Month: May 2021

Success and Good Fortune

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Today’s meditation was not timed, and was done during my trip to the wetlands this morning.  I arrived just before dawn and spent an hour or so there, watching the sun come up and listening to the birds as they awakened and became busy in the start of their day.  The meditation was peaceful and quiet, and I spent a good part of my visit walking the trails, and the rest of it sitting on one of the pier stops along the way enjoying the fresh air and birdsong while watching occasionally movements in the water indicating frogs or some other wildlife was active just beneath the surface.

Tarot of Wishmaster Manikins and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Six of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of either the seeking of or obtainment of public accolades. It’s a card that is all about success, whether it’s what you’re striving for or what you’ve achieved, and the public side of being admired, praised, or otherwise recognized for those successes.

There’s something interesting about this card specifically, as just yesterday I had almost used this deck and I’d picked it up then changed my mind.  Before putting it back down I gave it a shuffle, and this exact card popped out.  Being that I’d chosen to go a different path yesterday, I put the card back.

And here it is again.

Combined with the Flower Fortunes card today, whose advice is “Fortune favors the brave”, what I see in today’s cards is an encouragement not to let doubts and uncertainties hold you back from the things that you want out of life. Fortune isn’t the only thing that favors the brave, after all… so does success.  So if there’s anything that you are hanging back on due to fear or uncertainties?  It’s time to sort those fears and uncertainties out, and take that leap forward.  Be brave… and believe that you can succeed.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WISHMASTER MANIKINS AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
Question: What stops me from expressing my passions?

Alchemist's Garden Tarot

Reading Summary: Fear of losing (The Tower) the joy and fun that I can find in life (The Sun), or losing my way entirely (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  There are very few passions that I’m fearful of expressing. Of those that I am, the reason that I hold them back and “close to the vest” is due to fear.  The thing is, when you pursue your passions and bring them into fruition, this can often bring about drastic changes in your life.  And… like most people?  I struggle with change.  There is a sense of fear in the thought that this change might diminish the fun and success that I’ve managed thus far, or cause my deep roots and moral compass to somehow go awry.  When I hold back?  These are what I fear happening, and these are the things that hold me back in those moments.

DECK USED:  ALCHEMIST’S GARDEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you better express to loved ones how you feel about them?

Tarot of Wishmaster ManikinsReading Summary:  Slow down (Eight of Wands Rx) and pay closer attention (Eight of Swords). Lead the way toward their dreams (King of Wands) and involve them more in the process (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away: To better express to my loved ones how I feel about them, there are two things that they need from me.  The first is to make sure I’m slowing down and spending time with them.  Time that allows my attention to truly rest upon them instead of being distracted or blinded by other things and people.  My undivided attention.

Second is to ensure that when I am delegating work that I’m doing so in a fair and balanced manner, as well as ensuring that I’m keeping in mind their own passions in the process.  By sharing alike in the work, as well as the fun and play and enjoyment of the process, they feel appreciated and enthusiastic instead of just another “cog in the machine”.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WISHMASTER MANIKINS

Daily Self Kindness

I know that this is a repeat theme, but I toll a nap today instead of forcing myself to stay awake, even though what I really wanted was more time with Gideon.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Morning Serenade

Birds sweep through
air above water
following air currents
between dives
to catch hovering bugs
their song sweet
and bright
and welcoming
to blue skies
as the sun burns off
the film
of gauzy clouds
Inviting visitors
to sit and stay a while

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Morning Bonus Read – Planting Season

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“We are now officially starting the planting season. This week, do a reading to find out how to care for your fields. Include at least 3 specific questions.”

The Seeds: Continuing on my path of emotional growth, and slowly finding/adjusting to a better work/life balance that includes the self-care and self-kindness I need to be healthy and happy.

SINS Reborn Playing Cards Mentis EditionWhat issues should I be aware of as I plant the “seeds” of my future harvest?
Ten of Clubs, Seven of Hearts, Eight of Clubs

Make sure that you are not allowing yourself to pile on too much. You know how you get when you start doing things and investing in them, you pile on more and more under the influence of your enthusiasm until that weight becomes too much and causes the passion to then fizzle out as a result.  Don’t do that.

