Today’s meditation was skipped.
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Today’s draw is the Cacao card combined with the affirmation “You will survive this.”
You have over-indulged in hedonistic pursuits and are currently paying the price with the mother of all subdrops. This is what happens when you don’t allow the first drop to finish before dipping your toe in the pool again and overlapping a second drop over the first.
Remember that this is a part of the journey you willingly accept as a part of the pleasures that came before. Don’t forget that it’s temporary. Things will balance back out again soon. You will, in fact, survive this.
DECK USED: APOTHECARY SPIRITS ORACLE AND IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY 2024 DAY-TO-DAY CALENDAR BY KATE ALLAN
@mercurytarot #SensualSeptemberTarot Challenge
Questions for September 11th thru 13th and 16th
Which role(s) do I feel more naturally drawn to? (Dominant/Submissive/Switch/Brat/etc)
Plantain – The sadist in need of a healing touch.
Lemon – The pessimist in need of an uplift.
Juniper – The truth teller that helps others awaken to reality and assess their values.
What energies would match me well?
Damiana – You enjoy being chased and desired.
(This is often reflected in the stories I write with Gideon during our interactive writing roleplay.)
Marshmallow – You need a sense of security and safety with your partner in order to thrive in your relationship.
Wisteria – Tying into the previous card, you need a place where you can safely be vulnerable and “small”.
Which do I want to explore more?
Gentian Root – Take down activities. You enjoy the intensity and harsh brutality that is a part of these activities when trust is there to make them safe even while also violent.
Side Note: While I do enjoy and want to explore these more with Gideon, I’m also pretty fearful of the intensity of the subdrops that could follow.
How can I achieve this?
Reishi Mushroom – Commit to doing the self care you need instead of trying to push your subdrops away, bury them, or ignore them. You need support and even a bit of coddling during these times… even when your vulnerability triggers defense mechanisms that make you feel the need to pull away, run, and/or hide.
DECK USED: APOTHECARY SPIRITS ORACLE
I reached out to Gideon today to help in easing the subdrop I’m currently experiencing.
Twisting the Leaf 
Having a little time together seems to have helped a great deal, yeah?Just try to remember that it’s always worse when you try to run and hide, babyboy. I know it’s a defense mechanism, but I can’t help you if you won’t allow me to…I tried that and it just doesn’t work unless you’re willing to accept that comfort. I’m glad you came around, my love. And when you are ready for a take down, all you have to do is let me know….and be certain that you’re willing to accept the aftercare needed in such an intense drown.
(I’m also pretty sure that the fingers had something to do with the depth of the drop. The return to pleasure didn’t help(but god it was sweet) but I think it was the fingers that caused such a huge vulnerability. For whatever reason, my fingers drown you faster than even my intensity.)I love you, man. Always
All ways.
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