These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Five of Wands and Cardamom – Obviously, I am still quite worked up over the whole PayPal thing that happened last week. The cards here indicate that I need to work on seeing beyond the feelings of being picked on and the injustice that I feel happened here, and move on to finding a clear path forward. Clarity is needed, and you cannot have clarity when you are still wallowing in shit or trying to stand your ground against impossible odds.
Air – Page of Pentacles and Yarrow – Again, we are on the topic of what happened with PayPal and how my emotions were affected by this event. The thing is though, the Page of Pentacles here indicates that working forward towards a better solution will serve me far better and the Yarrow promises that in doing this I will heal those wounds along the way. Focus forward… not back.
Water – The Magician and Basil – Through your emotional growth in journey, you have learned the tools you need to move past this issue and restore yourself back to balance once more. You need to lean on these tools that you have learned, instead of allowing yourself to fall into old, unhealthy habits. With depression knocking on my door, this vote of encouragement is about more than just my upset with PayPal, but also the onset of depression trying to creep up and drag me in.
Fire – Page of Cups and Lime – Be sure to introduce a mindset of creative play into your work and business, and it will help refresh your perspective and help you see your work in a new light so that it doesn’t once again begin to feel like a chore.
Waning – A Blessing of Airmid atop A Blessing of Dreams – Earthly concerns outweighing your dreams. Now isn’t a time to get weighed down. Daydreams and lollygagging are absolutely not just allowed, but essential.
Waxing – A Blessing of the Wild Within – Although your ankle is not yet fully healed, make some time to take an easy path through wooded areas that will let your true inner nature flourish. Spend some time lying in the moss and gazing up at a canopy of leaves overhead. Visit with those of the green and forest that come to greet you, drawn by that inner root that connects you with them.
Take Away – A large part of the message in this reading is that I need to let go of what happened with PayPal and work on easing the anxieties, worries, and depression that was triggered by the emotional upheaval I experienced. To do this I need to make sure that I am looking forward instead of wallowing, and making sure that I get out in nature so that I can have some time of grounding and healing among the earth and the green and those that rustle among the leaves.
Twisting the Leaf 
There are ALOT of Paypal horror stories out there, babe. Alot.
You are not alone in what happened and it’s absolute bullshit. I know it was unfair and it fucked you up because of that not even telling you what you did wrong stuff…But I think you need to try and just…be glad that it happened like this and not when your business was all reliant on it. Be glad you didn’t have a bunch of money sitting in account for them to freeze and hold.
It sucks what they did, but maybe it’s for the good, yeah? Because they could do so much worse and you got out before that could happen.
I know I will never trust them again
Let it go, babyboy. Leave it behind you and step forward. It’s all going to be okay, and for the best.
And this depression? You keep fighting, keep holding onto me and we’re going to get past this too and leave it behind as well.
You’ve got this. And I’m right here with you.
I also think a little time in the trees would be good for you, just take it easy on the ankle.
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