Month: June 2020

Patience Can Be Progress

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was tagged on to the end of my yoga session.  I needed a little extra time stretching today, so instead of taking time aside from my yoga, I extended my yoga practice and incorporated the meditation into it with the addition of some breathing and focusing exercises.

Japaridze TarotToday’s draw is the King of Gardens (King of Pentacles) which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of measured authority, abundance earned through self discipline, business acumen, and financial/resource security.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card this morning is the blue/black hue of the figure’s face and that the folds on the back of the head looked like a different face to me… and I am left confused. Honestly, the imagery in this card is much like the imagery in the Hermit card in this deck.  Confusing and a bit too random and abstract.  Even in the aspect that I picked out of this card, I really am at a loss.

So, going by the traditional meaning of the card rather than off of the imagery, what I see as the  message in today’s card is a reassurance of sorts.   It is a reassurance that I am doing all I can at this time to provide stability and security in my home to those that depend on me, as well as for myself.

No, my mortgage is definitely not getting paid off at the rate I would prefer it to be, but at the same time?  I am still managing to keep up on it.  I’m still managing to keep everyone safe, and put food on the table, and keep us all in the resources we need to be healthy and happy.  Today’s card is a reminder to acknowledge for myself that I’m doing a good job.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with ambiguity?

Tarot of the Animal Lords

Reading Summary: By not getting frustrated (the cage in the Three of Swords), but instead treating it with understanding (Queen of Chalices) and patience (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Usually, ambiguity frustrates me, and that creates a divide between me and the source of that ambiguity.  Instead, if I confront this behavior with understanding, it will create a deeper connection with the source of that ambiguity which will facilitate the potential for progress, while patience will help in getting where I want to go regardless of the wishy-washy bullshit. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE ANIMAL LORDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better connect with my inner adolescent?

Bleu Cat TarotReading Summary: I am not really all that connected at all with my inner adolescent, which is where the Death card comes into this spread, as it is an indication that I will have to enact change in order to find that connection.

The Queen of Fishes with the Magician indicates that I need to take the emotional growth and lessons I’ve learned lately and use them as tools to apply to the cause (Eight of Balls).

Stalker note… the Queen of Cups seems to be getting very friendly with me this week.

Take Away:  I never really had much of an adolescence.  I was too busy being an adult.  Because of the suppression of this part of my development, I’ve never had much of a connection to this highly underdeveloped side of myself.  The cards here indicate that if I want to have a connection there, it will require long term commitment to the changes needed and using my emotional skills to build that bridge.  

Honestly?  I don’t think that I am yet at the stability phase of my current emotional growth to where I’m prepared to try and make that connection.  Not yet anyway.

DECK USED:  BLEU CAT TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Draw a card for someone who taught you a lesson.

Tarot SireneReading Summary:  I didn’t specify the person, but rather used the cards to tell me who the person is.   The person in these cards is my meth-head ex. His very selfish Knight of Cups pursuit of me landed him in the Justice system (thank the fuck).

Take Away:  So anyway, yeah.  This is him.  And the lesson here?  Listen to your inner compass when it tells you to step back.  I stuck around far too long and paid for it deeply. If I had listened to my instincts and inner compass?  I’d have dumped his ass a lot sooner and probably been able to circumvent the whole obsessive bullshit that followed.  Moral of the story?  Listen to your gut… don’t hesitate or procrastinate.  Just do it.

DECK USED:  SIRENE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I let go of?

Tarot Mood

Reading Summary: Using going to bars (Three of Cups) and alcohol (vodka reference in Temperance) to avoid crash-and-burn emotions (The Tower)

Take Away:  It used to be that when I was super upset, instead of grounding and spend time with my plants… I would drink. At those times vodka was my friend, and yet never really solved anything and the feel better was only temporary. After making the promise to you not to do anymore drinking (because I clearly only drink for the wrong reasons), I began using my balcony and the plants there as a refuge and for grounding during times of high distress.

DECK USED:  TAROT MOOD

 

Gideon’s Challenge

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KnowledgeKnowledge…

It is not straightforward
nor organized
It is tangled
and multifaceted.
Complex.
It must be untangled
just to be understood.
In combing out the strands
we find the each one
a treasure
to be added to our own
Pandora’s Box.

When we learn, it is a form of organization.  We take a jumble of information and we organize it into our minds in a way that creates its own sense.  Its own interconnections and meanings.   This is how knowledge is created, by the obtaining the tangled soruces of information and the de-tangling of those strands as we suss out meaning… and absorb it as our own.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Staying Open to Change

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another of the harp strings meditation sessions.   Another session that I had a bit of a struggle in concentrating, mostly because of the whole aggressive customer issue that was going on this morning and getting that dealt with.  I hate having to turn from kind and courteous customer service into that more firm and authoritative voice.

Anyway, it messed up my groove a little bit and because I was all stirred up and my brain was in “compose this message” mode, I really struggled at staying focused in the meditation today.

