Tarot Self-Portrait

My Entry for the Your Tarot Self-Portrait Challenge.
Just sneaking under the cut-off with only two days left to enter!

001

I have to watch out for the Gloominous Doom
As he likes to visit with his pit of gloom
My nearest and dearest know what to do
I depend on them to steer me true
[Faeries Oracle – Gloominous Doom]
One of the biggest recurring challenges of my life has been my depression. I had my first Major Depressive Episode at the age of fourteen and have had a number of them since. When not in an episode I deal with long-term dysthymia. I depend on my loved ones, and especially Gideon, to help me in keeping track of my mood levels and helping me identify when I appear to be slipping into that pit of a depressive episode as well as help me in finding my way back out of it again.

A survivor, I am
I fight the good fight
There is no swerving from battles or strife
Determination
Is how I confront the struggles in life
[Stolen Child Tarot – Five of Wands]
I am strong and determined. I don’t allow others to push me around or allow them to sway me from what I know is right… and what I know is mine. This card’s imagery is about determination and empowerment to me, and it speaks to that strength within me that demands that I stand strong and demand the best from myself and that others “toe the line” where I am concerned or pay the consequences.

002

Grounded and sure footed
I am who I am
My moral compass and inner voice
Guide me true
Again and again
[Earth Power Oracle – Magnetic North Pole]
I live my life by the guidance given by my moral compass and my intuition. Both of these aspects work together and speak to me through an inner “voice” that is never wrong. I have spent my life learning to better trust myself and that voice, and in doing so have become more and more grounded, and more and more sure of who I am and comfortable within my own skin. I know my weaknesses and my strengths, and am happy to share the lessons I have learned to help others find their own direction as well.

Sometimes this means
Putting on a fierce face
and plowing through obstacles
no matter the pain or the pace
[Tarot of the Hidden Realm – Ten of Swords]
My history is filled with obstacles and accidents, painful moments and instances that could easily be considered moments of victimization. Instead of allowing these moments or the residual effects of those moments to drag me down, I face these experiences with a snarl of force and determination, knowing that each of these experiences are going to hurt… but if I face them head on I will make it to the other side, having survived and ready to move on.

003

I juggle a lot
and I’m busy as a bee
Responsibilities require balance
that I appear to manage with ease
[Hush Tarot – Two of Pentacles]
I started adulthood at 16 when I emancipated from my parents, and signed a mortgage at 19. I have spent the majority of my adult life juggling at least four part time jobs and a home business, as well as sustaining a healthy relationship with my twin sister, a long-distance high-demand relationship with my partner Gideon, and a close friendship with my best friend. There is also self care, of which there is an excessive amount because of the need for daily physical therapy and occasional recreation, my spiritual path and my tarot practice. Most people would never guess that I juggle so much, or carry so much responsibility. I shoulder it all. I balance it all. The key to balance in life? Is flexibility. Scales are not still and stagnant. They sway… and like those scales, in order to balance life’s responsibilities we too must sway and constantly adjust.

In truth, though,
Life’s not about balance or battles
Life is about adaptability
Perspectives
And learning from the trials
[Wayhome Tarot – The Hanged Man]
I see the struggle and strife and trials I have gone through, as well as those things I will go through in the future, as learning experiences. They have allowed me to see things differently, and changed my perspectives over time. Whether it is the chronic, constant pain or being the victim of a crime, there is a benefit and a lesson to each experience if I am open to seeking it out and taking that new, different perspective in. Every different perspective I find changes me in some small way, opening me up to something new and giving me more… more understanding… more empathy… and more knowledge with which to navigate the world and relate to those within it.

CHALLENGE HOSTED BY TAROTHOLICS ON DISCORD

 

Family

Today’s meditation was 10 minutes long, and focused on letting go of those things that are not working for you so that you can make room for new ideas and processes that will.

The guided meditations spoke on how changing seasons can be a good time to help in this process, as you can sync up your release of bad habits and other behaviors and time with the fall, and will come in new behaviors that will work better for you in the spring.

