Sentimental Value
Sometimes
the things
that we take
with us
tell others
as much about
who we are
and who we
want to be
as the things
that we choose
to leave behind.
Month: October 2020
Morning Bonus Read – Sovereign Self Spread
Where have I let my guard down?
Three of Swords
Despair and disappointment have been allowed to creep in and just because you’re trying to ignore that it’s there isn’t going to make it ease up or go away. The reason you’ve been feeling like crap lately is because your negative inner dialogue is whispering to you and although you aren’t exactly listening? You’re not doing your all to fight against it either.
Where are my boundaries weak?
Four of Wands atop Queen of Cups
Your boundaries are weakest with those that you share a roof with and an emotional connection to. You want to give them a chance to enjoy themselves, and because of that you’re not setting down boundaries as firm as you need to be.
How might I step up and reclaim sovereignty of myself?
The Moon
Stop entertaining all your self doubts and uncertainties. That inner dialogue is fucking up your perspective and causing more doubts and uncertainties to come to the surface with each day that passes.
How might I step up and reclaim sovereignty of my space?
Three of Cups
Make things fun for everyone. Being together so much is a struggle and it makes all of us a little techty. It isn’t as if they are going anywhere right now, so in order to reclaim your space it’s important to take control of the energy in that space and turn it into something positive that reinforces the bonds between all three of you.
How might I step up and reclaim sovereignty of my experience?
Ten of Cups
Focus on what you have and just how good it is. Fill your life with positive emotions, positive hope, and a positive outlook on the present. In doing so you leave no room for that negativity that’s trying to drag you under. This is not always easy, focusing on that positive aspect. But it’s necessary.
How can I continue to create and maintain strong boundaries moving forward?
Knight of Cups
Know what it is you want and go after it. Good things come to those that reach for the stars, so decide what stars you want to pluck from the sky and do what is needed to make obtaining them possible.
DECK USED: THE GOTHIC TAROT
Quality Rest vs Wasting Time
Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a quiet non-guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I really just needed a little peace, and I felt that the guided meditation, or even a bit of music, would feel like a bit too much over-stimulation.
Today’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is traditionally about rest and recovery, especially after a time of struggle. Recuperation is an important part of making sure you are able to carry on and the pause traditionally depicted in the tarot is one of not just recuperation but also reflection.
What stands out to me the most strongly in the imagery of this card is the face of the resting individual. Looking closely, you can see that the lower half of the figure’s face is covered. That combined with the angle of the head and the wreath crown make me wonder if this is not a corpse instead of someone taking a moment’s respite.
Set in the window in the background is a portrait of a woman and a little girl that looks like she is bend to whisper in the prone figure’s ear, though… which to me hints at the idea that there is indeed some consciousness present still, even in this moment of deathlike stillness.
The message in today’s card is more about the quality of one’s rest than taking rest on its own. You can sit around all day and dawdle, get nothing done, and spend the entire day wasting time and still feel exhausted at the end of the day as if you’d been on the go for hours. On the other hand? Sometimes you can take a ten or fifteen minute break, and feel fully refreshed and ready to take on the world. The whispering little girl does not bode well for a restorative rest, no matter if the figure has passed or not.
Don’t allow your inner whispers to disturb your rest the way that the little girl is trying to disturb the figure’s rest in this card. There’s no point in resting if you’re not going to make it count…. otherwise you’re just wasting time and not getting anything from it but more stress.
DECK USED: MADAM LYDIA WILHELMINA’S TAROT
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Draw a card for an ancestor or loved one who crossed.
I asked for advice from my grandmother on my mother’s side. It feels like this card turning up in response is an encouragement that I am on the right path. Although I enjoy my creative business and creative endeavors, I’ve found a real joy in helping others as well, which is something I’d explored a bit when I was younger by teaching now and then, but didn’t really delve into in great depth until the last couple of years.
I’ve always had a really hard time socially, but it seems to have helped me immensely in this department to be able to actually contribute to other’s journey.
At the same time, I feel there is also a reminder here to make sure I am delving into my own roots and staying true to my own path. Having been raised Wiccan, a great deal of my current Pagan practice comes from these roots in my childhood…. which come from roots in my family that go back generations. Spellcraft, especially, has ran in our family for many generations on my mother’s side and many traditions and practices have been passed down from one generation to the next and then to me.
If I do not share my practices and beliefs with others, and share the traditions that have been passed down to me, they will then die with my sister and I… as there is no next generation for either of us with which to pass on this knowledge further.
DECK USED: THE VAMPIRE TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3
Smoky Quartz – Nine of Swords – To purge negativity from my life and develop greater stability, I need to stop listening to that negative inner dialogue that encourages anxiety and causes me to feel down on myself, my performance, and my abilities.
Apple – Six of Cups – To improve my physical health at this time, it is important to look back on the things that have made me happy in the past and have me feel good… then, stop thinking about them and start doing them.