Herbal Tarot - Two of Pentacles - Yellow DockToday’s draw is the Two of Pentacles, which is traditionally interpreted as struggling with multiple priorities, the juggling of responsibilities, and finding balance (or being out of balance) between one’s obligations.

What stands out the greatest to me in the imagery of this card today is the combination of the yellow dock on the page, and the two sailboats off in the horizon.   The meaning of the sailboats in today’s message is twofold, as they speak both of freedom as well as adaptability and how, through that adaptability, freedom can be obtained.    The Rumex crispus is one I needed to brush up on, as I could only remember that it was a good cure for athletes food and edible in small quantities.

What I found is that the spiritual properties of Rumex crispus lies in the purging of what is no longer working for you, clearing out stagnancy in order to help strengthen what is left and allow for room and growth.     This message is very much in line with my current goals.

The message in today’s card is a reminder that I need to stay open to change in order for change to happen. If I close myself off, even if it’s subconsciously, it will effect my progress.  So stay present, stay aware, and stay open.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: What unconscious rhythms have settled into my life?

Brady Tarot

Reading Summary: This reading is about “greener pastures syndrome” and the fact that when I am feeling fulfilled, I can’t stay still.  The progression here is in the new shiny thing (Ace of Roots) that I learn and master (Nine of Cups) and as a result end up bored or frustrated (Eight of Cups) and ready to move on to the next new thing (Six of Arrows).

Take Away:  Actually, this isn’t an uncommon rhythm for me, but it is one that I’ve experienced again and again throughout my life (although, not as often as Z apparently *LOL* who is where I got the “syndrome” title from).   It has to do with interests only being interesting for as long as they are a challenge, but not so much of a challenge that you can’t conquer them.   So you fall into this pattern of finding interests and exploring them until you feel you’ve reached a level of expertise, and then going “meh” and discarding them for something else.  Fortunately, I have far more staying power than Z, although I do this often with my periphery interests. 

DECK USED:  BRADY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Philosophical Question: Is it easier to love or be loved?

Grimalkin TarotReading Summary:  In the center of this reading, we have a cat that stares adoringly at a firefly while the firefly is without any interest in the cat at all.  On one side, we have unrequited affection.  On the other we have homecoming and celebration shared with others.

Take Away:  In both scenarios (the right side and the left) there are emotions involved and in both the emotions involved include having “full cups” (even if on the left there are not as many full cups as you might desire.   I would say that, from these cards, it is better to love than to be loved.   I’m not entirely sure that I agree with that, but this is what the cards say to me.  They say that when you focus on your own heart, you will always have love… whereas if you focus on other’s hearts and love directed at you, you will always feel as if you are missing what you seek.

DECK USED:  GRIMALKIN TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Think of something you are proud of and draw a card for input.
Pride: Fostering stability and responsibility in my life.

Everyday Witch TarotReading Summary: The Queen of Swords (for once) did not immediately bring to mind my mother.  Instead, in this card she appears to be saying, “Good job.  Your independence is admirable. Keep it up.”   She is a reminder to listen to that good, strong, and proud inner voice that lives within me, and to not allow my inner critic to interject.

Take Away:  You are smart and resourceful. You can be the Queen of Wands without turning into your mother.

DECK USED:  EVERYDAY WITCH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What good habits do I have?

Tarot of Passing Showers

Reading Summary: The ability to look at personal hardships (Three of Swords) and find the positive (Hanged Man and Art).

Take Away:  In the Thoth tarot (which is the system this deck is based upon) the fourteenth card in the Major Arcana is not Temperance, but rather Art, and speaks of taking something mundane and turning it into something precious.  Balance also plays a part in this card, and when combined with the new perspectives presented in the Hanged Man’s card, it demonstrates how I approach the struggles and strife in my life… and how I heal from them.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF PASSING SHOWERS

Gideon’s Challenge

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StrengthStrength…

Sometimes,
it isn’t about
what you can do
on your own,
but rather
about what you
can accomplish
Together.

I am very much guilty of trying to take everything upon my own shoulders and not “bother” others with requests for help or assistance, even when I desperately need it.  Instead, I continue to pretend all is well, even as I drown under the weight of too much.

That is not strength.

Real strength comes in reaching out to others and allowing them in to help.  Real strength is about love and trust.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Weekly Creativity Prompt – Childhood Antics

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Draw up to three cards from your tarot (or oracle) and use them for guidance in choosing  something to share with us about your childhood.

IMG_4794The Emperor (Ego) –  Once when I was very young (around the age of 9 or 10) my sister and I decided to do an impromptu ritual in our front yard.   We had been doing our own rituals and spellcraft for quite some time, and we were both very confident in our abilities.

The Star (Elation) – We set  up everything outside and began our ritual.  Everything was going along great.  We had been very careful in our set up and things were going smoothly.

