A Hole of My Own Making

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and forty three seconds, and focused on concentration. It had an interesting notation from a scientific journal, which of course I can’t remember the name of right now, that said that in this digital age when everyone is so distracted and pulled in so many different directions all of the time, even a goldfish has better focus than most people.

It encouraged working on developing one’s concentration in order to not just live a more mindful life, but also foster healthy relationships and activities.

Today’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which Is a representation of tests, trials, and “harshness” in the area of money, resources, and the physical world.

“During the winter months, all living things are challenged to survive until spring.” – Journey Into the Hidden Realms by Barbara Moore

I’ve been a bit more “spendy” The normal lately. It’s pretty much a bit of splurging on myself combined with wiping away some little inconveniences by spending a little bit more to avoid them. Things such as eating out more than usual instead of packing food along, purchasing groceries already partially prepared, skipping trips to the food bank, etc which has been combined with indulgences such as buying brand name foods instead of the generics, purchasing a deck or a book here and there that I would normally have held off on, etc.

As a whole, this behavior has created a bit of a deficit for me and my finances, which in turn inspires a bit of an “oh fuck” mentality.

The five of pentacles is an indication that I need to take a mindful look at the small hole that I’ve dug for myself and am currently sitting in. Remember how I got here, and correct the behavior.

The card’s appearance is also a reminder that, like all things, this too will be temporary and I will move past it in time and recover from it. This may involve the necessity of asking for help, such as requesting my hours to be adjusted at work, getting back in the habit of going to the food bank regularly, and perhaps seeing if J is willing to pitch in for a bit with grocery money.

One thought on “A Hole of My Own Making

  1. You will make your way out of the hole very quickly, my love. You’ve handled much bigger hurdles under much more trying conditions.

    This one will be cake

    I love you man. Always


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