Desire…
Come my love
and lie with me
upon spongy moss
and fallen leaves.
Roll among the ferns
with me
as laughter fills the air.
Dappled sunlight
kissing skin
as Fae watch on
and sigh.
You are my love. My heart. My desire.
Month: June 2020
The Person You Want to Be
Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another of the harp strings meditations. It was very relaxing although I had a little bit of trouble focusing today. It happens, and I try not to let it be frustrating as I know that it’s a part of meditating, as is bringing yourself back to center after your mind has strayed. I find it interesting that this meditation seems to work so well for me when usually it is the guided meditations that I gravitate toward.
Today’s draw is the Judgement card, which used to be a really difficult card for me. In fact, for most of my time reading tarot, this was the one card I struggled with connecting to… until last year. I attended a card study that the cards Justice and Judgement were the focus of. In this study, these cards were presented as Justice being immediate, present- day balance of cause and effect (which was how I viewed it anyway), and that by contrast, the judgement card was about what you’ve done with your life as a whole. How is your life path going? Is it going in a way that you like? Are you happy with the person you’ve become and how you live your life and see the world?
This contrast actually turned my confusion around completely. By having set the Judgement card beside the Justice card, it made the differences clear to me, and helped me to clearly define my understanding of the Judgement card in a way I’d failed to be able to in the years prior.
What really stands out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is that the Hydrastis canadensis is bearing fruit. The goldenseal plant reproduces in two different ways. Beneath the soil, the rhizome reproduces clonally and can do so within the first year. But the second way that this plant reproduces is through sexual reproduction above ground, which it is unable to accomplish until it’s fourth (or more often fifth) year of life. That is what the berry in the center of the plant’s leaf here signifies. It indicates that the plant has finally reached full maturity.
The message here in today’s card is about examining what you want in life and “checking in” with where you’re at to ensure you are staying on that path. It’s not about money or power or superficial matters… its about maturity of the heart and the soul, and ensuring that you are the type of person that you want to be.
I think this is a good message and a very good reminder, especially as I go through the growth concerning my emotions. Reassessment gives the opportunity to course correct values and just make sure I stay… true to who I want to be along the way.
DECK USED: HERBAL TAROT
#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I nearing a crossroads in life?
Reading Summary: Note the color coordination connecting the Seven of Wands and the Ten of Swords, as well as the Page of Swords and the Queen of Pentacles. The Seven of Wands freaks out as challenge starts to transition into defeat (Ten of Swords), while the Page looks back as if to say “see baby, it’ll be alright… just look where we’re going” (Queen of Pentacles).
Take Away: The cards here depict a common cycle for me between the Seven of Wands and the Ten of Swords. I fill my plate with all that I’m passionate about until I’m at a point of struggle and overwhelm and everything feels like it’s in chaos and I’m fighting for my life. I struggle. I fail. I hit the ground and my guts spill out. Then I have to pick myself up and start over again as I regain balance and fill my plate again.
The Page of Swords in these cards slicing through this cycle and showing a second path. An exit out of the loop. At the end of that second path sits the Queen of Pentacles, indicating if I make the choice to break this common cycle of mine and stay committed to doing things differently, I can find a much more stable and comfortable place than that of the path I’ve been on.
DECK USED: DAME DARCY’S MERMAID TAROT
#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I begin working on healing my inner child’s injuries?
Reading Summary: Work on a better way of fulfilling responsibilities (Knight of Pentacles over Two of Pentacles) so you can have some fun (imagery on the Seven of Wands) and a more fulfilled existence (Judgement).
Key note here is in the Seven of Wands and how, although the character in this card is on the defensive and in the middle of battle… they look like they’re having a hell of a good time while they’re at it.
Take Away: It is telling that the responsibilities portion of this reading is a pair of Pentacles, and specifically that the Knight of Pentacles overshadows the juggling in the Two of Pentacles. It speaks of needing to slow down and the necessity to pace myself rather than pushing so hard and being impatient. The other two cards are a reminder that while I’m slowing down, I need to make sure I’m having a good time (even when dealing with challenges) and staying on track concerning where I want to go spiritually and the person I want to be… which is someone that’s more than just work work work, incidentally.
DECK USED: SAWYER’S PATH TAROT
#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: What can I do, or keep in mind, to make today better?
