Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Vivid Journey Tarot, White Light Oracle, Botanical Inspirations Oracle

EarthKnight of Swords, The Moon, Garden Heliotrope – You may feel a bit directionless this week and uncertain in your path forward concerning hearth and home and that stability you crave. It’ll take some determination to move beyond those feelings of uncertainty. You’ll need to use that inner fire that lives inside you to push through these feelings and keep your eye on the prize.

AirSix of Wands and Hibiscus –  Aesthetic is everything this week.  Not just what appeals to you, either, but what appeals to the masses. You make beautiful things with your hands every day.  Take some time this week to explore some of those “brilliant ideas” you’re always having, paying special attention to those that have extra aesthetic appeal.

WaterKnight of Cups and Violet –  Another message about ego and restraint, which is the second or third of these messages this week.  Take care to practice some modesty and restraint in how you feel about the results of your creative endeavors.  Getting too confident could end with you tripping over your  own feet.

FireThe Devil and Hydrangea – You may feel yourself falling a bit more deeply into the trap of self soothing in unhealthy ways this week.  Instead of indulging and perpetuating the cycle, it would be helpful and healthy to step aside and examine what is triggering these impulses. Once you understand where they are coming from, you can then explore solutions.

WaningLasya of Parvati – Gentleness and grace are the tenants of Lasya of Parvati, and in this card you are being told that this week will not be as gentle or as graceful as you might like.  Although it won’t be the smoothest or easiest ride, it also won’t be the end of the world.   Just take a deep breath and keep moving.

WaxingSolve Polluti 741Hz – Make this week a time of clearing out of negative energies and cleansing.  Sometimes harmful energies have a way of sneaking in to wreak havoc a little bit at a time.  A little extra meditation and adding in a cleansing ritual to the process this week would benefit you greatly.

This card also feels like it is looking at the Fire position in the spread (directionality within the imagery).  This indicates to me that the cleansing mentioned here will benefit me in this area of my addictions and bad habits used to self soothe.

Take Away –  Use your enthusiasm for the creative process and appreciation for appealing aesthetic to pull yourself past the feelings of uncertainty that well up this week.  Focus on the pleasure in the work and not the end result. As pleased as you are with your finished projects, the finish line is not the point of the work.   Make sure you are doing extra self cleansing this week…. perhaps add in a second salt and vinegar soak in the tub and a couple of energy cleansings during your meditation practice.

DECKS USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT, WHITE LIGHT ORACLE, BOTANICAL INSPIRATIONS ORACLE

Confidence vs. Ego

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a simple relaxing harp strings meditation with an intermittent timer just to keep me on track.  I did some basic piriformis stretching, but nothing particularly strenuous or difficult.  I just wanted a nice, peaceful meditation and that’s exactly what I got for once.

Next World Tarot - Knight of WandsToday’s draw is the Knight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of an active, projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive.

Interestingly, although I usually relate pretty strongly to the Knight of Wands, the imagery in this card just… doesn’t do it for me.   The barren ground… the smirking expression.  It’s just doesn’t speak of that drive that I usually associate with this card.

Instead, what I see here is ego. It’s that “Yeah baby, I’m so good my farts don’t stink… they fly like chocolate flavored eagles in a sky that wants to emulate my fashion sense.”

Cracks up… and there’s the message right? Watch your ego. Don’t get too cocky.  Confidence is great, but don’t let it go so far that it becomes a detriment  and blinds you to your own flaws and mistakes.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What do I think a healing journey “should” look like?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: A well planned out direction (Two of Wands), leading to epiphany moments (Judgement), followed by better balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Yes, I know that that vision of what a healing journey should look like is unrealistic.  Nothing is ever that simple.   But when I imagine what a “healing journey” should look like… that’s what my idea scenario feels like.  A plotted course that has a plan on where I intend to end up and how I’m going to get there, and moments of realization and epiphany along the way that assist in finding new perspectives and easing self judgements, followed by a healed self with better balance in the different areas of my life as a byproduct.   It’s a wonderful fantasy, yeah?

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Remember / Forgive / Forget

Spark and Pen TarotRememberTwo of Wands and King of Pentacles
Remember what you’ve learned about planning turning into paying off. I’m not sure that this is a lesson I’m going to forget very soon, but there are times when I do forget… usually when my enthusiasm and excitement cause me to get carried away.  The message here in these cards though is that you need a direction to climb in in order to reach the top.

