Preparation Time
Wildly busy
so much to do
the mind whirls around
and around
It’s no wonder bees
can’t fly straight
their minds
are dizzying and wild.
I’m doing my best not to let the gearing up of the upcoming holiday rush amp me up and drive me into a frenzy. It’s not easy, as that is my natural tendency when something tries to steal my focus, to focus down on it so hard nothing else exists anymore.
Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long, and like yesterday’s meditation, it was a guided meditation with interval timer element added for the sake of my piriformis stretches.
The focus of the guided meditation today was about compassion, and it reminded me of someone that I watch on YouTube from time to time. Dustin often closes his videos with “Remember that everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. So be kind. Always.” It is a phrase that has really stuck with me over time, and it is a prime example of the topic of today’s guided meditation.
The guide brought up how sometimes we are impatient or frustrated with others. Whether it’s because they’re slower than we’d like in a store or on the road, or they’re paying with pennies in the grocery store and we’re stuck behind them, etc. And the thing is? Sometimes? These things that irritate us only do so because we don’t understand what’s going on and why they’re happening.
The thing is though? It’s none of our business. But what is our business is treating these situations and people with patience and understanding, regardless of whether we personally are in the know as to why whatever is happening is happening.
Today’s draw is is the Three of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of collaboration towards a shared goal or endeavor, usually in the area s of finances, resources, or projects focused on the process of manifestation.
This card feels a lot like the Three of Cups to me. Three birds enjoying a treat, perched around the rim of a cup together.
And yet, being the Three of Pentacles has it’s own relevance here. It makes this card about more than successful endeavors and collaboration, but also about enjoying the process. It’s important to enjoy the time you put towards your projects and endeavors, and when you involve others in on these projects? Then it’s important that it’s enjoyable for them as well.
The other day a reading suggested I figure out what it is that others who help me during the holiday season enjoy, so that I can shift those jobs to them rather than waiting until I’m desperate for help and handing them whatever jobs need done at the time. In both instances, they are helping, and getting things done that need done. But in the former instance they get to really enjoy the process… whereas in the latter scenario they could end up stuck with jobs that suck.
Here in this card I see the results of finding out what people enjoy and giving them those tasks rather than just tossing whatever needs done their way.
#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I emotionally?
Reading Summary: Feeling secure and grounded (Ten of Pentacles) and supportedly (new word) inspired (Queen of Wands) as at the moment I am both receiving and giving equally (Six of Pentacles).
Take Away: Emotionally I’m feeling pretty good right now. Having a sense of balance and security is really helpful in keeping me on an even keel and making life tolerable as a whole. I also feel pretty good about my work. Although I’ve fallen behind a bit, I’m getting help from both L and Z, which is helping a lot in keeping that “fallen behind” from becoming something that feels insurmountable.
#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: What is Humanity’s biggest accomplishment?
Reading Summary: The ability to rise above (Hanged Man and The Sun) experiences of betrayal and deception (Seven of Swords), allowing those experiences to inspire us to be better and become more than before (King of Wands).
Take Away: This is about more than just “learning from our mistakes” but rather about taking the bad things that happen to us that aren’t our mistakes at all, and learning how to not just move past them, but turn them into a positive growth experience.
I know that not everyone has this ability, but I do agree that the ability to “rise above” really could be one of humanity’s biggest accomplishments, if not one we’ve quite managed to master yet.
Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How has my family or foundation positively shaped, influenced or impacted the way I move or carry myself today?
Reading Summary: I learned to fend for myself (Page of Swords) instead of depending upon external praise (Six of Wands), and to be secure in laying claim what’s mine (Queen of Disks).
Take Away: I can’t say that my family foundation has been all that positive, but it has taught me self sufficiency. Although I do enjoy praise and admiration, I don’t require it. I’m more than capable of motivating myself without that carrot dangling before me.
By the same turn, it has taught me to feel a good deal of protective ownership over what belongs to me. This goes beyond personal possessions and includes thoughts, ideas, values, and those things that I work so hard to obtain such as a home, stability, and security.
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I make life choices more consciously?
Reading Summary: I need to make it a conscious choice (Two of Spades) to worry less about my fears and anxieties (Nine of Spades) and focus instead on embodying the strength and purpose of my endeavors (King of Clubs) while practicing the moderation needed to keep things balanced (Temperance).
Take Away: To make life’s choices more consciously (and more confidently, for that matter), the cards indicate that I need to spend less time worrying and more time finding a balance between my drive and my need for self care. Moderation is not my strong suit, and I have a habit of dropping myself into an endeavor and allowing it to overtake every facet of my life until it is all that I eat, sleep, or breathe. This is a tendency that I am trying to break myself free of.
The thing is, when I focus on my anxieties? It only pushes me more towards the need to delve deep, and pulls me away from the self care I need to sustain in my life.
Dirty Sunset
Smoky sky
too thick to breathe
tasting ash
creates unease.
Sunset comes
a ball of red.
Bet’cher glad now
for the mask on your head.
The wildfire smoke has officially arrived. Stay safe everyone.
