Month: May 2021

Hesitation and Procrastination

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Today’s meditation was another valiant effort without much success on the meditation front.  I laid down twice to try and meditate and both times phone calls forced me to break off after only a minute or two in.  The first time I got pulled in to work.  The second time was my mother.

Floriography Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Devil card, which is traditionally a representation of temptations, addictions, and the quandary that we get ourselves in when we go “too deep” into something we (at least initially in some way) enjoy.

Are you holding back because something you want in life is unhealthy for you? Or are you holding back because you’re scared? When we hesitate… what is the motivation behind that restraint?

If there’s something that you want, and you evaluate whether it’s healthy for you or not, and whether or not you can handle the “addiction factor”. If you evaluate all these things and you find that it’s safe to move forward anyway, even if it’s unconventional or something just for you… Then why not? Why are you hesitant?

We often tell ourselves that the things we want have to wait because it’s “not the right time”. We put off happiness enjoy in order to focus on goals and responsibilities. But as the Flower Fortune card says… “If not now, then when?”

The message in today’s cards is about looking before you leap… and then leaping once you’ve looked.  It’s time to examine why you’re hesitating.

DECK USED:  FLORIOGRAPHY TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 21st & 22nd

Blood Moon TarotWhat role does love play in my life?
The Empress and The Hermit

Love is nurturing and supportive, even in times when you’re sinking into solitude. It’s always there. Even when you’re not reaching out for it.  It’s unconditional and patient.

These things make love a reassurance, and a refuge whether you are with those people that love you or not.

How can I better enhance love in my life?
The Fool, Three of Honey, Strength

Be more “free” and unrestrained with those closest to you with whom life is a collaboration. Together you are stronger than apart.

DECK USED:  BLOOD MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: In what ways are you unhappy with who you are now?

Floriography TarotReading Summary: I want to be more comfortable with my emotions (Queen of Cups), and I want to feel like I’m not sacrificing control in that process (Emperor). As it is now, I am feeling uninspired and out of control in my creative endeavors, restless and ready to restructure (Ace of Wands atop The Tower).

Take Away: As my COTD indicated for today, I am hesitating in taking the leaps needed to get things on track both with my inspiration and my creativity.  I just… feel like I’m not rested enough?  Even coming out of having had a week off, I still feel like I’m wrung out and don’t have the energy to do the work involved right now.

On top of that, is the fact that in my emotional growth I’m in a place where emotions still feel completely unstable and unpredictable. I’m not someone that enjoys instability and so it’s a struggle for me to allow for that fluidity in something that can have such a strong influence on my perceptions and my life.

DECK USED:  FLORIOGRAPHY TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Orange Ceamcicle ice cream and Cheetos Puffs.  Need I say more?

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_1622The Bounty

Soft and fuzzy
nice and warm
protection given
a peaceful promise
sworn
brew some tea
with purple petals
and hang
green leaves
to dry to brittle
garden gifts
for health and home
precious treasures
I have grown

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Don’t Squeeze Too Tightly

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  I did actually try to meditate, laid down and put myself into position for the stretches, got the meditation timer going, the whole deal.  But I couldn’t sit still.  So I struggled with it for about five or six minutes then gave up and went to go get myself some food.

Conference of the Birds Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of stability, conservation, scarcity issues, control, jealousy (not to be confused with envy), and miserly behavior.

The bird stands on the coin demanding it remain where it is, it’s theirs and they don’t want it taken away.  Sometimes when we get too focused on holding on to what we have, we forget to stay open and receptive to what others have to say. We essentially “close ranks” and become overly controlling.

The problem with this behavior is that it closes us off from others.  Communication becomes limited.  When communicating with others, yes, as the Flower Fortune card says today, “the most important thing with communication is to listen to what isn’t being said”.  But there’s no way to hear what isn’t being said if there’s no communication at all.

The message in today’s cards today is that no matter how important something is or how possessive you feel about it, you need to make sure you don’t become so territorial and guard it so jealously that you shut others out and close yourself off.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: Start of Gemini – How can I more effectively communicate and express myself this season?

White Numen TarotReading Summary: The opinion of others (Six of Wands) is fickle (Wheel of Fortune), so don’t look in that direction. Instead focus on your own perceptions of yourself and not being too hard on yourself (Judgement).

Take Away: The advice here is about making sure that you aren’t allowing your worry about what others might think to silence you or cause you to adjust how you say what lands on your tongue.  Just be yourself and be true to who you are and what you want from yourself and your path, everything else will fall into place on its own.  Public opinion is too unpredictable to base…. well, pretty much anything on, and that includes the value of your own words and communication.

DECK USED:  WHITE NUMEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where in life do you need to “step up” and do better?

Conference of the Birds TarotReading Summary: Taking action to further your desires and dreams (Knight of Cups). Dive deeper (The Hanged Man) and enlist others in the cause (Three of Cups).

Note: These cards all depict water fowl, and this is not a water fowl deck… it’s a bird deck. This means that the Cups theme carries over into all of the cards in the reading and intertwines them together as one.

Take Away:  Sometimes, a journey taken alone ends up no journey at all.  Where I need to step up and do better is in making sure that I’m allowing others in and enlisting their help in furthering my dreams and desires.

The issue here is in  how I view enlisting their help, and I need to look for a better perspective on this so that it’s something that cam become more natural and less forced.  With their help, I can then go further and do more, and realize the dreams that right now are hovering just out of reach.

DECK USED:  CONFERENCE OF THE BIRDS TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I switched Gideon and I from play to IMs when I started feeling lost and vulnerable instead of trying to “tough it out” and keep playing.

