Month: August 2020

Time To Climb

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was a little over ten minutes long, and although it was a guided meditation, I got so far into the zone that I don’t think I heard a word of it.  It was very relaxing and was primarily focused on the selenite resting against my solar plexus, and the ebb and flow of my energy timed to match my breaths.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Four (Four of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of taking time to rest and recover, a restorative pause along your path, and can indicate a time of needed recuperation and healing.

I actually have a bit of difficulty with the imagery on this card.  Something about it hearkens back to the Lady Freda Harris artwork of the original Thoth deck, and although this card does not make me internally flinch the way the artwork in that other deck does?  It does create a feeling of discomfort. I’m pretty sure it has to do with the curved rays crisscrossing behind the sun?   I don’t know.  It’s uncomfortable.

That said… I do see the symbolism here in the figure in the center and the glowing sun.  The mountains and clouds.   And that actually does speak to me today.

The message here is a reminder that sometimes restoration and recovery isn’t about taking a nap or lying down, or resting the body at all.   Sometimes it’s about getting outside and connecting with nature, breathing in the fresh air and feeling the exertion of doing something you love that makes the body work and lungs strain.

It’s a reminder that I need to go for a hike this weekend.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What are my expectations of how my loved ones should support my healing?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: They should instinctively know what I need (The High Priestess), and come forward on their own to take on more responsibility and control (The Chariot) so that I don’t feel so overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  Well, that made me squirm a bit to admit. Okay so I guess I do sort of feel this way sometimes… even though I know that these expectations are ridiculous, and that I need to communicate what’s going on so that my loved ones know what I need and when I need it. As much as they want to help, they aren’t mind readers.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What accomplishment from this month deserves celebration?

Stunning TarotReading Summary: Choosing (Two of Swords) to work on my inner dynamic (The High Priestess) by focusing on the good in my life and what makes me happy (Nine of Cups), and prioritizing it  over the habitual urge to close myself off and bear down on my business (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Honestly, I hadn’t really felt like I had accomplished all that much this month. And then this reading made me realize that I might have something done something rather significant after all.  The fact that this is such a significant accomplishment is that it’s something I have never done before.  Something I never would have even considered okay to do.

But this year I’ve worked very hard to allow my emotional growth some free reign, and to give myself more slack than I’ve ever given myself before.  I’ve found myself trying to heal inner wounds I didn’t even realize existed and, in some cases, actually thought were positive traits.  Traits that I’ve come to realize are harmful.

This month I made it the entire month where every day I made a concerted effort to not push so hard or demand so much, but instead focus upon the things that make me happy and create positive emotional responses.  I’ve focused on not abusing myself, but instead fostering that internal need to do less, and enjoy more.    I think that’s pretty significant.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Topic: Give thought to all of your August lessons and draw a card.

Encore Tarot - Knight of Swords“Preparation paves the road” is the lesson that came to mind in relation to this month and that is the lesson I focused upon when pulling this card. The Knight of Swords here then signified the swift action that prior preparation and planning can encourage. It’s much easier to go after what you want and get the things done that you need to get done, when you’ve done the prep work first and everything is in order and ready for you.

Somewhere along the line I managed to forget this very valuable lesson. I have been saving all of my orders work to be done on certain days, and on other days I was just doing random crap that needed done. This might work when things are really slow… but it doesn’t work at all when you have a lot that needs to get done.  As the end of the month has approached, this lesson has become more and more apparent, and it’s time to start spreading my work out more, so that I’m not racing the clock so often or doing so many all-nighters on Mondays and Thursdays.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel without sadness/anger/disappointment?

Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Incomplete (Nine of Swords) and half blind (Eight of Swords) with very little motivation (Knight of Wands Rx).

Note:  Nine of Swords represents “incomplete” in this spread because the question is about cutting out everything that the Nine of Swords represents.  This makes its presence in the spread an outlier… on the edges alone and bleeding.

Take Away:  The fact is is that people need these negative emotions to help balance out the positive ones. Without that balance you cannot be whole and complete… nor can you grow, because you will be left blinded and unable to see due to half of the language the world uses teach you being silenced.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_2275Sunrise

early morning’s
shining light
crests the hills
turns dark
to bright
starting early
means darkness reigns
then shadows creep
and day begins

I love working on the farm during this time of year and through September.  It’s breathtaking to watch the sunlight begin to wash over the fields one increment at a time, warming the earth and rising a faint haze of mist into the air from the dew with each foot that the sunlight overtakes the shadow cast by the hillsides not all that far away.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Healthy Retreat vs. Bad Timing

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was an energy cleansing exercise using selenite and black tourmaline at the end for helping in closing things back up after.   It was very relaxing and went far more quickly than I thought it would.  I hadn’t actually set a timer, just the interval chimes for changing my piriformis positions.   It went well and was very relaxing.

Next World Tarot - The HermitToday’s draw is The Hermit card, which is traditionally a representation of retreating for self reflection and contemplation.  This isn’t about retreating to hide, but rather because sometimes when you are digging deep into yourself you need to do it away from others so that you can lower your defenses and get a clear look at what’s going on and the path to take forward.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the artwork of this card is the colors. The absolutely speak to me of being alone, but they don’t speak to me of the healing that is needed. It means that the imagery on this card today speaks to me not about alone time, but about retreat and closing off.