What care do my “seeds” need in order to grow?
Three of Hearts and Seven of Clubs

Make sure that you are not compromising your values and principles in times when you’re feeling low and out of sorts. Sometimes during those times, it feels like it really doesn’t matter if you say “fuck it” and let shit go that you shouldn’t let go.  The thing is?  It does matter, and you need to make sure you’re standing strong for that moral compass of yours even when you’re not really feeling all that strong at all.

What help should I expect to need to help these “seeds” flourish into abundance?
Five of Clubs, Jack of Spade, Queen of Hearts

The help you need is going to come from somewhere unsolicited and possibly unexpected.  There’s a fine line between taking someone as encroaching on what you believe to be your personal terrain, and someone trying to reach out and help.  Make sure, before you snap back at someone for offering their help, that you ensure they’re coming from a place of kindness. Don’t just jump in and lay your shit on them without taking a minute to learn where they are coming from and why.

DECK USED:  SINS REBORN PLAYING CARDS MENTIS EDITION

Negative Assumptions

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IMG_1231Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app, which I combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches and forearm flexor stretching.

I also had to take a slight break about half way through to write down some notes for today’s COTD, as sometimes perspectives come at inconvenient times and this was one of those.  I don’t have the memory retention needed to recall these thoughts later, so I paused to take them down, then continued with the meditation after.

The focus of today’s meditation was on empathy, and the difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy can sometimes be taken as an insult, because there’s no sharing of the feeling just “poor you, you feel like this”.   Where empathy is sharing an emotion, speaking from a place of sharing.  Sometimes when we empathize with others, we find ourselves in a place where we just don’t know what to say for this other person.  The meditation today included a reminder that it’s okay to simply say “I don’t know what to say, but I’m glad you told me / are sharing this with me / allowing me to share this time with you”.

Stolen Child Tarot and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Two of Zephyrs (Swords), which is traditionally a representation of looking inward for the wisdom to make difficult decisions, finding oneself at a crossroads, or trying to ignore the the need to make a decision which ends up in stagnancy and stewing.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the interaction between the rat and the vulture in the foreground. That combined with the “choose a child/egg” theme going on in the background speaks to me of conflict. Specifically inner conflict.

We’re starting a new affirmation deck today, and in the Flower Fortune card for today we see a prickly cactus that carries with it a feeling of caution and conflict combined with the words “The person you desire feels the same about you”. Actually… he loves me more. But that’s beside the point, because the actual message here is about our assumptions.  It’s about the assumption that someone wouldn’t feel the same… and how that assumption can hold us back from going after what we want, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a potential friendship, a job promotion, etc.

Today’s cards are about “predicting the future” by making negative assumptions, and how hope and positive thinking can help lighten that load of worry and fear, making the choice to go after what we truly want easier.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT AND FLOWER FORTUNE CARDS

LionHart’s Reap & Sow Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What thoughts, beliefs or feelings are hindering my growth?

Shapeshifter Tarot

 Feelings – Five of Pentacles – Recalcitrance.  The desire to close myself off from others, shirk away from society, and be alone all the time, whether it is healthy for me or not.  This is not healthy, but it is an urge that I feel more often than not.

Beliefs – Transcendence (Judgement) – That I have to do everything perfect and that my mistakes along the way are unforgivable and something that I have to carry with me always.  High expectations and demanding perfection in all things all the time is unhealthy.

Thoughts – The Sun – My perception of fun and play, happiness and success. Perhaps it is all far more simple and far less intense that I seem to always seem to think it’s supposed to be.  Maybe it’s not as big as it at first appears from the outside looking in.

DECK USED:  SHAPESHIFTER TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What value do you add to the lives of those around you?

The Stolen Child Tarot7 of Oak – Nurturing care blended with a heavy dose of patience. It really is only with myself that I am an impatient asshole. With others, I have far more patience and with those that live under my roof and I share my space with, that extends a good deal further. Two obvious examples of this include the fact that my sister moved in with me temporarily over a decade ago… and still living here, and then last year our childhood mentor was stuck with nowhere to go after they closed the borders due to the pandemic and has lived here for over a year now, waiting for restrictions to lift so that she can go home.

8 of Oak – Others that depend on me to help them with their own stability also depend on the skills I have spent time honing and perfecting. Spiders are the greatest of all architects, building unique and delicately precise structures in all sorts of spaces and areas. Like all skills, this is something that is part instinct and part practice.  My own skills are much the same, and when I find one that I excel at I use it to support not just myself but those that depend on me as well.

