Today’s meditation was skipped.

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@FatMumSlim August #FMSPAD Challenge
Prompt for August 19th : On the Wall | #FMS_ONTHEWALL25

Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

As a child, my father said some horrible things to me in the effort to mould me into his expectations. Nothing hurt and triggered me worse, though, than  being called lazy or stupid.

When he used these words to break me, it cut deep and I would feel as if there were actual bleeding wounds inside of me. I learned early to hide this from him, but in order to purge myself of the intensity of pain I was feeling, I would take a dry erase marker to the mirror in the privacy of the bathroom. There, I would write on the mirror “I’m not stupid “or “I’m not lazy” again and again until the intensity of the pain eased. (I would then, of course, erase the evidence before leaving the bathroom.)

Somewhere along the line as I grew a bit older, I lost the ability to connect with my emotions, and this practice stopped.

In the present, I am learning to reconnect with my emotions, and it’s often confusing and intense. Today’s FatMumSlim prompt and card combo inspired me to wonder if writing is the answer to making sense of them, in the same way that it was the answer to comforting myself as a child.

I might have to try it out and see, even if all I’m writing at the time is “I am not _____” or “I am _____”.

Today’s message is a reminder that emotions, especially new ones, are often intense and confusing. That doesn’t mean we should tuck them away and ignore them, but rather that we need to let them flow and explore them with the tools at our disposal that will help us deal with them in healthy ways.

DECK USED:  SAMBUCUS RWS TAROT

@Lionharts #TheAugustTarot Leo Season Challenge
Knight of Wands – Drive Bonus Prompts for August

Where is my passion leading me right now?

Transmutation – You’ve recently discovered how acts of grounding can positively impact your anxiety and emotions. Simply by writing down a possible plan of action instead of allowing it to create a cacophony in your head as you try to remember it all created an entirely new outlook and attitude. This can work for other things as well. It’s just a matter of finding the tools available to you and figuring out which ones work for the situation at hand.

What bold action is mine to take today?

Walk Your Path – If something doesn’t work for you? Say so. Buck the system in preference for your own path. Remember that just because expectations are there doesn’t mean it’s your job to fulfill them.

How can I fully commit to the thrill of the pursuit?

Separation – Let go of your ego, self-judgments, and fears. There’s no place for insecurities here, so step into new pursuits with confidence.

Other elements included in this reading:
Foraged Red Oak Leaf for Fostering Unconditional Love
Foraged Scallop Shell for Opening Up to Emotional Wisdom
Carnelian Agate for Inner Drive and Focusing On One’s Aspirations
Desert Rose for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED: THE SHAMAN’S WAY ORACLE

I got myself some cuddles in with Miss Luna today.