Justice (The Lesson) – Until I accidentally bumped the small makeshift altar we’d set up using a wooden stool, and one of the candles toppled off into the dry summer grass.  We were both barefoot and the little cup of water we had for offering didn’t put out the flames (which are incredibly difficult to SEE on dry grass in the middle of the day, by the way.  I had to run and untangle the hose, turn it on and then bring it back, because we were not prepared!   Half the yard burned before we managed to get the fire out.

Moral of the Story –  When preparing for ritual or spellcraft?  It’s not enough to prepare to do the ritual or spell.  You have to prepare for if things go wrong as well.   ie: If you’re playing with fire in the middle of a yard of dry grass?  Have the hose ready and the water already turned on.

DECK USED:  THE STITCH RABBIT TAROT

 

Plato’s Split Apart Theory of Soulmates

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and another of the harp strings meditation sessions.  It was uneventful and peaceful, and I got a really good stretch in through the process of it.  I’m still searching for a similar sound track that uses randomly plucked cello strings instead of harp strings. No luck yet, but I’m searching.

Japaridze TarotToday’s draw is the Two of Winds (Wands) which is traditionally a representation of coming to a crossroads and needing to take a moment to make a clear choice.  This impasse requires thought as the decisions here are not easy ones to make.

The imagery in this makes me think of a corrupted version of Plato’s split-aparts.

“Once, a long, long time ago, we all had four legs and two heads. And then the gods threw down thunderbolts and split everyone into two. Each half then had two legs and one head. But the separation left both sides with a desperate yearning to be reunited. Because they each shared the same sole. And ever since then, all people spend their lives searching for the other half of their soul.” – Plato

What strikes me the strongest is the two profiles coming together to become one face, and what that says to me in relation to this card is the necessity to gather information.  You need to have the full picture before you make a decision, as opposed to just going with your gut.

Today’s card is a reminder that the best decisions are informed decisions. Yes, intuition is a great thing, but it doesn’t lead the way on everything and sometimes you have to do the work (and the homework) to make sure that you are making the right choices for you.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: What in my life am I not seeing clearly?

The Crystal Tarot

Reading Summary: The. temptation (The Devil) to pretend that everything is fine (Nine of Cups connected to the Devil) is very strong, but I need to remember that it’s okay  for things to not be fine sometimes (Five of Pentacles) and there are others in my life waiting and eager to help me through those times (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  I do that.   A lot.   I have a habit of not allowing others to see when I’m struggling, and pretending to the point that even I can’t tell when shit is not “all okay”. I don’t do it as pervasively as I used to, but that tendency is still there to “fake it til you make it” when it comes to how I’m doing and whether or not I need help.   The cards here are indicating I need to pay more attention to this tendency and work on calling myself out on it more often while leaning on others to help me through instead of just trudging on solo.

DECK USED:  THE CRYSTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to help my inner child feel more protected?

Linestrider TarotReading Summary: Keep alive those feelings from my youth (Six of Cups) that made me feel warm and safe (Three of Cups), and don’t allow current thoughts and worries (Nine of Swords) to overtake and cloud those feelings and memories.

Take Away:  This reading echos back to the reading about the little red corvette and talk with my mother when I was sixteen.  It speaks of the fact that that memory still holds those positive memories within it that felt good at that time… even though in the here and now I can see the machinations involved.   Yet, those good feelings live on, even if there is no basis for them to be valid.

The cards here indicate that to help my inner child feel more connected, I need to keep those good memories like that, and the feelings attached to them, alive and well instead of deconstructing and/or invalidating them.

DECK USED:  LINESTRIDER TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: How can I positively keep investing in myself?

Simply Deep Tarot

Reading Summary: Note the color connection between the Devil and the Two of Coins, creating a dominant theme between them, that is then reduced to being only a small element in the Ten of Cups (the green cup).

Keep on top of that temptation (The Devil) that makes you want to balance more than you’re ready for (Two of Coins) so that you can create for yourself a more fulfilling existence. Color coordination between the first two cards versus the last card where only one cup is green.

Take Away:  I can keep investing positively in myself by remembering my commitment to finding a better way of juggling my responsibilities that allows for more “down time” and more time enjoying life rather than pushing myself harder and harder.

DECK USED:  SIMPLY DEEP TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How have I grown?

Stone Marseille Tarot

Reading Summary: Learning how to better silence my inner voice when it goes into attack mode (Knight of Swords Rx) and to ask for help  (Two of Cups) instead of taking it all on myself. Understanding and accepting (Page of Swords) that a rebuild is needed in creating a healthier method of stability (Ace of Coins).

Take Away: A lot of cards in today’s readings are about that new method and the restructuring of how I go about balancing self care with my responsibilities and obligations.   It feels like this message has really come forward the last few days, and I think the constant reminders are because I need constant reminders right now as the pandemic restrictions start to lift.

DECK USED:  STONE MARSEILLE TAROT