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_4238Temptation Needed

Bribery works
when nothing else will
when tastebuds
say
“no thanks, not today”
and there’s nothing
appealing enough
to lead you astray
a trip to the bakery
might do the trick
and some Heckboy tea
to sit and sip

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Reconnect With Your Soul

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Ink Stained Tarot - Reconnecting With Your Soul Tarot Reading

Card to describe my soul.

Nine of Cups – Satiated and comfortable.  Happy.  Content in a solitary state.  Not especially social and more than content to enjoy things on your own without a lot of friends or interaction with others.  Maybe a bit greedy about that happiness in that you don’t particularly want to share it with others at this time but instead enjoy it at your own pace on your own terms.

How I can quiet my thoughts.

Two of Swords – If you would be more decisive when things are bothering you instead of letting them niggle around in your head,  you would have far fewer thoughts running around in your head to pester you all the time.  There is a difference between pausing to get more information, and hesitating because you don’t want to make a decision.

How I can better trust my intuition.

Nine of Wands – Sometimes you stand in your own damned way and it’s not helpful in the least. This ties into the advice above.  You teach that intuition is the instant whisper that comes first, and thought comes after to mess it all up and create uncertainty.  Stop allowing time for thought to hop in and have a say.  Make the decision when the whisper comes and use thought to strategize instead of allowing it to cast doubt.

Why I should speak my truth.

Eight of Swords – It is only through truth both to ourselves and to others that our eyes can be opened to the world around us and we can move through life sure-footed.  There are too many illusions and obstacles to trip over when you are not honest with yourself and others. Life is hard enough without adding more struggles to the journey.

Something about myself I need to accept.

Strength – You are stronger than you think you are. It isn’t just your body that is strong and resilient, but your inner core as well. This strength shows in how others relate to you. You are not as inept at social graces as you feel that you are.

Something about myself I need to embrace.

Page of Cups – Your creative spark is always going to be there. Yes, the mundane business crap still has to be done, but don’t sink yourself so deep into that stuff that you lose the joy that comes with exploring your creativity and taking it in new directions.

How I can be the best version of myself.

The Hierophant – Share. Share yourself. Share your experiences. Help others see what it’s like to choose your own path and forge your own way. Encourage them to do the same. It is when you are helping others find their unique path that you feel the most centered and happy.

A message from the soul.

The World – Keep going.  Keep moving forward.  Keep striving to be better and do better. Life is a journey and it isn’t the end you need to put all your focus on. Instead, focus more on the steps along the path that gets you there.

DECK USED:  INK STAINED TAROT

Earning Wishes

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IMG_1571Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and was one of the Calm app guided meditations with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches.  I’m actually a bit surprised I managed to do the meditation today since I slept when I got home from the farm today. The girls gave me a bit of space, though and it was nice.

The focus of today’s meditation was about taking a pause when in the middle of reacting to something so that you can react in a better, calmer, more focused manner rather than just lashing out or popping off.  The method in teaching to focus on the pause was to pay attention to that moment of pause between one’s inhales and exhales.  That moment when one turns to the other.   It reminded me of how I calm when I am crying and it has gotten out of control.

Although this type of emotional outburst is extremely rare (I think the last time was when Meanie died), it has happened.  When it happens and I’m worked up and breathing hard and bawling, I calm my self by hitching in a breath and holding it.  Letting the stillness of the silent lack of air to create a pause.  Done repeatedly, it can help immensely in bringing things back under control. This is apparently something I have done since I was a toddler.

Heroine Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Page of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, communication, and instincts.

Creative thinking and the expansion of one’s consciousness and intellect is the theme of the Page of Swords.  Here in this imagery we see the classic figure holding a sword, but without the experience and confidence (and attire, in this case) to wield it efficiently.  She has much to learn yet, and the opportunity before her to learn it.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states “Your wish will come true”, what we see here is a message that when you put your focus on learning what you need to learn and expanding in the direction you want to go in, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.   Sometimes that means you need more education, or more experience, or need to explore things more in depth to find the path to those wishes and goals… but where there’s a will there’s a way.  As long as you’re willing to put in the work to learn, to expand, and even fail and try again… you will eventually succeed.

DECK USED:  THE HEROINE TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Questions for May 19th & 20th

Love and Mystery TarotWhat role does admiration play in my life?
The Moon, The World, Eight of Pentacles

In this life, admiration often feels like a form of reassurance that things are headed in the right direction and your skills are continuing to improve.  Anything you put your effort into, it is through the admiration of others that we discover sometimes just how big a feat what we’ve learned and accomplished actually is.  It’s easy to discount our progress when left without that external input to help us realize how far we’ve come, and in turn sometimes encourage us to keep going.

How can I better enhance admiration in my life?
Three of Cups, Six of Swords, Ace of Wands

In order to enhance admiration in your life, it’s important to continue to share your work with others.  Sometimes it is only through their eyes that you can see your own progress.  Keep trying out new things and pursuing new interests and passions, for it is only through this pursuit of new methods and ideas, and the exploration of new techniques and concepts, that we can continue to grow and advance in our skills and abilities.

DECK USED:  LOVE AND MYSTERY TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Can achieving nothing make a person happy?

Heroine TarotReading Summary: Content and comfortable (Four of Wands), but there are no happy memories to look back on (Six of Cups Rx) and there is no hope looking forward (The Star Rx).

Take Away: The answer laid out within these cards is a “No”.

Although people can be content and comfortable without achievement, without a past filled with memories to look back upon and enjoy, or a future filled with hopes and dreams to look forward to, there can be no joy and thus no true happiness.

DECK USED:  THE HEROINE TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I had a good sleep after getting home from the farm today.  I also dismantled my (very rusted) barbecue on the balcony and got rid of it.  After the power washing of the exterior of the building (including my balcony) next month, I’ll go shopping for a new one to replace it.  I want to get something a bit smaller next time.