6 of Brine – Emotional support.  I may not be particularly skilled with interpreting and processing my own emotions, but I am a good listener and I have the ability to take in stride other’s emotions help them find the path back to calm once more after the torrent of their emotions has been released.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Although I really didn’t want to, I took a nap.  I wasn’t feeling all that great and the nap seems to have helped. I’m all kinds of bummed that they cut down another tree across the street.  That’s three now, and they cut all the branches off of another one on the side facing the lot that’s being worked on, but at least that tree is still standing.  For the time being anyway.  Although, I think once the building is constructed I won’t be able to see it anymore.

Gideon’s Challenge

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The Barrier

Time to slip
beyond the fronds
to dappled shade
and hushed spaces
filled with
moss draped surfaces
and damp earth
take a breath
and let the whispers
of hidden friends
skittering through
underbrush
tempt you deeper
among the trees

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Self Worth and Personal Values

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Today’s meditation was skipped because it’s orders day and I’m trying that new schedule I mentioned in a previous post.

Undersea Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Justice card, which is traditionally about “evening the scales” of life, repercussions as a result of one’s actions, and themes that have to do with law and the justice system. This is often known as the “backlash” card, whether that backlash is directed at you or somewhere else, and can often come up as a reminder to pay attention to what you’re doing and whether it has the potential for unpleasant consequences.

That last bit above is what I see in today’s card, especially when combined with the Thera-Pets card for today.

Sometimes when we’re feeling low or are having a hard time, it can be really difficult to stick to the demands of our values and moral compass. This is because when we are unable to value ourselves or see the impact we make upon the world around us, it can be difficult to see any value in our moral compass and what it has to say.  In the image we see the merman hold his sword high, the blade gleaming brightly in the sunlight.  I see this sword as those values, and that gleam of light upon it as our reminder of just how important our values and moral compass is… even when we’re feeling worthless.

The message here is in remembering that we have worth.  We -always- have worth, and our values have worth as well.  Don’t abandon them when feeling low, but instead seek out those that help you remember that you hold value. By remembering this, and by sticking to our values and moral compass even at our lowest… we avoid dropping the sword into the sea and perhaps accidentally cutting off our tail in the process.

DECK USED:  UNDERSEA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question: What role does frustration play in my life?

Rainbow Unicorn Tarot

Reading Summary: Frustration makes me act rashly (The Fool), and will compound upon itself (Ten of Wands) until I’m feeling beaten down and on the defensive (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  I think that this is pretty common for everyone.  I act at my most rash when I’m frustrated, because frustration creates impatience with myself and the world around me.  The problem is that there’s no real cap on this emotion.  It builds on itself and builds and builds.  Sooner or later it turns into a snarling mess of “leave me the fuck alone”.

DECK USED:  RAINBOW UNICORN TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What qualities do you possess that others value most about you?

Undersea TarotFive of Swords – My abilities at survival. This one is something that those closest to me value most.  It has to do with continue to keep moving, keep striving, and keep surviving even after serious hurdles and savage setbacks cut me off at the knees. Even then, I continue to survive and thrive.

Eight of Swords – My ability to pull away the blindfold. This is, most often, not an intentional thing or even a conscious one.  It involves speaking something that seems simple and mediocre, but ends up extremely profound and eyeopening to someone else.  It is how I ended up with Gideon… it is how I have managed to support many people I care about even while struggling with not being particularly skilled socially.  Most of the time I don’t even realize I’ve done it unless someone points it out later at some point.  I’ve had enough people make a point of letting me know it’s happened, though, to be aware that it is an ability, even if one hidden from my own eyes and awareness in the moment.

Ace of Tridents – My ability to inspire. I’m not a cheerleader… or much of any kind of leader, to be honest.  It’s not that sort of inspiration I speak of here.  But rather, it’s the ability to inspire people to explore their passions, to seek out what they enjoy and revel in it, and to dive into those things that spark interest and enthusiasm.

DECK USED:  UNDERSEA TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I called and made an appointment to talk to my doc over the phone tomorrow about some concerns I need eased before I’ll be ready to get vaccinated.