Helping Out
The little snot
she likes to play
she hangs out with me
every day
even when
I try to work
she’s right there
to help
to meddle
or lurk.
My little mischief maker.
Month: October 2020
Morning Bonus Read – Dark Year Spread
What is dying away, sloughing off, departing?
Five of Wands
My enthusiasm for the fight. I haven’t had that spark of fire this season that usually rides me so hard. That lack of enthusiasm makes it hard to push forward and has caused a slackening of motivation.
How can I lovingly support this transition?
Six of Cups atop Seven of Wands
These cards are not about supporting the transition. They’re about supporting myself through a time of discomfort and reminding myself that I need to stay in the present and not allow the past and my past experiences to force me into unpleasant situations. A lot of my motivation comes from those past experiences, and so this is also about acceptance.
What will this death make way for? What’s looking to be born or reborn?
Six of Pentacles
I really dislike this feeling of lack of motivation, but what this death is trying to make room for is a the ability to be more generous with myself and others. This is about having the awareness of where I am, what I need from others, and what I can offer in turn. Thus, putting me more in touch with what’s going on around me instead of within my own life from only my own perspective.
DECK USED: THE VAMPIRE TAROT
Take Care of Yourself
Today’s meditation was skipped, unfortunately, because I got a bit of a late start after the farm. Or rather, I ended up staying a bit longer at the farm this morning than planned, and it screwed the rest of my morning schedule. I did manage to still get my flu shot tho, and made it to my Aunt’s only about an hour late, so it wasn’t an entire wash.
Today’s draw is the Ten of Wands, which is traditionally interpreted as running into overwhelm or burnout in the pursuit of your passion projects and other endeavors. It is about taking on too much responsibility, about having too much on your plate, and about feeling over-burdened.
This is a very apt card for today, as today’s major project for today was about going over to my aunt’s new apartment in the city and helping to move all of her belongings out of the moving container (you know, like one of those big metal shipping containers) and into her apartment. This also ended up including the assembly of a couple pieces of furniture that she needed help putting together, and helping her get a few of the essential boxes unpacked.
The sharp tips on the ends of the wands in this imagery are especially apropos, as I feel that the message in this card today is about making sure that I don’t over do it to the point that I end up hurting myself (sharp pointed spears) in the process.
Today’s card was a perfectly timed reminder to make sure I would take care of myself today.
DECK USED: MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I best work with the thinning veil this year?
Reading Summary: Take a position of strength (Queen of Staves) and gratitude (Nine of Cups), of grounded fulfillment (Ten of Pentacles) about having made good choices that got you to where you’re at (The Lovers)…. only then can you work with others on the other side of the veil safely (Three of Coins).
Take Away: This is about making sure that I am “well seated” both emotionally and in the physical word and confident in where I’m at prior to reaching out to work with the other side. It’s about more than just being grounded, but about being in a place of strength, confidence, and power.
DECK USED: GOTHIC HORROR TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Energy I’m emitting / What that energy is attracting / What to do about it
Energy I’m Emitting – The Hanged Man – Open and observant. Quiet and willing to take my time when needed to understand things from different angles. Non-biased and able to take in different viewpoints without losing perspective.
What That Energy Is Attracting – Ten of Fish – People are drawn to this as it feels safe and soothing. It makes me approachable even when perhaps I’m not as skilled as I’d like to be in communication and other interpersonal aspects.
What To Do About It – King of Chaos – Do nothing. The repercussions would suck for yourself and for others. Chaos is just not comfortable or something you really want too much of in your life.
DECK USED: GRIM TAROCK
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What message do my other Guides need to tell me?
Reading Summary: My spirit guides say that they see that I’m moving forward in my business (Page of Wands) and that I’m not just capable (The Magician) but also highly skilled (Eight of Pentacles).
Take Away: They are all on my side and being my cheer-leading team, letting me know that I’ve got this. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, but they are reminding me that I’m strong and capable and in my element and if I just go with it, everything will be fine.