Chrysanthemum – King of Cups atop Seven of Pentacles – The defenses that need fostering right now in order to foster my growth have to do with making sure that I don’t allow vulnerability to creep in and screw with my emotions just because things are taking their time in growing and getting where I want to be.
Aquamarine – Knight of Wands – The calm found through meditation can bolster my confidence by allowing me to more easily focus on where I want to go, what I want to do… and how to get there most efficiently. This, in turn, sets me free from the restraints that anxiety and doubts use to chain me up.
Mint – The Tower – Factors in my relationships that are in need of reevaluation and adjustment have to do with how I deal with chaos and catastrophe. Instead of retreating into myself, ducking my head down and plowing forward on my own, I need to seek support from others instead (like the figures in the card sitting together at a distance watching the tower burn).
Carnelian – Ten of Pentacles – Including more creativity in my life can lighten my daily outlook because, at least in my life, creativity is the path to my greatest goals of stability and security in my life. These are the things I want so much and focus on achieving with neatly each breath I take. My business is based on my creativity, and therefore fostering creativity allows these things to happen… while others look on and wonder at how it’s done (last part added in from the little figure at the top of the stairs in the card’s image).
Pomegranate – Six of Wands – The wish of mine that is ready to be manifested into reality right now is that desire for success… and the acknowledgment of that success by those that matter to me most. I hate admitting that I need that desire that acknowledgement, that I feel a longing for those “atta’boys”. But, not wanting to admit it doesn’t make it any less true that I do desire them.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE SWEET TWILIGHT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: What changes do I need to make to understand my Guides better?
Reading Summary: Stewing in your own misery (Four of Cups) and seeing everything in a defensive/offensive viewpoint (Seven of Wands and Nine of Wands) is a habit that you need to get out of (The Devil).
Take Away: When my mind is clouded in the smoke of my wallowing, it muffles my ability to hear my intuition and thus also my guides. Same goes for when I am too focused on protecting myself and what I value. When I am feeling defensive, I try to build walls. Walls are a bad habit that are very much not healthy for me and do not foster open communication with the living, the dead, or the spirit guides trying to help me.
DECK USED: CARNIVAL AT THE END OF THE WORLD TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What deep fear am I working through?
Reading Summary: That fighting for (Seven of Wands) what I want out of life (Queen of Pentacles) is going to make me a hard and calloused son of a bitch (Queen of Swords Rx).
Take Away: As with the Mystic Star question for today, the answer here is about my inner walls. It’s about shutting people out and burying my emotions so that I become someone I do not want to be. I want to stand up for those things I believe in. I want to fight for those things I value. At the same time? I need to make sure that I do so in a way that doesn’t… turn me into my mother.
I believe that the work I have been doing with Gideon about getting in touch with my feelings and my growth in the areas of dismantling those walls and developing a stronger sense of emotional intelligence are helping me in making sure this doesn’t end up my fate.
DECK USED: CATTON CANDY NIGHTMARE TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Dusk in Autumn
Summer’s whisper
sighs ‘goodbye’
and leaves behind
swirling shades
of bright sunsets
and blue dusk.
Civilization
twinkles like stars
in the darkness
a sky of
shimmering light
stretching out
over land.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Ace of Cups and Crow / Destiny – Sometimes it’s okay to make decisions with your heart. Keep your eye cast in the direction that you want to go in, and seize the opportunities that come along to improve your position. This week, it may be that you have to lean more into your gut than your head in doing that… and that’s okay.
Air – King of Cups, Nine of Wands, Rosemary / Focus – You’re not feeling all that “large and in charge” this week, but you’re faking it just fine. The thing is? This isn’t one of those times when you can fake it until you make it. Take a breath and do what you need to find your center and your focus. This means picking back up your meditation and letting it help soothe some of that defensive tension you have going on right now.
Water – Five of Pentacles and Carnelian / Motivate – That general malaise that you’ve been feeling the last few days is messing with your motivation. This will continue to be a struggle throughout the week, but keep in mind that action is the kindle that sparks motivation’s fire. Make sure that you’re doing even a little bit each day toward your goals and that the girls are as well. It’ll keep you moving, even during this week that may otherwise feel like dragging feet through quicksand.
Fire – Ten of Cups, Pyrite / Success, Black Tourmaline / Eliminate – This week is going to cause you to feel a bit hopeless and as if you’re progress towards your goals has come to a grinding halt. Business is going to be slow, but it’s temporary. Remember that your reaction to this is an entirely emotional reaction.
Waning – Origin – This is about my father’s influences. It’s about my origin story and the need to focus on leaving that in the past where it belongs. The emotions and demons that allowing it to come forward are demons that I can’t wrestle with at this time, and so allowing them to come forward will only allow them to harm me. Keep the past in the past where it belongs. Now is not the time.