Reading Summary: Don’t worry so much (Judgement) about where your emotional growth is going (Knight of Cups). Just focus on not backsliding (Six of Swords). For the moment, it’s the present that’s important and fostering your sense of enthusiasm (The Fool).
Take Away: Lots of guidance today to help me in getting on track with my emotional growth and keeping myself from backsliding into the bad habits of the past. The cards here indicate that it’s important for me to focus on finding those glimmering inner sparks of joy and enthusiasm and fostering them to life, and not to spend so much time worrying about where I’m going… or where I’m coming from.
DECK USED: TAROT OF METAMORPHOSIS
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How are my goals progressing?
Reading Summary: You are at a crossroads where you are going to have to make a conscious and concerted choice (The Lovers) between pushing back against that emotional growth going on (Four of Cups), or embracing it and letting it continue (Ace of Cups).
Take Away: I want the Ace of Cups. Avoiding the backslide into old habits is difficult, but I want that feeling of dappled sunlight on the soul that this growth has created. It’s the feeling of lying beneath trees as sunlight breaks in dappled warmth through the leaves above. It’s warm and peaceful and much different than the cold logic of my normal existence to date. I’ve come to discover that I like that dappled sunlight… and I want it to continue.
I want that exploration of the emotional growth I’ve been experiencing to continue… even if maybe I haven’t really seemed much like it over the past couple of weeks.
DECK USED: THE GOLDEN GIRLS TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Passion…
comes in many forms.
Between sheets
skin slick with sweat.
Within a board room
voice filled with conviction.
Lying in a field
picking shapes from the clouds.
It is that inner spark,
the flicker of flame that catches hold,
and the inferno that drives us.
I am a man of many passions. They swirl around me, a fiery spark flowing through my energy like a whirlwind. Curiosity and interests abound while creativity flourishes even in the darkest of times.
For me it is passion that drives everything I do from the moment’s first spark of interest to the glimmering flame of pursuit to the full-blown inferno of commitment. It is present in my relationships, with my work, in my play, in my spirituality. It is an integral part of who I am.
Passion is the spark that makes life worth living.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
It’s Okay to Not Know the Answer
Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, as I got interrupted by the fire alarm going off. Not ours, but the building one. Everything is fine, but that loud as fuck siren definitely yanks you right out of your relaxed zen state. It was not pleasant, although… the meditation up to that point was.
Today’s draw is the Hermit card, which is traditionally read as an indication of retreat into the self in order to work on personal growth and understanding, self reflection, and a need for a time of independence and introspection.
No one element stands out to me in this card today, nor does it particularly align with my understanding and interpretation of the hermit. What I see her is abstract chaos. Random and without rhyme or reason. The card doesn’t speak to me at all, in fact… which is the message. I struggled all day trying to find the elements of this card that would mean something, but it is in the confusion and the nothingness where the answer lies.
The message in today’s card is that not everything is always going to make sense, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s okay to be confused and chaotic. It’s okay to say “I don’t understand”. And it’s okay to accept that something is ‘beyond your scope’ if it truly is something you are unable to grasp.
So often we feel as if we have to have all the answers and can never be wrong. The message here is in the freedom of accepting that we are all fallible… and it’s okay to not know everything.
DECK USED: JAPARIDZE TAROT
#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better deal with crisis?
Reading Summary: Be kind and generous with others (Six of Pentacles), make sure to look over all of your options and make good decisions (Lovers) even when things are feeling out of control (Tower) and you will find yourself coming out the other side with things well in hand (The Star) and return to a sense of stability quickly (Four of Wands).
Take Away: When crisis hits, I can often have the tendency to turn inward and block others out. The Six of Pentacles is a reminder that others depend upon me and retreat into myself is not the best choice. Instead, I need to keep a clear head so that I can observe the situation and grasp all options open to me in order to guide myself and those that depend on me back to stable ground quickly.
DECK USED: TAROT SIRENE MARSEILLE
#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1
How is the rise of summer energy manifesting in my life?
Ace of Wands – I’m being given the opportunity this summer to look at how I handle my passions, how I balance my responsibilities and my entrepreneurial drive, and how to distribute my attention to find more joy and creative pleasure in my life. The energies this summer are there to lend themselves to finding inspired solutions that I can carry forward into the future.
How can I harness these summer energies to my purposes?