Pull (at least) three cards use them as the foundation to tell us about a natural and/or fictional creature’s greeting of the Fall season.
The Bloom – When the season first changed (Death), I felt like I was on top of the world (The Emperor) and all of my usual uncertainties (The Moon) and inhibitions were set aside for the enjoyment of the new season (The Fool).
The Tuft – But soon my inner dialogue started coming in and nitpicking at every little silly thing I was doing (Judgement) and telling me that I had to make a choice for a more responsible path (The Lovers).
The Seeding – I did what it said and I threw away my joyous celebration of the season in the process (The Chariot).
The Empty Bud – Now I feel like I fucked up (The Tower). I need to retreat and reevaluate (The Hermit) and delve deep into my own inner secrets of why I did what I did (The High Priestess). Hopefully my progeny will do it better and differently (Wheel of Fortune).
Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and another one of the guided meditations with added interval timer to help me know when I need to change positions in my piriformis stretching.
The guided meditation topic for today’s meditation was mindful eating and spoke about how lots of people have food issues from overeating to underrating for a variety of reasons including emotional issues, scarcity issues, etc. I personally have my own issues with food, although in my case it’s about not being able to balance out my metabolism and nutritional needs. This means that I eat a -lot- of food, and considering my addictive personality issues? It’s probably a good thing that I need to.
That said, the topic of the meditation was that we need to take more time to really sink into and enjoy our food, focusing on the flavors and textures and satiation aspect available in every bite. I do this quite often, but not all the time. I think everyone does a little “mindless eating” now and then and that it’s natural, although I can see how being more mindful of the food put into your mouth could possibly turn around some food related issues.
Today’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of unions, duality, and partnerships in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, and creativity. This often comes across as harmonious attractions and themes of mutual attraction, although not always in a romantic manner.
Like most of the other cards that I’ve pulled from this deck so far this month, it isn’t any one specific element in the imagery that catches my attention. Instead this deck seems to communicate most strongly to me through color and composition.
What I see in this imagery today is harmonious flow. Sometimes, harmony isn’t about equality, nor is it about balance. Sometimes it’s about working together and allowing each other’s differences to compliment each other and support each other.
It’s us. You and me. We are so very different, and yet together we are more than we could ever be apart. We support each other, and we provide something each of the other of us doesn’t have. It’s our differences that create the perfect fit and harmonious union that we have with each other.
I love you.
#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my sacral chakra?
Reading Summary: Libido fluctuations (imagery in Temperance) weighing heavily (Two of Coins) and creating repressed feelings of responsibility and failure (Knight of Cups Rx).
Side Note: I was actually starting to wonder if I’d be able to read this deck. It’s communication is a bit different than what I’ve encountered in the past and I’m struggling with it a bit. I’ve used it in a few readings thus far, but tossed out the readings because they weren’t “flowing” with my intuition.
Take Away: I need to work at not considering my libido fluctuation as an actual failing on my part. It hasn’t been the same since the cancer and my RPLND, and I get it. I get that all of that changed things, but I feel so fucking guilty about it having changed and like I’m not giving enough anymore.
I know that our relationship is so much more than just sex… but sometimes I feel like such a fucking failure in this area.
#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel… Excited / Happy / Calm
What makes me feel excited?
Queen of Pentacles
Creation. Manifestation. Giving birth to something new. An idea that is then brought into the real world. This excites me. Sometimes my ideas never make it to reality, other times they will eventually but have to be put on the back burner a while first. But when my creative ideas really do get to be brought forward, worked on, and developed into something real and tangible instead of just concept and thought? That excites me, no matter how many times it happens.
What makes me feel happy?
Judgement
It makes me happy to know that I’m on the right path. Knowing that my intuition and moral compass are taking me in the right direction for me, and helping me to not just survive but thrive from one day to the next. Even when I don’t do things how everyone else does, even when I often see things differently, or process things differently… in the end, my intuition and moral compass continue to steer me right and keep me on track and flourishing.
What makes me feel calm?
Two of Cups
This completely relates back to my COTD pull for today, which is to say… what makes me feel calm is Gideon. Not just Gideon, but the fact that he is so very different than I am, so I know that I can go to him for whatever I need, whether that be perspective, support, or even validation. He is the “missing piece” that helps me find my balance when I’m feeling off kilter.
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I inspire others?
Reading Summary: In times of uncertainty (The Moon) I inspire others to see what is good in their life (Nine of Pentacles) and to go after their heart’s desires (Knight of Cups).
Take Away: This is something that I really enjoy in life. It brings me great pleasure to help people work through the shadows of uncertainty and clouded darkness of one’s illusions of pessimism to see that there really is value in their life and they are worth the motivation and effort needed to obtain their dreams. It’s a part of that pleasure that I take in helping others find the path that works for them. I very much hope that what the cards say here is true.
Too Pretty To Be So Hot
Lazy clouds
in cool blue sky
beauty bounds
as they march by
little ripples
on the lake
how is it so damned hot
when will
the heat wave break?
Twisting the Leaf 