DECK USED: TRICK OR TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does shadow/darkness mean to me?
Reading Summary: The influence that creates bad choices (Lovers Rx), the self recriminations and inner dialogue that drags me under into depression and retreat (The Hermit Rx), and the emotional mess that spills out to damage my ability to relate to others (Queen of Cups Rx).
Take Away: Shadows and darkness are, in my perspective, the influences and decisions that create a situation of isolation and depression.
DECK USED: TAROT DE MARSEILLE PAR POLE KA
Gideon’s Challenge
The Little Things
Everybody misses
the tiny details
when moving
too quickly
from day to day.
Sometimes
you need to stop
and lean in
and really see
those things
around you
that normally
fly by unseen.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Morning Bonus Read – Refocus Tarot Spread
Because I am trying to show a bit more of my decks this month, as I have a whole LOT of October/Halloween/Samhain decks, I’m doing a few extra bonus reads over the month. This is one of those extra readings.
Why do I feel unfocused right now?
Ten of Pentacles Rx
Because my stability feels a bit shaky and uprooted. The thing is, this time of year is a transition period for me between the summer’s endeavors (that this year were primarily self-focused and personal) and the holiday rush (which is entirely business focused and entrepreneurial). It’s not surprising that the shift from one to the other would make me feel unsteady, and thus a bit unfocused.
What is distracting me from my soul’s true path?
Judgement
Me.. being a dick… to myself. I’m working on combating this as best that I can, but that dark snarl that likes to whisper nasty shit in my ear is definitely working overtime at the moment.
What requires my focus right now that I am neglecting?
Eight of Cups
I’ve had a lot of reminders lately about making sure I’m leaving the shit that isn’t working from me behind. Here, again, we see that reminder that I need to keep my eye on where I want to go and not on how I used to do things. There’s a lot of temptation right now to fall into bad habits from my past, so these constant reminders are understandable and appreciated.
How can I release distractions and refocus on what matters most?
The Hanged Man Rx
Stop allowing hesitation to rule my actions and thoughts. I’m being told to jump in and “adjust on the fly” as I move forward instead of hanging back with worries while trying to test the waters before jumping in. Procrastination is not my friend right now.
Who or what can help me stay focused?
Ace of Wands
I need to get back in touch with that creative inner spark and the joy that it gives me to manifest ideas into physical items that bring pleasure to others. This is my own pleasure and my purpose, and is something that I’ve lost touch with a bit off and on this year.
How can I benefit from realigning and refocusing?
Five of Cups Rx
It will allow me to move on and move forward instead of hanging back dealing with emotions that have no use or purpose for me at this time.
DECK USED: CATTON CANDY NIGHTMARE TAROT
Claiming Control
Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another guided meditation with interval timer. The guided meditation today also included a chime which was intended to help keep the mind returning to the present and the breath. This is because the topic of the guided meditation was just that.
That is to say, the topic was about sinking into the present and not allowing fixation with the past or the future to diminish your pleasure in the moment. The thing is? Most of humanity has a tendency to do just that. To either get lost in thoughts of the past and memories, or distracted by plans for the future and daydreams. These distractions take our mind away from the present, and make it difficult to fully enjoy all that the present has to offer.
Part of mindfulness meditation is the effort to train your mind to spend more time in the present, so that we can then carry that mindfulness of the present forward outside of meditation and into your day to day lives.
Today’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a receptive alpha energy, personality or person in the area of one’s drive, passionate interests, enthusiasms, and willpower. This often translates into themes that have to do with determination, confident independence, and strong figures that encourage the drive and ambitions of others.
One of the lesser known interpretations of the Queen of Wands lies in the concept of dominant sensuality, as in the blend of dominance and sensuality. And that is what I see in the imagery of this card today. I see a confident woman filled with strength and aware of her power and allure. I see control in her hold on the trident of flames, and sensuality in the piano behind her (that might be just me because of my synesthesia).
The message here is about owning your power. It’s about knowing your strengths and playing to them instead of disregarding them as useless or yourself as unworthy. The message in this card is about making sure I know to step into tomorrow with confidence and determination, and place myself through my behavior and my inner strength in a place of power and control… thus owning that control rather than allowing my aunt to have it.
DECK USED: TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Ask your cards for something you are destined to explore or face. Draw as many cards as you see fit. Set an affirmation and conclude your reading with “… and so it is.”
Something I am Destined to Explore/Face
When I look in the mirror, what do I see? Do I see the man that I am now? Or the child I used to be? (Six of Cups)
When I step into my entrepreneurial spark and allow it to fill my focus and time, do I carry with me the strength of the man I am? Or do I hear my father’s cruel bark? (Ace of Wands)
Instead of listening to that voice of old, it’s time to learn a different way. I need to find the optimism I’ve lost and a way to inject joy into my work… something I had always been discourage from doing in my youth. (The Sun)
Affirmation
By collaborating with others, they bring support into the equation, and allow room to foster joy. Let them help. Let them provide that spark of pleasure, and allow them to give me the space I need to breathe and lighten my heart that had once been caged. So it will be…. and thus so it is.
DECK USED: MURDER OF CROWS TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #1
Question: How can I give myself more space for my emotions, even during the busy time?
Reading Summary: This is a learning process (The Hierophant).
The two left cards look into the past, but the wand in the center leans into the future. This speaks to me about how my lack of motivation (Four of Cups) and the desire to bump that motivation into high gear (Queen of Wands) both live in the past, but the practical advice on actually moving forward into my goals and allowing my emotions to have their own space does not lie back there, it lives in the future (tip of the wand in the Queen of Wands pointing to the right).
There is a hint of blue in the first two cards, one over the cup being ignored, and one upon the forehead of the Queen. This blue feels like the scars my past treatment of myself have created both on my emotions (the cup) as well as my inner dialogue (Queen’s head).
The Hierophant looks into the future and leans in that direction… but his hand is palm up in the direction of the past, as if to indicate that the past needs to be held back or to be given a pause.
Take Away: To give myself room to feel my emotions (even during the busy time) I need to leave my past in the past. This applies to my past habits, but also the treatment and events that taught me those habits in the first place. It’s only by allowing the past to be in the past. This isn’t about burying the past, but rather about accepting where it should live.
DECK USED: CURIO TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How will the lesson of staying focused on balance, instead of allowing old habits of overworking to have free reign, impact my life?
Reading Summary: It will allow me to have more focus on my work (Eight of Pentacles) without it damaging my intuitive abilities (High Priestess Rx)… which in turn will allow me to find a more stable center (Queen of Pentacles) and move forward towards my ambitions with clarity (Knight of Swords).
Take Away: When I overwork myself, it has a habit of fizzling out a good portion of my intuitive side. Things begin to feel unstable and I begin to feel lost and off center like I’m fumbling around drunk in the dark.
By staying focused on balance instead of allowing old work habits to rise up and take control, it gives me the opportunity to avoid being overwhelmed even while I continue with my work, allowing me to have that intuitive connection, stability, and direction that is lacking when I am flirting with burnout.
DECK USED: HEPHOE TAPO
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How important is my spiritual altar to me?
Reading Summary: It’s more of a reminder of tradition (The Hierophant), than something that I use all the time (Three of Swords). But, it has its place in my journey and in keeping me grounded, as well as in making me feel that I have what I need (Nine of Coins).
Take Away: I don’t use my altar all that often. I mean… daily for my daily devotional, but I don’t really need an altar to do that devotional. Aside from my devotional? I don’t use it at all actually. My spellcraft is not done at my altar, my research and studies are not done there either, nor do my rituals take place there other than the already mentioned daily devotional.
Ultimately, it is a beautiful spot that is a soothing display of my faith and my values. I enjoy it and the centered and grounded feeling that standing before it provides, and its beauty as well… but I wouldn’t call it necessary.
Twisting the Leaf 