.  Even when things feel like they’re falling apart.   Don’t give up hope. This is just one more than that’s only temporary.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How is anxiety trying to help me?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: My anxiety is trying to warn me when I become too confident (Six of Wands) in my security and stability (King of Pentacles)… so that I can make sure I’m seeing the path before me clearly and won’t end up tripping over anything along the way (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  Sometimes when you get a little too comfortable in your current situation, you can forget to look ahead, and forget to keep in mind that hard times are sure to come again eventually in one form or another.  My anxiety is a reminder not to get so comfortable that I forget to look forward and watch my step.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #3

Magic TarotSeeds Sown – Ten of Pentacles – Of the seeds that I planted in the spring concerning my emotional growth, what has managed to flourish and grow strong is that I’ve been able to find more a centered and balanced sense of fulfillment in what I have in the present and where I am in my life.

The Chaff – Queen of Wands – Of those seeds that I planted in the spring, what has not flourished into fruition is that I didn’t get all of the creative things done that I wanted to accomplish this summer, such as the wood burning project. But that’s okay, and I need to let that disappointment go so that I can be “large and in charge” in other areas now that the fall is coming.

The Harvest – Temperance – To prepare to reap the benefits of the seeds that have flourished, I need to make sure I’m practicing patience and moderation as I move into the fall so that I can give my harvest the best chance of coming to fruition.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What feelings serve me best explored instead of ignored?

Big Things In Small Packages Tarot

The Sun – Joy. This is a feeling that I struggle with feeling I deserve. Instead of ignoring it, though, it’s one that I need to embrace and enjoy more often.  Too often I push it away in favor of responsibility and obligation.

Three of Wands – The urge to turn down the troubled path rather than a healthy one is something I’ve always struggled with.  These self destructive urges are by their very nature… self destructive.  Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away.  Instead it’s important to sort through those feelings when they rise up, and figure out where they’re coming from.

Queen of Pentacles Rx – Self-indulgence as a way to deal with my emotions is another of my self destructive patterns. This is one of those unhealthy paths mentioned in the Three of Wands.  It’s just that we are getting into specifics.  This is about consumption. Like with most self destructive urges, it’s important to seek out why they have arisen rather than sweeping them under the rug.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I bring more joy into my life?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure you have direction (Three of Wands), but at the same time don’t push so hard (Eight of Pentacles Rx) that it steals away your joy (Seven of Swords).

Take Away: The message here is not so much about bringing more joy into my life but allowing it to have space there so that it can flourish on its own.  When I push too hard towards the future and make myself work too hard towards goals I become too damned focused on?   It smothers out the joy in my life.   So it’s okay to have direction… but don’t go overboard.  Leave space for joy, and it will grow and flourish in my life all on its own.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT