Month: January 2020

Perspective During Struggle

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused upon mindfulness in everyday behavior.   That is to say… paying attention to your impulse reactions and considering whether they are serving you and your goals or not.

We all do it, yeah?  Jump to a response without considering what we’re saying or where it comes from.  Some are simply aware that we’re doing it (or have done it) than others.  Part of meditation and mindfulness is becoming more cognizant of this behavior and learning from it so that you can become a better person through self-examination and self-actualization.

Eight of Swords - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Swords, which is traditionally an indication of both the positive and negative aspects of self-restraint.

What I really see in this card today, though, is more of a Hanged Man perspective.   it has to do with the lone sword off to the side as the others are bound and restrained.

The message in today’s card is that sometimes when you are feeling all tied up in your own thoughts and struggles, it’s a good idea to take a breath and a step back, and try to see the situation from a different perspective.    By doing this, you can often find a different way to look at the situation and resolve any problems in your path.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What hard truth did I ignore last year?

Hydra-Nix Tarot

Reading Summary:  That sometimes you have push for the hard choices (Two of Swords) even when you’d rather sit back  and relax (Four of Swords) and stay out of it (The Hermit).

Take Away:  Okay so… sometimes when something is bothering me, instead of trying to deal with it, I will sort of just set it aside and pretend that it doesn’t exist.   A lot of times?  This works.  The problem resolves itself and I didn’t have to freak out about it after all.   The hard truth is, though… that sometimes?  It doesn’t work.  And in those times, having ignored the issue gives it time to grow and/or fester into something ugly and monstrous.

DECK USED:  HYDRA-NIX TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care during this new moon?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards and Faeries' Oracle by Brian Froud

Reading Summary: Too much spark and not enough grounding energy.

Take Away:  From moving out of the gray and into the warmth, to the erratic energy of the Sylph.  Progression along that path will lead to disorganization and confusion.

In other words?  I need to stop allow my attention to flit about. Some of the tasks I need to get done are unpalatable, and some are just downright boring.  But that’s okay.  I’ll feel better for having stayed on task and gotten them done.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS and FAERIES’ ORACLE BY BRIAN FROUD

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I overcome setbacks?

Lo Scarabeo Tarot

Reading Summary:  Count your blessings (Ten of Cups), work with others (Two of Cups), and allow for there to be a balance of give and take (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is the exact same message I got the other day from one of these challenges that asked what was, essentially, the exact same question.   Same cards and everything, if I’m not mistaken.   And honestly?  This really does pick up on one of those things that I have a really hard time with.  That is, allowing others to help.  Not just allowing, to be honest… but even asking for help is often a huge struggle.  And that’s after I’m able to acknowledge I even need it in the first place.

DECK USED:  LO SCARABEO TAROT

 

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation that focused on how it’s okay to be kind to yourself about missing meditation practice now and then… and how it is important to not look at your meditation practice as some kind of chore or task.

When it is looked at as a chore or task, then it becomes something you “have” to do, and something you can then more easily resent or get burned out on.  If we instead seek to see meditation as a moment of kindness to ourselves and a “break” from the world at large, then meditation becomes a reprieve and a retreat… something that we feel eager to experience each day.

I needed this advice, and I like the idea of looking at my meditation practice as a retreat and a reprieve from the everyday.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Nine of Swords and the Three of Swords.   Both of these cards themes deal with agonizing over different aspects, and it is that theme that I feel is the message in today’s draw.

The appearance of these cards in today’s draw is a message about being too much in my head and allowing that to take over.  The whole water issue in my building has really got me stressed out and I’m trying to stay calm about it, but especially after the collapse yesterday and the kid getting caught under the debris…. I’m just not dealing well.

Hell, I dreamed about her dying last night and me pulling her dead body out of the debris instead of a live and bawling little girl, traumatized and with broken arm, but otherwise okay.

I’m so lucky that the water didn’t really spread that far into my unit, just a bit in the kitchen, but it seems that the worry over what’s going on next door is really getting to me and I need to relax and let it go.  Everyone is okay… and it’s going to be okay.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I manage or release those expectations and leave room for growth?

Fey TarotReading Summary:  Connect with and rely on others (Two of Cups) rather than trying to “fight this battle alone” (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  The expectation from yesterday is that working with that new depth of emotion discovered last fall should be easy for me.  It’s not an expectation of the work, but rather an expectation of myself that I should be capable enough to deal with it without issue or problem.   It’s unrealistic, and I know that.

The cards in this read indicate that in order to release those expectations and leave room for growth, I need to accept it is not something I’m going to be able to do on my own, and I need not just be willing to ask for help… but actually do the asking instead of pushing myself to say “I’ve got this” and trying to struggle through it alone.

DECK USED:  FEY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #4

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  OOPS CRAP… I did Spread #5  So I will interpret this one for today, and then do Spread #4 next week in place of the one I’m doing today.

Card 1 – Too much focus on my business and the focus upon my goals concerning stability and financial independence.

Card 2 – I need to take more time in meditation and personal reflection, so that I can connect deeper and move beyond surface and/or superficial focal points. The tarot has more to offer me than it can provide when limited to those topics.

Card 3 – I try to hard to empower my client during their reading, and that can sometimes cause the message to become diluted and thus do the opposite of what was intended.

Take Away:   When reading for myself… look deeper. Use my meditation as a tool to find those deeper threads and follow them into deeper waters of my life and psyche.  The cards are essentially saying that I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut.

When reading for others, remember that sometimes the message being conveyed needs to be blunt and/or sharp in order to really drill down into the mind of the client.  Sometimes providing explanation does not assist in empowerment, but is a detriment to it.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need for a successful year?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary: Impassioned focus upon my goals (Princess of Staves) will overcome adversity (Five of Swords) and allow me to find a more stable center for pursuit of my ambitions (King of Staves), even in times of struggle (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  The things that I want to accomplish this year are going to require going through a good deal of strife and struggle along the way.  In order to succeed and move through these issues, I need to hold tight to my exploratory spark in relation to my passions and work at keeping that spark not just lit and alive, but also stable and controlled.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Rule of Three – Story Time

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Pull at least three cards and use them to explain…
…and that’s why dividing by three is illegal.

Forest Creatures Tarot

There was once a fairy princes that always longed for adventure and spent much time looking out at the horizon beyond the Lands of Faerie daydreaming about the day she could take off and find her own adventures. (Two of Wands)

With her friend, the Blue Jay, she made fantastic plans of where she wanted to go and all of the things that she wanted to do.  They discussed the world beyond the Lands of Faerie and the Blue Jay told the fairy princess many stories about how fantastic and adventurous life was beyond the horizon’s veil. (Three of Wands)

One day, after a particularly trying bit of conflict with her father, the fairy princess had had enough, and she began making plans to leave the Lands of Faerie for the world beyond the veil.   With her friend, the Blue Jay, she plotted her course and then slipped sneakily free of the big wise Oak her family had called their home for centuries.  (Eight of Cups)

Together they traveled a long distance, further and far beyond any she’d traveled before.  She trusted the Blue Jay to keep her safe and guide her way, but when they reached the veil and the gate that would lead beyond it, she was confronted by the gate keeper.

He asked her if this is what she really wanted?  If she abandoned the Land of Faerie, she would not be allowed to come back.   He set before her nine walnut shells and told her to choose only one.  That the answer would be hidden beneath the walnut shell, if she would turn it over to look. (The Hierophant)

Instead, she divided the nine into three and turned them over to reveal the hidden objects within.  In one was a teardrop.   Another held a gold coin.  In the third was a locket that held  pictures of her family inside.

Believing this meant that she was destined to go through the veil, she darted forward through the opening and through the veil, casting Faerie aside forever… and disappeared into the ether of nevermore.

And in the Land of Faerie, this is why it is illegal to divide by three.  For if the princess had chosen just one walnut shell, she would have received the locket alone.  A locket filled with memories to remind her of all that is good.   Instead, she chose three, and the message was confused in the translation… and she was lost to her family and the Land of Faerie forevermore. (Nine of Swords)

DECK USED: FOREST CREATURES TAROT

Snowflakes and Drummers

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and, as with yesterday, I again incorporated it into my yoga/physiotherapy.

I’m sort of wondering if the reason I don’t get as much out of the meditation practice done during my physio is because I am focused upon my body instead of upon a positive message.   The guided meditations, on the other hand, provide a focus for the meditation that is always positive in some way.

Seven of Swords - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Swords, although what I see in this card today is not the traditional meaning, but rather speaks of individuality.

Conformity is not really my thing. In this card, there is a clear message of conformity on the right, and a clear indication of non-conformity on the left.   What I see here in this depiction is that non-conformity “breaks the mold”.

I don’t think that’s a bad thing, though.  Yes, it shakes things up and can cause a few “Tower Moments” along the way, but in the end, it’s the non-conformists in the world that create diversity and add flavor to life. It’s okay to be different.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What expectations about 2020 am I clinging to?

The Lost Forest Tarot

Reading Summary:  That I’m going to go after this new depths of emotions (Knight of Oceans) and find a clear path forward (Three of Fire) that will allow for growth and integration (Two of Skies).

Take Away:  That new depth of emotion from the fall is very intimidating to me, and I’ve had a hard time getting over my fear to make it through to exploring and working with them since the new year.  I’ve been stewing in that worry and the expectation that it should be easy for me.  It’s not a rational expectation, but there you have it.

DECK USED:  THE LOST FOREST TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you bring more of what you want into your world?

Maregician Tarot

Reading Summary:  Rest and recuperation (Four of Spades), balance (Justice) in my judgements on myself and my values and performance (Judgement).  Without it three are consequences (Three of Spades).

Take Away:  I need to remember to take care of myself and not judge myself so harshly.  Balance is an important factor in self care, and in life as a whole.  In order to manifest more good things, though, self care is just as important as hard work and productivity.   Without that balance, shit starts to fall apart.

DECK USED:  MAREGICIAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need in order to make my week successful?

Wheel of Fortune Tarot by Ivy Feng

Reading Summary: Uncertainty (The Moon) comes with being distracted in the past (Six of Cups).  Better to focus on what lies ahead (Wheel of Fortune) and spend time creating balance between myself and others (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’ve been having a lot of dreams of the past lately.  Specifically concerning the incidents that happened on both my bathroom, then later my kitchen floors. Those memories bring with them a lot of vulnerability, and that vulnerability can breed a degree of uncertainty.   The cards are indicating if I want to have a more successful week, be sure to set those dreams and memories aside as best that I can, and focus instead on the present and future, and on connecting with others in my life so that we can lean on each other and support each other along the way.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF FORTUNE TAROT BY IVY FENG

 

Steady As You Go

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and again was incorporated into my yoga practice.  I know that I don’t get as much out of it when I do it this way, but sometimes it’s just easier, and better than not doing it at all. It’s a good compromise for those days when I probably would have otherwise skipped the meditation practice all together, or tried to put it in at the end of the day, where I get far less from it than doing it with my yoga.

King of Swords - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality or person in the area of thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication.  This often presents itself as dominance and authority with a side of mental clarity and strong intellectual power.

The King of Swords appearance in today’s draw is a reminder that even with the sense of chaos that new emotions and a new depth of emotions brings with it, I am still capable of being level and grounded in my thinking.  It is a reminder to not allow the emotions to run away with my brain, because I need a balanced center to help me work with and learn from those emotions rather than just experience them without benefit and growth.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How should I approach failures and roadblocks in pursuit of my goals?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  These cards are about security (First Card) and comfort (Second card), and remembering to keep an undercurrent of warmth (Fourth Card) in the face of jagged cold (Third Card).

Take Away:  Road blocks and failures always feel cold to me.  The cards here are a reminder that when you come up against these obstacles in pursuit of my goals, I need to remember to stay grounded, and take comfort in the familiar.   Don’t allow myself to fall into a mindset of degradation against myself, as is so often my first response when things feel like they are falling apart.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a negative thing in your life that you don’t need to stress over?

Vindur Tarot

Reading Summary:  I worry about delving headlong (Knight of Wands) into the new emotions and depths of them I’ve been discovering since last august (The Fool atop the Six of Cups) and how this may change my values in the long run (Ten of Swords atop Judgement).

Take Away:  To be fair, this is more of an intuitive hit off the cards than at all associated with traditional meaning.  It has to do with that depth of emotions that I discovered in the fall, and a worry that in exploring them it might change my values into something more difficult to discern or follow.   Emotions are tricky and unstable things and I don’t particularly want them to have an influence on my moral compass and values.  Considering the question for this reading, the cards are saying that that isn’t something I need to worry about.

DECK USED:  VINDUR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to know to make a change for the better today?

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: I am stronger than I think (Strength).  I just need to remember to stay grounded within my pursuits (Knight of Pentacles) and “count my blessings” (Ten of Cups).

Take Away: Even as I push myself to always do better and better, I underestimate myself all the time.  It’s a contradiction instilled within me by my parents.  Perfection is not good enough… you have to do even better.  This read is a reminder that perfection lives within imperfection, not despite of it.  I am strong and capable, I just need to remember not to let things get out of hand when I’m pursuing my goals and to practice gratitude and appreciation for all that I currently have.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#10UnusualThingsAboutMe (non)VR to The Hermit’s Cave

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Recently, Simon over at the Hermit’s Cave on YouTube did a video about “10 Unusual Things About Me” that, just this last Saturday he revisited in his Cuppa Catchup and Cards live to expand on.   I loved this idea, although I’ve had a LOT of trouble coming up with ten.  But, I did finally make it, so I thought I’d share.

Suc

1)  My absolute favorite treat is Orange Vanilla Swirl ice cream while eating Cheetos Puffs. 

Contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with the color.   I just like the two flavors together.  It’s really good.

2)  I am a non-theist.

A lot of people have a hard time understanding how I can be a Pagan but also a non-theist.  Essentially, I worship the earth and the energies of the earth, focusing specifically on the energies of creation, evolution, and balance.

As for why…. I grew up in a Wiccan/Buddhist household, and was raised under those faiths, but the deity aspect always felt unnecessary to me. I don’t feel a connection to deity or even a kinship to the idea of deity. I never have, even as a child.  It just didn’t feel right. So once I left my parent’s home, I phased that aspect out of my practice in order to better fit my faith to me.

3) I can whisper, but I cannot speak.

I am mute due to injury to my trachea and larynx that happened during a home invasion.  I cannot whisper loudly, but I can whisper.  It does not carry well, and from what I understand it’s pretty inscrutable over the phone (it just sounds like a disrupted exhale), but in a quiet and intimate setting?  It works.

4) I prefer to do my divination outdoors and barefoot.

This is about balancing my energy, as I get a far better connection to the earth and its grounding energies if my feet are not encased in shoes.  It’s not necessary, but it is my preference.

5)  I am 100% certain of the existence of the Fae.

This is not a belief, but a certainty. The Fae are not tiny beautiful humanoid creatures full of love and light. If you are interested, take a look at the Faeries’ Oracle by Brian Froud and you will get a small sampling idea of the vast array of different Fae in the world.

6)  I put potato chips inside my meat sandwiches.

Plain potato chips, sour cream and onion chips, barbecue chips, Doritos (cool ranch or regular cheese), Sun Chips….. there’s a variety of different kinds I’m willing to use.  But I like them IN the sandwich so that I get the crunch and flavor when I take a bite.

7) For public safety, I cannot listen to public radio while driving.

I have synesthesia, which means that there are some wires crossed in my brain that (in my case) causes my senses to sometimes interpret sounds as (most commonly) physical sensation, and occasionally as having a flavor or scent.

When driving, I listen to pre-screened music from off of my phone that I know I will not have negative reactions to.  Public radio does not give me that ability to pre-screen the songs, which means when listening to it I run the risk of having an uncomfortable or even painful twitch or reaction to something in the music (or commercials, for that matter) that could cause me to end up having an accident.

8) Even though I am mute, I don’t speak ASL (sign language).

Honestly?  I did try to learn it at first, but it’s pretty damn useless, or at least feels that way to me.  I don’t know any deaf people, and nobody I know or run across has a clue how to speak or understand ASL.   So, because of that I haven’t bothered to learn it.

Instead, I tend to communicate through typing words into a document on my phone or  using text-to-speech apps, and I carry a small memo pad with me the majority of the time in case my phone’s battery dies.

9) I have leaves on the bottom of my feet.

I used to be a cutter, which was one of the ways I dealt with negative emotions and thoughts directed for myself.  I did not cut my arms or legs, or anything like that.  Instead I had a “cutting kit” of Xacto blades and first aid supplies, and I used these tools to cut vine and leaf designs into the bottoms of my feet, which scarred into a permanent (if incomplete) scarification.

A handful of years ago, I stopped cutting as a way to deal with emotions, and I gifted my cutting kit to you for safekeeping.  I have no doubt you still have it.  I have not done any cutting on myself since.

10) I deconstruct my food.

This is something I have always done, but I’m not sure when it started or why.  This is especially prevalent when it is food that I enjoy and want to savor.   I like to take the food apart (usually with my hands) and enjoy each element of it individually.  If it’s something I’ve had before, I will then organize which part I eat first to last depending on what I like least to the part I like most.