I feel like closing off today.  I feel like a bit of a failure today, and a disappointment. The thing is?  A little alone time or self reflection may be a good thing, but too much is unhealthy… as is bad timing. Now?  Is bad timing.  It’s not healthy to let these feelings fester and grow, and if I follow that urge to close off right now?  That’s exactly what will happen.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What can I do to prepare myself for obstacles along my healing journey?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure that I don’t allow my fears (Nine of Swords) to close me off from (The Hermit Rx) the emotional support and healing warmth that others have to offer (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  When I am feeling vulnerable, I find it extremely difficult to reach out to others, especially for comfort and emotional support.  This is not a healthy way to deal with things, and the cards here indicate that I need to not just keep in mind that there are people that want to support me, but that my healthiest and most healing option is to reach out to them and allow that support and comfort to wash over me.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Which is more real… mind or matter?

Vivid Journey TarotReading Summary: Matter carries on (Ten of Pentacles) long after the mind has passed on (The Fool), no matter the legacy we wish to leave behind (Queen of Wands).

Take Away:  Reincarnation is very much a part of my faith, and thus the Fool in this spread is a representation of rebirth.  And yet, in our rebirth, we do not automatically maintain the memories of our past lives and experiences. We must start anew.  This is why love and wisdom are shared while you are alive, and material possessions are passed on after death.   The continued existence of material items even after the death of the mind and moving on of the soul, therefore, makes material more real (in our human reality).

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Air, how should I begin to apply your teachings?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Work at looking at your work in a different way (Eight of Pentacles atop The Hanged Monster) and resting when you need it (Four of Swords). The emotional and inspirational connection will come back if you stick with it (Ace of Cups with Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The teachings referred to here have to do with yesterday’s reading about bringing emotions, pleasure, and joy back into my work.  The answer here is that it’s something that will come over time with a bit of determination, as long as I make sure to be mindful about instilling this more joyful perspective into my work and make sure I’m not allowing myself to become overburdened or burnt out by taking healing rest when needed.

When I am overburdened, I shut out the pleasure and joy and emotions… and bear down on the responsibility aspects.  To instill these tenants back into my work, it is important to avoid putting myself in situations where the urge to block out these things rises up.  Be aware, pay attention, and act with intention rather than reacting.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I get better at expressing my feelings without hurting others?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: Take a pause (Four of Pentacles). What would Gid do? (Knight of Cups) Approach as a friend (Three of Cups) and climb that hill slowly and carefully (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about moving slowly rather than just blurting out in a reactionary manner.  By taking a pause and actively looking to others who express their emotions in more socially accepted ways, I can then learn how to express my own better as well.

There is also a reminder here that I need to approach those that I’m trying to speak to about my feelings as a friend.  This is another skill that is something I’m learning, as my normal mode is not usually so… warm.   These are skills that take time to learn, but I am on that path.  I just need to remember not to get impatient and careless.  It’s not a sprint, but a long journey of growth.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_9863The Good Snooze

My little bit,
she sleeps so good
her snore is soft
and sweet.
In dreamland dance
she sleeps so deep
she doesn’t notice
even when
she bites her tongue.

And how the hell does she sleep like that and not drool?

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Weekly Creativity Prompt – The Queens

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Pull the Queens out of a deck of your choice. Consider… Do you have someone in your life that fits with one of these cards? Do you have people in your life that would fit with each of them? Then share that here and tell us about the connection you see between each Queen card and the person in your life it represents.

Luminous Void Tarot

Queen of Wands – Every day he wakes with a fire in his gut and purpose driving him forward.  He rushes into the office every day and finds his way to the desk where he meets with those that need help and hears their stories. He makes calls and helps them fill out paperwork.  He fights their battles because they are unable to fight those battles themselves, petitions courts and demands justice for those that would otherwise have none. He is an advocate for homeless youth, determined to save as many as he can… one one lost youth at a time.

Queen of Cups – Her laughter puts your soul at ease like a gentle balm on the senses.  She’s a hugger… a toucher… a smiling beacon of warmth.  She’s not a pushover by any means, but she’ll sit with you in silence if you need it, give you the hug you need or the shoulder to cry on when you reach for her.  She’ll then wipe your tears away when you’re done and give you a smile that lights up her face.  A smile that is so infections you can’t help the twitch of your own lips.  Giving you a light hug, she’ll then whisper in your ear, “It’ll be okay. Go get’em Tiger”.

Queen of Swords – Some would call him passionately shrewd.  Others would call him cold and ruthless.  People come to him for advice.  They bring not just their hopes and dreams, but their troubles and worries to him and he listens as they share with him what they want out of their future.  He takes what they give him and turns this into a plan.. a plan for the future, a strategy for success that he then explains to them in explicit detail so that they can follow that plan to the letter.  They are sent away more learned than they arrived, with the knowledge he’s there if they need him again.