Waxing – The Harvest – This week is the final week of the last harvest, and this card couldn’t be more fitting considering that fact. It’s time to start gathering up everything I will need for the winter months… that means gathering up everything that I need for the holiday rush that’s only getting closer and closer. Don’t allow your feelings from the Fire position above to dissuade you from the preparations you need to make.
Take Away – Business is going to be slow this week and it’s going to fuck with your emotions, but don’t let that keep you from doing what you need to do to prepare for what’s to come. Make sure that you don’t let the general malaise that you’ve been feeling create a vulnerability that your father’s influences can then slip into and start eating away at you. Listen to your heart this week when it comes to any opportunities coming your way. This isn’t easy for you as logic is your go to, but the heart that needs a say this time.
DECKS USED: DARK MANSION TAROT, WITCHES WORLD ORACLE, AGATHA’S PENDULUM ORACLE
Don’t Be “All Talk”
Today’s meditation was skipped. I know. I shouldn’t be skipping anymore but I’m confessing here. I skipped it. I need to get back on track with doing the meditation on a daily basis each morning. I know it helps, and would probably help my current feeling of malaise that I’ve been struggling with. So I need to just do it.
Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is traditionally a representation of a nurturing earth-mother type of energy, abundance, and the sacred feminine.
There are a couple of things that really stand out to me in the imagery of this card today. The first of which is how svelt the Empress is in this imagery. That just feels a little weird for me, but I think it’s not so much something the card is speaking to me as it is just a personal preference for the Empress to have a bit of meat on her bones.
The second, and far more relevant, aspect of the imagery that stands out to me today is the delicate curl of her hand as she cradles the glowing orb. The tilt of her head indicates regal authority, and yet she holds the orb with a gentle touch (indicated in the light curl of her pinky finger). She listens and cares, and the orb comes to her in trust.
The message here is about being good to yourself. As good to yourself as you are to others. And that has to be more than a thought or an idea. It has to be an action. It has to be something you actually do. Because if it’s all talk? Then it’s not going to get you anywhere.
DECK USED: TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE
LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Select your Death card and ask the Spirit World to guide you in something you could move past. Now draw another card.
My Death Card is the Seven of Wands, which is about being so defensive all the time, indicating that this is something within myself that I need to work on changing. Not in one fell sweep, but a little at a time.
When asking the Spirit World for guidance in moving past this issue, I was given the Star card, indicating that I need to approach this problem with a mindset geared towards hope while striving for an outlook of gentle balance and self-kindness.
The Two of Swords and Death card then dropped out as I was setting the cards down. This added input indicates that this endeavor is not something that will happen on its own but rather is something I will have to make a choice to work on, and have the patience to let it unfold slowly.
DECK USED: CUTE AND CREEPY TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What positive generational gift has been passed down to me from my ancestors?
Reading Summary: The ability to take things in stride (Wheel of Fortune) and move you and your loved ones forward (Two of Cups atop Two of Wands) no matter the amount burden involved (Ten of Wands).
Take Away: I would not have considered this a generational gift, and yet… perhaps it is after all. The fact that I carry those that depend on me forward, continuing to keep them moving and keep them together even when things fall apart or the burden of it all feels too much is something… I have done and do today. Is something my father has done. And I imagine it is something that those before him did as well.
Perhaps this quality of being able to move forward even under that horrible weight of responsibility and the ever changing sands of life under my feet is hereditary after all, yes? At least… that is what the cards are saying.
DECK USED: DARK ANGELS TAROT
#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I strengthen my connection with my Guides?
Reading Summary: My cards are singing to me that old Bill Withers “Lean On Me” song.
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow (The Tower)
Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on (Two of Cups)
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry (Seven of Cups)
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
If you just call me (Two of Cups)
Take Away: In a previous reading, there was a question about how can I honor my connection with my guides, which was to strengthen that connection.
The response to how to strengthen that connection is to use that connection. Don’t ignore it or leave it in the background, but actively reach for it and my guides, and use the tools at my disposal to ask for help and connect to them on a conscious level. To actually ask questions, seek out their advice, and acknowledge them and their guiding hands.
DECK USED: THE CRYPTID TAROT
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is ready to be released from my life?
Reading Summary: Emotions (Lord of Grails) and intuition (The Priestess) taking the forefront (imagery in the Lord of Grails). That whole “steady as she goes” mentality (Four of Skulls) is great when there’s not a bombardment of chaos to deal with, and fun and games have their place (The Sun). Unfortunately, none of that is going to help me in the couple of months ahead.
Take Away: It’s time to release fun and play and relaxed methodologies as well as the distractions that I’ve been enjoying so much through the spring and summer (emotional growth, intuitive growth, etc). There is a seven week stretch quickly approaching that is going to require setting all that aside for a bit. Releasing all that is hard, but it needs to happen.
Twisting the Leaf 