This is very similar to how I work with the moons phases, where the waxing moon between the full moon and the next new moon would be considered the time for release and correspond to autumn.

Today’s draw is the Ten of Cups, Which is a representation of the ending of a cycle, regeneration, and renewal in the area of the emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition. My sister calls this card the “happy family card”, because in many ways it represents that atmosphere with a focus on the bounty that you have in your emotional life. It is, essentially, the “all my Cups are full and life is good” card.

The appearance of this car today is a reminder that as much as there may be discord and disagreements and mistreatment and even abuse, the people that I am visiting right now are family. They might suck… but they are my family, and with all their flaws there is still value in that.

It might be something that you have to dig for to see, and really search for in order to find.… but it could be worse too, and has been in the past.

Deck Used: Morgan Greer Tarot in a Tin

Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot 2019 (Part 6)

hermit

Okay! It’s time for another installment of Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot challenge.

  1. What cards relate to you personally. NOT just your astrology association or court cards.
    I skipped this question last time, because I struggled with it a bit. That is because I relate to all of the “pip” cards in the deck. That is the whole point of the tarot’s minor arcana, actually, and especially in the case of the pips. So, I guess if I had to choose just one that I relate to the most, it would be the Two of Pentacles. In relation to me personally, it is all about the juggling of responsibilities, wants, needs, goals, home, work, etc. It’s that constant, never ending effort towards balance.
  1. What Tarot deck do you wish you could get into or vibe with but just can’t and why? (this is not an opportunity to deck or deck creator bash it is more about how we all work with different decks and like different things.)
    Marseilles decks. Which is odd, because I read playing cards just fine, and I love historical style decks. I love the aesthetic of Marseilles style decks as well, and yet for some reason I have a really difficult time connecting with them.
  2. How do you pick your Tarot decks for readings?
    I find that certain decks are “workhorse” decks, and are good at just about everything. But, I have found that in most cases, some decks just ‘read’ better at one or two things. It comes down to the the feeling that each deck has a tone and a voice that is uniquely theirs. You wouldn’t want someone snarking comforting words at you… and you wouldn’t enjoy a soft comforting voice when what you really need is someone smacking you upside the head to light a fire under your ass. It’s like that.
  3. What is your ‘go-to’ Tarot book and why?
    You know… this used to be 78 Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack, but ever since I’ve started using the Tarot of the Hidden Realm, I’ve begun using that guidebook (Journey Into the Hidden Realm by Barbara Moore) to add new, interesting perspectives on different decks.
  4. How do you feel about Tarot deck modification? Do you draw on your decks? Trim the borders or is it a no go for you and why?
    I think this is pretty obvious from other posts on this blog, but I’m all for it. I don’t alter all my decks, but sometimes it helps me in connecting to a deck. For me, the modifications I do are primarily edging decks to make them feel a bit more “finished”, and trimming decks if the borders are distracting (or detracting) from the artwork or message. There have been a few decks I’ve chosen to trim as well, simply because they were too damn big. Usually, though? There’s other compounding factors involved that bring me to that decision.
  5. Do you carry out predictive Tarot readings? Yes, no, why?
    Yes, and no. I do occasionally read predictively, with the caveat that nothing in the future is ever written in stone until it has come to pass. So anything predictive that I might see in the cards is more about trajectories and energy flow than actual set-in-stone.
  6. What question/s do you most often ask the Tarot? (for yourself and for others)
    My daily pull is a request for “a positive message to carry with me throughout the day and provide perspective”. That is the exact wording of the query. Another question I often ask is along the lines of “what do I need to focus on in the ______ ahead?” The time frame changes, as does whether it’s a time frame, an event, or an occasion. Back when I read for others, the most common questions had to do with love and relationships, as my observation is that most people seeking the advice of a reader on this topic are either lonely, or miserable.