Wheel of Fortune – By focusing on staying centered and instead of allowing myself to spin out of control off on different tangents (as I recently did for about two weeks). It can be difficult to stay centered and focused when you have so much swirling around you looking for a place to land like a spiral of birds flying overhead. Stop looking up at the spiraling birds and focus on organizing my plate instead.
Where would I be best served in directing these energies over the summer?
Judgement and Ace of Cups – In finding ways to silence my inner critic in order to allow myself to return to that “dappled sunlight” exploration of the emotional growth I’ve been experiencing over the spring.
DECK USED: DREAM RAVEN TAROT
#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: What am I invited to meditate on/invest in today?
Reading Summary: Your committed relationship (The Lovers) needs some attention (Nine of Cups) so set aside your drive (Page of Wands) and your need to coax your finances into a more comfortable position (Page of Stones).
Take Away: Honestly? That breakdown above is after the fact, because the message I got from these cards when they were laid out before me was “talk to Gideon about the chaos”. So I did. In retrospect, I can’t find how I got that message, but it was very clear to me this morning when I first pulled them exactly what they were saying.
DECK USED: FANUNA’S TAROT
Gideon’s Challenge
Spirit…
lifts and lightens
from within
it’s ever present
yet often ignored
until the moment
it sparks
inspired
to shimmer
and shine.
I am a big supporter of the “leave nothing but footprints” mentality of visiting the forests and spending time there. That said? I have to admit that finding this little colorful rock hidden along a trail through the wetlands early in the spring lent me a little extra glimmer of extra spirit to my soul.
You find these rocks in the parks here a lot lately. That little lift this one gave me is their purpose. You are encouraged to pick them up and take them with you when you find one. I chose to leave this one behind to lift another’s spirits just as it had my own.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Sea Battle, Mosquito, and Broom – Neither of the girls in the cards look particularly thrilled with the prospect of bloodshed and violence. The brook indicates it’s time to brush away the worries that everything is going to come crashing down in a mess of epic proportions. Take a breath, cleanse yourself of the stress and strain that the last couple of months have piled on your chest concerning your financial stability and security. It’s time to clear the air of that fog and distance yourself from it as best you can, even if it means stripping off that pretty blue dress (your composure) and having an emotional moment in order to do so.
Air – Drippy Ice Cream and Tangle – Don’t allow your insecurities to eat your brains. Sometimes when you allow your inner critic too much freedom, it gets everything in your head all tangled up and you end up biting a chunk out of yourself purely by accident. That inner critic? It revels in the chaos and the insecurity that it causes. Don’t let it push you to the point you end up secretly nibbling away at yourself while presenting that pretty facade of “everything is okay”. There’s shit going on back there in the shadows… don’t ignore it.
Water – Tangled Rose and Cutting Board – This ties into the Air position. Everything needs pruning now and then or else it gets unruly and chaotic. That includes your emotions. Make sure that you don’t let your emotions get all tangled up and invested with the inner critic’s ploy. That mental struggle going on does not have to turn into an emotional maelstrom.
Fire – Rapunzel’s Dragon and Concentric Rings – Take some time to examine your past and how it influences how you feel about yourself and your craft. You’re skilled and passionate about your business, but what lies behind your business is both creativity and that creative spark that drives you. Don’t lose touch with that but instead explore it and how it has influenced you.
Waning – Lemon Gathering and “She stands up taller and breathes in deeper” – It’s time for a reality check. It’s okay to take pride in yourself, getting where you are at now took a lot of hard work and that is worth a bit of acknowledgement. Just don’t let that pride go to your head. Stay conscious of how you view others and grounded in your interactions with them.
Waxing – In the Boat and “while others stay fearful to open their doors” – You have someone on your side to watch your back. Don’t allow fear to rule you. That big bad wolf in your back pocket is there whenever you need him to keep watch so that you can feel safe and secure.
Take Away – There’s a serious need of cleansing indicated in these cards. A cleaning away of fears and worries and hidden judgements about both myself and others. This is a safe time to take care of this process of cleansing out those things, as you have someone in the boat with you that is eager and ready to stand guard over you and protect your back while you deal with your inner crap.
DECKS USED: NICOLETTA CECCOLI TAROT, THE EMPTY CUP ORACLE, YARN OF MAMA SHAMANA ORACLE
Twisting the Leaf 