Shades of Summer
Vibrant colors
splashed with light
summer’s bounty
shining bright
purples sway
and green abounds
filling senses
with buzzing sounds.
The bees are heavy this year. I visit this park often in the summer because they have the most beautiful lavender beds and a public garden that, even with social distancing measures, still thrives and is well tended.
The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s look at the flip side: fulfillment, gratitude, and joy. Did you know that one of biggest tools against burnout and stress is gratitude? (You know, apart from needed mental health treatment and care.)”
Where in my life am I experiencing fulfillment?
Ten of Spades
I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself lately. It’s about that whole “survival” thing. The fact that I have been through so much, dealt with so many devastating hurdles, and not just survived them but thrived in their wake. Remembering this gives me confidence, and a feeling of fulfillment that comes from a sense of accomplishment.
What is something in my life this year that I’m grateful for?
Nine of Diamonds
See, the thing is? Even though the pandemic has sucked ass, and even though I lost all but one of my part time jobs for a good part of the spring and summer… and have only really picked back up half the work load (working for others) that I had pre-pandemic? I have been able to adjust my finances to take the brunt of these changes without damaging anything other than the amount of time it will take to pay off my mortgage.
Yes, I want it paid off… but I’m relieved to have spent so much time busting my ass to pay the highest amount possible per payment because it prepared me for what’s going on now… when I need to pay less. Because of this, my situation is still stable… and I’m so grateful for that.
What is something in my life this year that brings me joy?
Seven of Clubs
I’m kickin’ ass, baby. Building off the previous question in a way, what has brought me (and brings me) joy this year is that I have been able to support not just my lifestyle and those that I love with my efforts, but also continue to keep my business thriving during this time when so much has swung out of sync and is not the norm.
What is something in my life this year that I am succeeding at?
Six of Spades
I am succeeding at finding a better way. A new path. It has taken a good part of this year to work through the psychological process of letting go of how I have done things in the past. It’s a struggle not to push myself beyond my limits, and actually allow myself the healing rest and recuperation I need. Walking away from that highly abusive dynamic I had going on previously is not an easy task, not a quick one. But I am succeeding at it, one step at a time.
Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place in the bath tub. It was so… so comfortable but at least I didn’t fall asleep this time. I very much enjoyed the relaxation in the water for once, though. Usually I find the tub just uncomfortable enough that I can’t meditate, but today? It was just right and super comfortable. Interestingly? I also find it harder to stay awake as the water gets cooler. When it’s really warm? I’m wide awake, but the closer it gets to lukewarm? The more dozy I become.
Today’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of controlled progress, and the willpower and determination to go in the direction you want to go in and see things through.
These cards (the Botan Tarot) are so damned beautiful and what stands out to me the strongest in this card today is the hint of wings present in the background behind the figure that is holding the reigns.
What these wings do for me is soften the card. I often find the Chariot card quite harsh, and yet in this imagery I see willpower tempered by compassion, determination with a touch of restraint, as the wings are spread and thus they are catching air and creating drag. If this card were in motion, I would imagine those wings would not just catch the air but feel as if they billow with it as feathers flutter in the swirling eddies of air currents.
The message here is that it’s all well and good to know where you want to go and have the willpower and determination to get you there, but it’s important to remember that sometimes? Getting there takes time. Not because you’re forced to go slow, but because you choose to slow down to savor the journey rather than focusing on the end goal alone.
#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my root chakra? (Deals with energy, stability, comfort, and safety.)
Reading Summary: I need to work on finding a deeper level of inner certainty (High Priestess) even in times when my life is in a state of flux (The Wheel). The Queen of Clubs looks on at this message as if to say that by finding this inner certainty I can then flourish more fully in the endeavors that keep my spark aflame.
Take Away: Unfortunately, outer uncertainty in my life breeds inner uncertainties about myself. That means that when things go wrong? I don’t just start blaming myself, but also doubting myself.
That inner uncertainty about myself then creates a lack of motivation that keeps at bay the energy of the Queen’s nurturing of my inner spark. This is where a good part of my moments of “meh” come from, and when I feel those moments, I need to take time to observe where the uncertainty in my life lies in that moment, and explore how its influencing my confidence as well as my motivation.
#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Create / Evoke / Balance
Create – Five of Cups – Burnt offerings in a sea of salt. Its time to make more eggshell powder. The last batch that Id made has lasted for quite some time, but I’ve been needing to make more for a while and keep putting it off. I should get it done before things become so busy that it has to be put off until the New Year.
Evoke – Two of Wands – I get absolutely no intuitive hit off of the imagery in this card. So, going by the bare bones of the RWS system… it’s time to start planning for the holiday season. I’ve been putting it off, to be honest. Dragging my feet and trying to just… I dunno. Deny it’s coming? But the fact is that it is coming, and I’m going to have to get on the ball and get my direction not just meticulously planned out but set in motion. You can’t get moving until you start get moving.