And that’s all 31 questions! Tada! This post is Part 6, and the final installment for Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot challenge. Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5 for easy reference.

I’ll be starting another quiz very soon. They do a lot of them on YouTube, and although I don’t make videos, I do like the whole “quiz” and “getting to know you” aspect of participating here on my blog.

Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot 2019 (Part 5)

Tarot cards mystical  background. Senior card lovers.

Returning again today to Ethony’s 31 Days of Tarot challenge.   I’m having a bit of trouble with question #18, so I’m going to skip it for the moment, and move on to the next, then revisit the one I’m struggling with at a later date.

  1. If you were shipwrecked on an desert island, which five tarot or oracle decks would you want to have with you and why.
    Well, the Tarot of the Hidden Realm is a given. The way I connected with that deck is just remarkable and I wouldn’t want to leave it behind.
    My very newly modified Sacred Circle Tarot, as well, is now (after the modifications) one that I’ve found myself really connected to and would like to bring along.
    Any one of my “classic” Waite/Smith decks (Radiant Rider Waite, Universal Waite, Original Rider, Smith-Waite Centennial) because the versatility is a must.
    The Blue Owl Lenormand because of our history and familiarity (using this deck is just like coming home).
    And… hm. The Roots and Wings Oracle, I think. It’s pretty new to my collection, but it works well with every deck that I’ve paired it with thus far.
  2. What is your favorite Tarot Spread at the moment?
    I just recently did a re-create on my deck interview spread, and I’m very happy with it. It’s a nine-card spread with room for jumper cards to add additional input when they show up. I’m so happy with it, in fact, that I’ve recently begun the process of re-interviewing all my decks. This, of course, is going to take a good deal of time.
  3. Do you use the Tarot for mediumship readings? Why or why not? If no, would you like to?
    No. I’m very much of the mind that this isn’t the kind of thing I would like to open myself up to, even with a intermediary (the cards) there as a buffer. Whether or not I even have the ability is not something I have an interest in exploring.
  4. Where is one place in the world you would love to read the Tarot and why? It could be a sacred site, event, mystical shop, anything.
    I never really thought of tarot as a travel companion for reasons explained in my previous post. My answer to this would be in the depths of the Olympic Rainforest… in the rain. Obviously, tarot cards are not water proof so that would be a bad idea, although I did recently find a couple decks that are so it may be a possibility in the future.
  5. What is your most sassy Tarot deck, what is your most gentle Tarot deck? Why did you pick these decks?
    My Eight Coins Tattoo Tarot has a mouth on her. She’s very blunt and snippy, and very picky about how she’s used. For the most gentle deck, it’s a tie between the Mesquite Tarot and the MoonChild Tarot. Both are equally gentle, but the moon child is a better communicator where as the Mesquite has more of a “shy” voice. The gentlest deck I’ve ever handled, though, isn’t a part of my collection. It belongs to my sister. That would be the Soul Cards Tarot.
  6. What Tarot card do you feel is the most misunderstood and why?
    I imagine my answer is pretty standard for most tarot readers, but it’s the Death card. It seems whenever it comes up people that are unfamiliar with the tarot always immediately have that “oh shit” reaction. The death card is so much more about organic change than some horrible omen from beyond, but you can’t convince a lot of people of that it seems.
    Another, I’ve found, is the Tower card. This one, a lot of people even familiar with seem to not fully appreciate the Tower. It’s not all doom and gloom, and much good can come from the chaos the card indicates. I see people often given pause, though, when it appears. As if its presence jerks them out of their flow.
  7. Do you have any Tarot self-care rituals that are only for your personal practice?
    Yes. I have a Saturday check-in spread that I do each week to help in reconnecting myself to… myself. It includes ritual bathing and meditation, followed by a time bonding with the deck I’m using at the moment and then drawing the spread and journaling it afterward.

So far, this is Part 5 of the series. Here is Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 for easy reference.

I’ll make another post in a few days to continue on with more questions in the challenge.