Queen of Discs – They all come to her from time to time, her children and her children’s children.  They come to visit and pay respects, and sometimes to get practical advice on home and family matters… and always she has cookies at the ready.  Her truly shining moment, though, is the family picnic in the middle of  June each year. She spends days in the kitchen, cooking for the family that will fill her house and property with laughter and conversation.  Bowls and platters, plates and casserole dishes. Roast beef and a Thanksgiving worthy turkey, fried chicken and so many delicious things to eat.  All her old recipes brought to life again for those she holds most dear.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

Guilt, Blame, and Letting Go

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_5964Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was one of my guided meditations with an interval timer to space out my piriformis stretching.   The topic of today’s guided meditation was about the reflection of one’s behavior back on yourself through interaction with others.  If you approach someone in anger, it makes sense that you will get anger back.  But what people don’t realize is that more subtle effects are also just as possible.

The meditation told the story of a research team wanting to research monkeys, but each time they tried to get close the monkeys repelled them.  Then a researcher went in alone without guns as protection, and the monkeys welcomed him.   The monkeys didn’t know what guns are, but because the team was going in wary and on guard, prepared to commit violence, the monkeys could sense this and wouldn’t let them close.

People are often also like this. They pick up on non verbal cues that tell them someone is tense or irritated, anxious or defensive.  And they then react to those cues without even realizing they’re doing it.   By the same turn, they will also react to positive cues like happiness and warmth.  The meditation today encouraged the latter.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Three (Three of Swords) which is traditionally about heartache and feelings of loss including (but far from restricted to) grief.

The Fae in this story has no heart.  It is being torn to shreds by the black birds, shared among them as she stands wide open with a hole in her chest, weeping bloody tears.  Trees wilt and falter on the landscape of her skirt as dark clouds come to tangle in her hair.

The thing is, that this looks like it is permanent. It looks never ending.  But the sun behind the figure in this imagery indicates that there is still hope on the horizon and as it rises, it will beat back the dark clouds and overtake the shadows.

Will she ever be the same?  No.   But that can be said for every experience we have in life, not just the bad ones.  Each and every good and bad experience we have changes us. This is how we grow.

I’ve been so disappointed all damned day because my stomach has been a mess.  The cramps are killing me and it’s made me miss out on time with you that I really wanted… and needed.  And was so fucking looking forward to.  I’m sorry my stomach is being a bastard.  I’ve been eating my yogurt and I don’t think I ate anything today that was even close to going bad… I just don’t know what the hell its problem is.

I feel so bad about this, but I know that, like the Fae in this card’s image, we will make it through and continue to grow and thrive.  Together.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I approach myself with extra kindness and patience during the healing process?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay attention to avoidance strategies (The Devil and Eight of Cups)… and focus on what is been accomplished and what’s good in your life (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I am so being called out with this reading.  *Chuckles*  Right, so I have a lot of different avoidance strategies to keep myself at a distance from my inner workings when things are feeling raw and I need to heal.  There’s my bad habits, my addictions, my defense mechanisms, multiple different types of distractions, and lets not forget just plain turning my back and willfully ignoring whatever is going on. I am one of those people who was raised to be able to sit and calmly eat or do pretty much anything with quiet calm… all while someone screams and berates you in your ear.  That detachment developed into  yet another mechanism of avoidance.

These cards indicate I need to watch out for these different methods of avoidance, and circumvent them through contemplation and acceptance of the good things in my life and an open acceptance, and even appreciation, of the things I have accomplished.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I begin to release self blame from my heart?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Live with what you’ve done (King of Pentacles). Allow your intuition to have a say in how much of the blame you should be taking in (The High Priestess). Don’t be so generous with others, as they played their part too (Six of Pentacles and Temperance).

Take Away:  I wouldn’t be where I am now without having done all those I’ve done along the way.  Some of those things aren’t things I’m proud of, but they need to be viewed with acceptance instead of consternation at this point, as they are in the past now and no longer need to be a burden upon my shoulders.

My instinctual… or perhaps habitual would be a better term… response to discord and conflict is to take the burden of wrongdoing upon myself.  More often than not?  I take far too much of that burden, and I need to learn how to judge more fairly just how much of it I should owl.  The High Priestess indicates I should be looking internally for that answer. I need to make sure it is I that chooses just how much of the burden I take on, and not anyone else.

When I blame myself for things that should be put upon other’s shoulders, I am being generous with them by taking so much of the burden on myself.  Instead, I need to practice a little more balance and moderation, because they deserve to shoulder their share.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  Air, I seek your wisdom. What teachings do you offer me?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow your heart to take the lead now and then (King of Cups) in work matters (Eight of Pentacles) and you will find yourself moving into another level of growth (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  This is about enjoying my work instead of just working for work’s sake. The fact is that I know from personal experience that work does not feel like work if you’re doing it right, and in the right frame of mind.  It feels like a challenge, or like fun, or like a creative burst, or just like the pleasure of creation and joy of sharing with others.  This pleasure is something that I lost for a while in my work due to pushing myself too hard and the resulting repetitive burnouts that ensued. I am working on reclaiming that joy in my work again, and the guidance here is encouragement to continue upon that path.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT