Today’s meditation was skipped… again.

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The @GlitterbyInk #FebYOUary26 Moments & Memories Challenge
Prompt for February 12th : Grief
Daily Mental Health Prompt: Seek a positive message to carry with you throughout the day and offer perspective.

Today’s draw is The Hierophant card, which is traditionally a representation of traditions, spiritual guidance, long standing institutions, teachers and guides, and themes that deal with conformity and social norms.

Seek help when grief feels heavy.

Over the past few years, I have watched a very close friend going through her grief over losing her husband of 40 years. Sometimes it feels like she has made no progress at all. Her depression lingers and she seems to vacillate between a loss of will to live and anger.

I can’t help but wonder; if she hadn’t rejected all efforts to try and help her through her grief, would she be in a better place right now? I think she would.

And yet, convincing her to go speak with someone qualified to help her in this area is impossible. It doesn’t matter that she knows that I go for depression and has seen how much therapy has helped me. It doesn’t matter that I take medication and she has seen how much that has helped me too. Her refusal isn’t even finance related, as her insurance would cover 100% of her visits. She doesn’t want the help, as if she’s punishing herself over and over again every day.

It hurts those around her, but instead of that spurring her into getting help, she just writes that off as one more reason that she shouldn’t be alive anymore.

The message in today’s cards is that there are people that can help you with your grief, and if you have the opportunity or ability to use them, please do so. They really can help if you’re willing to reach out to them.

I also need to hear to this message, because I am struggling under the grief that came with the shift in my business last Fall, and with it a loss of stability that I had in my life which is no longer there.

DECK USED: TAROT FROM THE WORLD BEHIND THE VEIL

One Card Tarot Journal Activity by @mariasofia_astro
Chapter 2 | Entry 4 – Love and Relationships
Affirmation : “I seek relationships where I feel seen without judgment.”
Prompt : Think about a belief or situation where you feel unfairly criticize or misunderstood. What is something you wish others knew about you? Draw a card to guide your reflection on this and consider how you can better communicate this to others in your life.

What feelings came up when I pulled this card?

I felt that brief millisecond of confusion that indicates this card and its answer are of the “it’s a thinker” variety, instead of something that just pops in into my awareness through intuition.

What elements of the card’s meaning resonate with me and this prompt?

The “situation” I chose for this prompt was the topic of my deck collection, and how when people discover the size of my collection, I get a huge array of different reactions in response.

The Moon card is all about uncertainty and illusion. Its appearance made me question why I should feel uncertainty in this area. I’m not denying that I do, I just don’t understand why.

It turns out, after some time to consider, that the uncertainty isn’t focused so much on my collection at all, which I enjoy immensely, but rather on other people’s opinions and/or my perception of their opinions or judgements.

Am I perceiving judgments from others where there aren’t any? Why would that even matter?

What in the artwork spoke to me?

They’re all cats. The Moon, the one that emerges from the water (which is usually a crustacean), the calico on the left and the black cat on the right. All cats. This speaks to me of all of us being human. That means that there is no pat answer or opinion, because everybody has their own reactions from admiration to envy, from wonder to disgust.

There is no one answer, and there is no right answer. Just as all of us in humanity are diverse, so too will be the reactions to my collection of decks.

My prompt response and reflections.

I struggle with how to behave in social situations, primarily because my life is a child was so isolated from society, and my introverted nature meant that continued to be the case as I grew up and became an adult. This means that sometimes I have to look to others in order to figure out what a proper response is or what “correct” behavior is. This is a part of my learning journey when it comes to my emotions, because all of the uncertainty in this area is wrapped up in my emotions.

Because I look to others for cues on how to behave in social situations, sometimes I put too much weight into places it doesn’t belong… like their personal opinion concerning things that shouldn’t matter to them.

My collection is fucking magnificent. I enjoy it a great deal. I shouldn’t have to make excuses for it, even if other people seem to want me to at times or that little kid inside me seeking approval says I do. That validation and approval needs to come from within myself, not from others who, if they are judging me harshly based on my collection, clearly don’t have the same values as I do in the first place.

Other elements included in this reading:
Green Aventurine D20 and D6 Gemstone Dice

DECK USED: NEKO ATSUME TAROT

@ambitiouslyalexa’s February Journal Prompts
Prompt for February 12th

How I show care to myself

Knight of Coins, Toppashin, The Chariot – You slow down to take things at a slower pace, while leaning upon the guidance of others to help keep you on track.

This is a new practice that you’ve been working on over the past year, as well as accepting that that slower pace (as well as asking for help) is okay.

How I can improve in this area

Three of Coins, Ten no Kami, Justice – Keep in mind that helping you helps them turn, so by allowing them to help more you are creating a greater balance between you and them; not (as it sometimes feels like) accruing a debt.

There is no give or take, only togetherness created through mutual caring and sharing in each other’s needs, burdens, and desires.

Other elements included in this reading:
Dried Rosebuds for Potential and Beauty Waiting to Unfold
Gneiss Stone for Patience in Moments of Discomfort
Selenite for Purification and drawing in Positive Energy

DECK USED: TAROT FROM THE WORLD BEHIND THE VEIL AND JAPANESE GODS & SPIRITS ORACLE

I worked on catching up on blog posts today. I’ve fallen behind over the past week. (Essentially? This means that I took the photos and sometimes even edited them, did the readings, took the notes… but haven’t proofread/fleshed out the results into anything that anyone other than I could read and understand.)