Promises Realized
Spring comes
with bursts of color
and scents
of thawed earth
and warming winds
As tulips spear
the surface
and daffodil stems
reach for
the warming sun
the promise
of warmer days
soon to come
lingers in the air
Month: March 2021
Don’t Be Impulsive When Torn
Today’s meditation was skipped, but I plan on doing it before bed tonight. There was a reason but for the life of me I can’t remember what the hell it was. I think I just couldn’t concentrate with all the noise outside. They’re starting to work on the property across the back alley from me and I need to work on getting used to the sounds coming from over there… especially since it’s probably going to be an all spring/summer/fall experience.
Today’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with difficult decisions or being torn in two directions at the same time and needing to find a way to choose. It’s all about being in your head and the choices that are sometimes a struggle to make, especially when overthinking and not looking outward for answers.
I see that little person among the chaos of color and shape, and it reminds me of the chaos in one’s brain when confronted with two choices and unable to untangle one’s moral compass and logic enough to find the right choice to make.
Although this isn’t something that happens to me often, it has happened a few times, and I’ve always hated that tangled mess feeling that clouds the brain during these moments. What I see in this card is that the person struggling with this issue has become surrounded by it, and the way out is murky at best.
When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a reminder that when in the middle of these moments of indecision, it’s okay to slow down and take your time. It’s okay not to make that decision right this second. Instead, take some time, move slowly, and see if things don’t become clearer if you move a little slower.
DECK USED: A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS
LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: What good am I creating that is not directly visible?
Reading Summary: Generosity paid forward in the past (Six of Pentacles atop Six of Cauldrons) has created joy for others (Three of Cauldrons) and helped sustain them in times of melancholy (Four of Cauldrons).
Take Away: This is about my business and the joy that I create for others through the pieces that I make and spread throughout the world. It brings me a great deal of pleasure to create beautiful jewelry and send it off to those that purchase from me for those others to enjoy. Even though I very rarely see the results of other’s receiving these items, I take pleasure in knowing that these items are going to someone that will appreciate them, find joy in them, and that in wearing them it lifts them up and makes them feel good. I put my intentions towards this end into each and every piece I create.
DECK USED: TAROT OF THE OLD PATH
#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon where I am physically over the week ahead?
Reading Summary: Use the creme (Nine of Wands). Ask for advice (The Hierophant). Be kind (Queen of Cups).
Take Away: Okay so this is totally going to be a TMI reading, apparently. SO… when I was on my last hike, my fucking underwear had some weird thing going on with the seam and I’ve ended up with an abrasion/irritation rash at the crease of my inner thigh.
It’s unpleasant as hell and the advice here is to first and foremost defend against it getting worse. That’s where the creme comes in, as well as being very picky about my boxer-briefs for the next little while. The second advice is to seek help, and I already have an appointment with the doc later this week for other stuff (blood tests, et al) and will ask him his advice while I’m there. The third step here is in kindness. It’s an indication I need to treat this rash gingerly and not be impatient or neglectful concerning its care.
DECK USED: A SIREN’S MELODY TAROT
I’m staying up late to get a little extra time with Gideon tonight.
Gideon’s Challenge
Winter’s Exhale
Drip drip
of melting snow
gives way to
barren branches
and blue skies
as winter
blows its last breath
and spring
sneaks in
in small ways
to lick away
the last dusting
of white
and sweeten the air
in warm promise.
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Morning Bonus Read – Would I Survive?
Today’s bonus reading is just a bit of fun and games. The Village Tarot Witch on Instagram tagged me in a challenge to do her spread and it looked like a lot of fun. As she did, I will list my personal pros and cons in this post, but unlike her I will do them at the end, after the cards.
My Strengths for Surviving
The Stratagem (Emperor)
I am smart and clever and I have no problem putting aside my emotions in order to find the best path forward for myself and others. And when I mean best path? I mean **the best** path forward. The safest path. The path that will keep everyone (including myself) alive and well. I have absolutely no issue making decisions for the greater good, even if that means sometimes I’m disliked in the process. In a zombie apocalypse, the only priority more important than the greater good… is my own good. And I’ll be damned well looking out for that too.
My Weaknesses (What’s going to get me eaten?)
The Suspended (Hanged Man)
In day to day life, my ability to pause and put myself in other’s shoes, see their perspectives as well as my own, and move forward with this knowledge is a huge asset. In a zombie apocalypse, it would no longer be such a strength, though. It would cause hesitation and, at times, cause moments of immobility which, in turn, could make me some zombie’s happy meal.
My Chances of Survival
Walker of Wands (Knight of Wands)
I would throw myself into the new life with gusto and make survival my passion and be proactive in finding a new life that would work. As long as I kept in mind my own mortality and didn’t get too wrapped up in my enthusiasm in this matter, I will do well. There’s a fine line between enthusiastic pursuit of a desired outcome you’re passionate about… and reckless pursuit of an obsession. The problem would lie in making sure I balanced on the right side of that line and didn’t step over into an unhealthy perspective.
Personal (Realistic Based) Opinion On My Chances of Survival
PROS: I’m clever. I’m smart. I know tons of random knowledge that would be helpful. I’m excellent at wilderness survival and am familiar with traversing the back country. I’m adaptive and resourceful. I doubt I’d run into any emotional/psychological issues at all with taking down the infected.
CONS: I require a minimum diet of 5000-6000 calories a day just to keep from dropping weight, which translates into a LOT of food, or I start wasting away and passing out. Considering the extra physical activity that’s sure to come along with the proposed situation? I’m going to need even more.
Also, my antidepressants play a key role in keeping me from constant suicidal ideation and sometimes uncontrollable suicidal urges. I’d like to say that I could “muscle through” without them by determination alone, but I know for a fact it doesn’t work that way.
My cons far outweigh my pros, indicating that my chances of survival in this type of scenario, on the whole, are pretty slim. BUT, that I probably won’t die by being eaten, but rather through starvation, hypoglycemic coma, or by offing myself.
DECK USED: THE TAROT OF MANY DOORS
Anxiety Is Not Intuition
Today’s meditation was supposed to be eighteen minutes, but only managed to get through about half of it before the phone rang and I ended up talking to Ms B for about an hour about what dialysis entails and how to talk to Mr R about it. Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but if his next blood tests come back looking like crap, that might be the direction they’re going.
Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, logic, and commutation with others. This can often translate into needing to take an experienced and practical view, the need to either give to another or to receive advice from someone more experienced than yourself, and can be an indication of someone that is very logic driven.
So I’m preparing to do another trip over the border soon, and I’m having a bit of anxiety about it. Nothing serious and, honestly? I just did it not long ago and everything went fine. Now that I know the procedure, it should go even more smoothly the next time.
That said? I’m still feeling those twinges and the Thera-Pets card for today is a good reminder that anxiety is not one of my intuition’s methods of communication and never has been. I need to channel the strength of the Queen of Wands and the experience I have now under my belt, and stop listening to those little twinges that are inappropriate for the situation.
DECK USED: THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS
The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: Thinking back to a time when I suffered a loss of stability in my life, did I allow myself to grow from it, or did I stagnate?
Reading Summary: Growth and betterment (Princess of Pentacles) thru gratitude (Nine of Pentacles) and finding direction (Three of Wands).
Take Away: I seem to suffer a “loss of stability” in one way or another pretty damned regularly. It’s a part of my life path that has been consistent throughout my life and it is through gratitude for what I still have and the ability to pick a direction and keep moving and adapt that I am the man that I am today. This is a lesson on personal growth, one that I learn again and again each time events that try to break me down come about. The key is to keep one’s eye on moving forward and growing, improving and becoming better through the trials that are scattered upon our path.
DECK USED: THE STAR TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I at physically at this time?
Reading Summary: There is a risk of repercussions afoot (Justice), but you can seize control (Five of Swords) and soar (Ace of Swords) if you step up (Emperor).
Take Away: Yeah so um… Where I am at this time physically is at the cusp between healthy and unhealthy, hovering there on the line and able to fall either way depending upon the choices I make from this point forward.
This is primarily about my eating habits of late and the (mostly unhealthy) foods I’ve been consuming. If I battle my urges for these unhealthy snacks and meals and take control to seas a different path, I will recover smoothly from my unwise decisions and be able to turn things around before it goes too far.
DECK USED: THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT
I took a break to eat instead of saying “I’ll just do this one more thing first” and putting it off. I know this sounds like a pretty minor thing, but considering how tempting it was to play the “just one more thing” game today, I think it’s pretty significant that I managed to resist the urge.
Gideon’s Challenge
The Promise
Distant peaks
taunt and tease
promising chill air
and the burn of muscles
worked hard
as each step goes
higher and higher
until fallen needles turn
into the crunch of ice
under worn boots
and shaded forests
break free to rock
and vistas that steal
what breath is left.
Twisting the Leaf 