ForgiveSix of Cups and The Moon
Forgive yourself for the times in life when you’ve been uncertain and stop beating yourself up about them. In my youth, I made a number of bad choices and a there was a lot of trial and error in learning how to survive on my own and thrive. Sometimes I look back on those times and some of the things I’d done… and I feel a disappointment and negative judgement. The cards here are indicating that instead of holding onto these things, I need to let them go and forgive myself for them.

ForgetPage of Wands and Five of Cups
Forget the hardships that came with learning how to get where you are. Shit happened… There were doubts… That’s no reason to keep emotionally rehashing the past and those learning experiences. You learned the lessons and can retain them without the need to hold on to the emotional pleasantries and negative inner narrative that comes up when these hardships and all that happened during them are rehashed.

Take Away – Hold onto the lessons and let go of the blame and negative self judgement. Everyone learns some lessons in life the hard way, and that’s okay.  Plot  your course to success, and leave the past in the past where it belongs.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can the element of Air empower my psyche?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Enthusiasm (Ace of Wands) and intuition (The High Priestess), flavored by a go get’em creative flow at its core (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  The element of air empowers my psyche by giving me the tools to go after what inspires my creativity.  Those tools are a combination of enthusiasm and intuition.  As my creativity carries me forward and I dive into those things that stir up my creative juices, it’s those elements of enthusiasm and intuition that feed into and swirl through my creativity to allow manifestation and actual creation to take place.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me pain?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Creativity and imagination (Page of Cups) drawing praise from others (Six of Wands), that ends up resulting in being alone (The Hermit).

Take Away:  There have been many times in my life where I’ve had my imagination and creativity flowing, while being encouraged and praised by those around me. That imagination and creativity seems to draw them in and their praise makes me feel like maybe there is a connection there between me and these people, and yet instead of sticking around when I need a little time to myself, they always end up disappearing for good and leaving me alone when I come back from my temporary retreats into myself.  This experience has made me feel used… which, of course, hurt.

This was an unexpected result of the reading of this question.  Not that it’s not true… it absolutely is.  It’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about or examining before.  A lot of the really thought provoking answers I’ve gotten lately have been about how I relate to others.  This reading adds into those previous readings, creating another angle of perspective for them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_6584Passing Time

Once a place of sink or swim
now a lazy resting spot
and sunsets
Quiet time
spent at the rail
watching ships go by
and daydreaming
of younger days
spent splashing
below.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
Have a talk with your divination tools about boundaries. Boundaries play a vital role in healthy lives both magical and mundane, but they can be tricky or just plain hard to set and honor.

Discover the Pacific Northwest Playing Cards

Where have I neglected to set boundaries in my life that are needed?
Four of Clubs

In my home life.  To be fair, living with two women that know me so very well does make boundaries a bit more challenging than normal.  With Z living with my sister and I since March, there’s a lack of space and privacy that is making the boundaries I would normally set and uphold nearly impossible to establish.  There’s just not enough space right now. I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances tho.

Is there anywhere in my life where my boundaries are too strict or are unnecessary?
Queen of Hearts

It’s not necessary to guard myself so stringently against emotional upset.  A part of life is going through the bumps and bruises that allow you to grow, and this includes emotionally.  Putting up stringent boundaries to protect yourself isn’t healthy.

What are my most important boundaries?
Ace of Spades

New ideas are all well and good, but one of my most important boundaries is the pause taken to really think things through before actively pursuing when inspiration strikes. If I pursued every single inspired idea that popped into my head, I would never get anything done.  There’s just not enough time and energy to dive into them all.

What are the most important factors or priorities that inform my boundaries?
Two of Spades

Depth of thought and careful consideration, as well as a need to cover my ass in those times when I’m not being as observant and aware of my surroundings as I should be.  Everything in life boils down to the choices we make and a lot of the boundaries that I erect are based around guiding myself into those good choices.  First you dig the trench… then you pour the water.

How do I regularly honor someone else’s boundaries?
Jack of Spades

By pausing and listening rather than trying to push my own thoughts and ideas on others.  Although I’m happy to teach, how I honor others boundaries on the regular has to do with how I am willing to listen and learn from others through their thoughts and perspectives.