Balance – Nine of Cups – You know that phrase “too much of a good thing”? Well that goes for everything, including emotional fulfillment and happy feelings. It’s important to make sure I’m not pushing myself to the point of insincerity. Working to see the bright side and lean into optimism is one thing, but to the point where it’s fake and just a load of shit? Too much. Pay attention to my emotions and how I’m feeling, and be honest with myself about that even when it’d be easier to just put on a happy face and keep moving.
Side Note About This Deck – It’s gotta go. I don’t get good vibes from the artwork at all. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it, but it’s definitely not for me. This is my first reading with this deck, which was added to my collection very recently…. and it’ll be my last. It just doesn’t feel right.
Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: A reminder of my personal wealth or personal blessing.
Reading Summary: The ability to sit out (Eight of Cups) on the battles I need to (Strength Rx) and support others instead instead of engaging (Queen of Pentacles).
Take Away: I have gotten the message “choose your battles wisely” more than once from the cards over the past week. And here again is that reminder, as the personal blessing that this reading speaks about is my ability to choose my battles.
A lot of times, the battles we fight are not our own, and that is true in my case as well. There is an encouragement here that it’s okay to not get involved in other’s battles, and to support others from the sidelines instead of diving into the battle myself.
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I build my confidence?
Reading Summary: Take time (Temperance) to really explore in depth (Page of Swords) the opportunities available to me (Ace of Pentacles).
Take Away: I’m missing something. Not in this reading. I mean that the cards are indicating that I’m missing some key factor in the opportunities currently available to me that could ease my discomfort with uncertainty and boost my confidence.
It’s time to take stock and make some decisions on what I want to happen and where I want things to go. I always feel better when I have a direction, but on top of that I need to also find a way to become more comfortable with uncertainty. This was also mentioned in an earlier reading today and has carried over into this one.
Parched
Clouds roll in
and yet no rain
I cannot wait
the heat’s a drain
I miss the damp air
slick skin feel
of working outside
soaked through
and chilled.
Today’s prompt is brought to you by one of the Discord servers that I am a member of. Just as a side note… the reason I do not link these Discord servers is because each server has their own rules about if you’re allowed to share them publicly and how, and it’s a pain in the ass to look it up for each one so I just don’t share them.
On to the question… “How do you ground?”
Okay, so first I think I need to do a quick explanation of what grounding and centering are.
Centering – Bringing in your energy “to center” (usually the solar plexus, gut, or chest. When you are feeling chaotic and like everything is out of control, your energy is often zinging all over the place all crazy and wild. Centering is essentially the control of that energy and the “condensing of it” down to a calm, close ball. This assists greatly in calming down and is the base premise behind the “take a deep breath” when you’re feeling chaotic. It is also a necessary skill in energy work and spellcraft, because you have to make that energy you hold into something solid and manageable (as opposed to chaotic and frazzled) in order to utilize it in your workings.
Grounding – Grounding is now giving that centered energy a steady foundation. Like the roots of a tree allow it to stay still and stand tall and strong without falling over, giving your centered energy a grounded base allows it to stay calm and steady even during surprise turbulence or chaotic surroundings.
The ways in which I personally ground come in a variety of different yet similar guises.
My most common method is through the touching of soil or connecting to soil in some manner.
I have houseplants all over my house, I work at a farm in the mornings, plants on my balcony, and am an avid hiker. I touch soil throughout my day every day and my connection to the earth element gives me grounding through that touch.
When I am upset, I often go tend to my plants on the balcony where I can get fresh air and a good dose of plants and soil at the same time.
The most powerful way in which I ground is nekkid in the woods. When I need a hard set grounding and re-balancing, I hike out into the rainforest and get nekkid and lie down on my back on the forest floor. I meditate there and spend time visualizing roots growing from every place my body touches the ground and tunneling deep into the earth, branching out and digging deeper as they spread wide under the soil and tangle with the roots of the trees. I then allow my energy to expand outward through my front and fill the air, stretch and expand with no “bubble” of space to contain it. (I then, of course, retract first one, then the other, when I’m done.)
When I need a quick grounding that goes beyond just a touch of soil, I do a similar meditation standing up, except because this is usually done in public or other spaces, of course I’m dressed, and the network of roots is not so extensive, nor is the stretch of my energy so expansive. In this style, it’s very similar to the “tree meditation” in that the roots grow from your feet, your body is the trunk, and the stretch of your energy is the branches and leaves above.
Mentioned above are my common methods of grounding, but there is one more method that I use on occasion.
When I am dealing with depression, I also spend time lying on my side in the bottom of the bathtub with the shower raining down on me, watching the water drops slide down the side of the tub’s wall.
Although there is an element of grounding to this particular practice, I would not consider this to be classified as grounding specifically. Rather, it is a form of meditation that feels like a balm upon the soul when I am feeling emotionally or spiritually overwhelmed.
Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and I nearly fell asleep there at the end. I was just so comfortable and the temperature was just right… it was hard to drag my ass up to get working. And on that note, I promise that when I soak in the tub on Saturday (or maybe tomorrow), that I won’t nap in there. I’ll be careful.
Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotionally disconnecting and/or walking away. This type of withdrawal or abandonment is usually created through a sense of disappointment, although other emotions are also able to be at play in bringing this card’s theme to the forefront.
What stands out to me in this card is the Fae girl in the lower left corner and the fact that she is pulling on (or off) a hood/headdress that had her concealed as a blackbird. This brought to mind the phrase “a wolf in sheep’s clothing”, which then had me wondering… who is she hiding from? What is it she hides from? What has she need to retreat from or distance herself from that she has to conceal herself under the cloak of feathers?
And there is the message in today’s card. It’s time to look at what I am avoiding. What am I trying to distance myself from in life, and why haven’t I cut the ties entirely instead of trying to hide and avoid? I don’t have the answers to this right now, but it’s something that needs to be mulled over.
#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: Where do I need to bring light in?
Reading Summary: Your mental dialogue (skull imagery in the Ace of Swords) and inner process is to conflicted (Five of Wands). Your bad habits are blinding you (Eight of Swords) to the good.
Take Away: You need to be nicer to yourself and open your eyes to the positive instead of always settling on the negative and pessimistic views that are your habit. This applies to both your inner dialogue with yourself, as well as your outlook on the world at large. The pessimism and negativity is creeping in. Be aware of it and deal with it… don’t just turn a blind eye and let it grow.
Oh…. shit. And there’s the answer to what I’m avoiding from my COTD today.
#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What projects and energies am I taking with me into Autumn?
Reading Summary: New emotional growth (Ace of Cups)… growth by keeping the past in its place (Six of Cups under Death) instead of allowing it free reign. Fostering my relationships through connecting with those important to me (Two of Cups).
The Wisteria and Peridot card is an indication of hope and positive inspiration on an emotional level. It speaks of my emotional growth not being over, but still being in the budding stages. I love the combination peridot and wisteria in this card because it feels so hopeful and positive.
In the Adder Stone and Clover, we see the energies of childhood experience, enchantment, and curiosity. With the card that sits atop this card being what it is (will cover that in a moment) what I see in this card is a reference to my childhood.
The Aragonite and Ghost Pipe card pins the childhood reference in place on the table. It holds it down and keeps it in its place. Both aragonite and ghost pipe are highly unusual in how they appear in the world. They speak of life rising from what one would think as inhospitable environments, and beauty formed through organic growth.
Lastly we come to the Amazonite and Forget-Me-Nots (Myotosis). There is a harmony to the Amazonite, which in this card is features in a cluster combined with Smoky Quartz. The Myotosis then lends a gentle warmth to the representation of coexistence and mutual growth.
Take Away: My emotional growth will continue through the Autumn months and, unlike last year, I need to make sure to keep my past in the past. That means not allowing father issues to rise up as the veil gets thinner late next month. Depending on Gideon and others that I have a close emotional connection with can help me in keeping things in balance.
Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: In what direction am I being asked to personally grow starting this month?
Reading Summary: There’s going to be a sudden collapse and shift in direction over this month concerning my personal growth (Three of Staves under the Tower). Remember that new beginnings (Ace of Coins) sometimes take a good deal of time to grow into anything of value, but the wait is worth it (Seven of Coins).
Take Away: This is about my emotional growth, and having to change gears abruptly into the whole business aspect of things. There will be a moment of frustration involved in the kicking off of this new perspective where income is concerned. This is to be expected and happens every year. Patience is important. Just keep plugging away at it and soon you’ll be reaping the rewards.
(Then later on after the holiday rush is over, you can return to the emotional growth that has been your focus for so much of this year to date.)
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:What do I need in order to create success?
Reading Summary: Nurturing strength and dignity (Empress/Eagle) combined with a passionate pursuit of dreams (Queen of Clubs/Longhorn Beetle) and an unrelenting foundational strength (Queen of Diamonds/Lion).
Take Away: In order to create success, I need to feel that I have a good foundation and nurturing energy to encourage me into following my dreams. And of course, I need those dreams themselves as well, and the strength to accept and go after them regardless of how silly or impractical that they may seem. Manifesting success is about making the impossible possible through intention, vision, and determination.
Twisting the Leaf 