Is there anywhere in my life that I’m neglecting to honor someone’s boundaries?
Three of Spades

When I see someone in pain, I want to help.  Sometimes I overstep other’s boundaries in my desire to help them through their troubles.

DECK USED: DISCOVER THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST PLAYING CARDS

That Whisper is You

Today’s meditation was… thwarted. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday to bet orders done and shipped out today as planned. When I settled in to meditate, I fell asleep almost immediately.  I then tried again later in the day… and had myself a second sleep when I fell asleep almost immediately a second time.  I’ll try again when I go to bed tonight, but I have a feeling that today’s meditation just was not meant to happen.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is is the Dreamer Nine (Nine of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of nightmares, torturous thoughts, worries, headaches, insomnia, and other anxieties as well as their effects.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery today is the hand that hovers in the air above the sleeping Fae.  It comes from her breath, swelling out ethereal and insubstantial from deep within her body only to rise up and out of her into the physical.  Blood and bone and claws that hover over her as she dreams.

The message here today is about where anxiety and worries come from, and feels like a reiteration of yesterday’s message about where heartache comes from.

This card says… That scary ass dream that wells up in the night? It comes from you.

Our worries and anxieties are self created, and not something inflicted upon us. They come from our brain and build as we let them have free reign.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I focus on healing my traumas rather than trying to erase them?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: Don’t depend on your conscious mind alone. Your spiritual path (The High Priestess) is an important part of looking forward into the future (Page of Swords). Allow your friends to lift you up (Three of Cups) when you are feeling overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  There is encouragement here about shadow work, and about using shadow work to heal the subconscious.  This is where the spiritual path comes into the equation, because when you work on your inner self, it influences how you see the future and how you confront it and plan for it.  There is a need, though, to have a support system in place when you are doing shadow work, as it can quickly become overwhelming without a strong support system of loved ones there to help keep you from sinking too deeply into the work and doing more harm than good.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What kindness do I need to gift myself with?

Pride TarotReading Summary: Taking things slow does not mean that you’re not in control (Knight of Pentacles), it just means that you need some time for yourself (The Hermit) and you’ll get there when you get there (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Make the world move at your pace, instead of allowing it to dictate yours.   This is something I’ve sort of lost sight of over the years I’ve been growing my business. This used to be my standard mode of operation.

When I started my business, though, the pressure and stress and added responsibilities sort of welled up and drowned out that slower pace and easy energy.  It seems like it might be time to start exploring this again, though.  Maybe that is what is lacking in my efforts to slow down.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, what should I take to heart about being myself?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Sometimes it can feel really risky (Ace of Pentacles) to put yourself out there (Ace of Cups), but you’re strong and capable and able to connect with others (Three of Pentacles). That connection is very rarely an emotional one, but on other levels (Again, Three of Pentacles combined with Ace of Pentacles being on top). So don’t get disheartened (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  Ok so the question here that’s posed in the answer that these cards give is… do I really want to have a more emotional connection with people?  Or am I happy in connecting with them in the way that I already do?

I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty damned emotionally fulfilled in my life.  Gideon does a very good job of making sure I’m emotionally happy and healthy and contented.  So I guess the answer is that I need to stop looking at the ways that I do connect with others as less-than just because I connect to them in a different way and on a different level than most.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WAY

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me joy?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary: Removing myself from my uncomfortable situation (Five of Cups) so that I can own my life and my destiny (Queen of Wands) and turning that into something of value (Nine of Pentacles).

Side note: This deck really loves to hand me the Nine of Pentacles. It’s like a deck-specific stalker card, which is really interesting because usually stalker cards carry across multiple decks for me when they show up.

Take Away:  Emancipation. I wouldn’t have really considered the emotion I feel when I think on these things as joy, but definitely happiness.  When I emancipated from my parents, there was a sense of elation and hope that came with it. The independence and power of having my future in my own hands was like a breath of fresh air, and what I have done with those gifts is a source of pride for me.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_0068Exhaustion

like a raw wound
that only sleep
can soothe
scratchy
achy
a grumpy mess
lie down
take a breath
and
finally… relief.

After my week off there were more orders to get through than I was prepared from.  In order to get them out today as I needed to, it required an all-nighter.  I finally finished making the jewelry around 2am… and packaged orders from 2:30am to 7am.

Everything’s done.  Everything’s shipped…. but goddamn I’m tired.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography