Winter Trickery
Shades of warmth
conceal the
frigid bite
in the air
that turns
everything
brittle as glass
and brings a haze
to the air
Don’t let
the golden glow
fool you
Grab a coat
Month: February 2021
Keep Climbing
Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis stretches (which I did actually do today).
The focus of today’s meditation was about resistance to change and how when we stop fighting against the inevitable, it is no longer a battle at all but rather things begin to go more smoothly as a result. This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. Mostly about how everyone says that they hate change (myself included) and yet change happens around us every day all the time and we don’t even notice it. We just adapt and keep on keeping on, yeah? It’s only when the change is something we object to that we struggle with it. So what would happen if we stopped fighting these changes that we don’t want to happen or dread, and just let them flow over us as we do all the other changes we experience from day to day. Would we adapt more easily? Perhaps we would find the adjustment not quite as horrible as we might have imagined.
Today’s draw is the Reason 7 card (Seven of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of cunning, stealth, and even betrayal. It can also often be about strategy, and making sure that you only take with you (or take on) only that which you are able to handle.
What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the slump of shoulders as the forefront figure looks back at the one in the distance. There is a sense of defeat in that slump of shoulders and angle of the head. A sense of surrender that isn’t about having lost a battle but is instead about carrying an unwelcome weight.
When combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, what I see is an encouragement to not give in. To keep climbing, keep striving… keep reaching for the light. When the temptation to yield to the darkness comes, it is time to remember that there is light ahead. I only need to keep climbing, and I will eventually get there.
DECK USED: EXISTENTIAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS
#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me emotionally vulnerable?
Reading Summary: When I am feeling my way forward instead of walking with steady steps. When I am exploring a new aspect of my connection to the world around me. When I am confronted with and exploring the avenues of new emotional growth.
Take Away: This is all about growth and newness, especially in relationship to my emotional growth and how that influences my communication with others and how I see, relate, and connect with the world around me. The sense of uncertainty during these times leaves me feeling especially vulnerable.
DECK USED: SILHOUETTES TAROT
#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread 3
Which one card do you feel sums you up best?
The Orphan / The Hanged Man
Each and every experience in life is a moment to pause and learn from. A moment to find new meaning, new perspective, and new purpose. I identify most strongly with the hanged man, because my life has been lesson after lesson, and it is within that pause to find sense and perspective where I find myself again and again. Learning, adapting, growing with each experience, no matter what those experiences might be.
Which one card do you feel represents your strengths?
Sisyphus / The Hierophant
I greatly enjoy teaching others, helping them in finding the path through life that is right for them. I love helping educate on those things I understand or have experience in, in the hopes that by doing so and sharing these things, that others will find something that they are inspired to explore as well, or that resonates with them and helps them to find a better path, a better way, or a new perspective that works better for them.
Which one card do you feel represents your limitations?
Reason 9 / Nine of Swords
My mental health. Out of all my limitations, it is my mental healthy that is, in my opinion, my greatest. It causes me to “check out” from the world and from my support system, whether I want to or not. It creates setbacks and backsliding of progress on my growth, creates problems with moving forward and accomplishing goals. It steals time from me… days and weeks, sometimes in the past whole months and more, that simply disappear… where no memory exists. I am familiar with my mental health limitations, and yet there is only so much I can do to mitigate the influence.
What kind of issues do you feel that you need to work on?
Action 2 / Two of Pentacles
Finding a healthy and workable balance between work and home, between responsibility and self-care. For so long I have abused myself, forcing myself into working more hours than most can even imagine and sleep less than most can handle. I’ve pushed for more from myself again and again, even when I was already doing so much. Now, after a lifetime of doing this, I find myself struggling to find just what a healthy balance looks like and that journey, along with the healing and building of new methods and habits, is taking time.
What message do you want to convey to everyone?
Metamorphosis / Strength
You are stronger than you think you are. The core of inner strength within you is so much stronger than you can imagine. A survivor filled with strength resides within you and will support you when you need it most. You will not break. Do not give up. Do not give in.
DECK USED: EXISTENTIAL TAROT
I spent the day in play with Gideon… and it was fucking glorious.
Gideon’s Challenge
Peaceful Moments
Sometimes
it is the cold
that brings things
into focus
and allows
sweet peace
to slip in and swirl
through senses
as deep breaths
flow
wet and soothing
like a balm
upon the soul
Photo © ZenStatePhotography
Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)
These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.
The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?
Earth – Knight of Swords and Blackberry – Lean into love when it comes time to fight for where you want to go. Goals are all well and good, but it’s about more than just getting there. Rather, it is about how you get there. The choices you make along the way and the methods you use are important. Make sure that as you push towards your goals that you come at them from a place of love.
Air – Knight of Pentacles and Hazel – Another reminder to soften the way forward. Soften your inner narrative and make it that of what you would speak to others… to those that you care about. It is a long journey, and one that will take time and hard work… but now is the time to do the work that you want to carry forward. Be your own friend, your own caring companion instead of your own personal abuser.
Water – King of Wands and Gooseberry – Take time this week to find your footing in the ordinary and every day. You are the king of your castle, the king of your passions, the king of your destiny. But that doesn’t mean you need to be constantly advancing. Sometimes even kings need time to gain their equilibrium. Embrace the ordinary and enjoy, allow it to help you find your footing after the emotional mess of what has been the past few weeks.
Fire – Strength and Elm – Allow others to help you and move forward in the direction you want things to go. Stop expending all of your energy now and allow yourself time to rest this week. You will pay dearly with pain and sacrifice if you do not take the opportunity this week grants you, so stand strong against your urge to work, and give yourself the break that you have earned and deserve, and the time to recover that you so greatly need.
Waning – Cobalt atop Copernicium – Volatility resides within both of these elements, and like the Fire position above, these cards are a warning that it is time to ease up and unwind. You may suffer from a bit of passion deficiency as the week drags on and you begin to unwind more and more. It’s a natural ebb and flow. Don’t fight it.
Waxing – Neon – Ideas and not action is the name of the game in the week ahead. Write them down, daydream upon them, wallow in their brilliance and take copious notes for later. Just allow that innovative creativity flow; without pouring time and energy into the fruition part of the equation… for now.
Take Away – The encouragement in these cards is very strongly leaning into reminding me how important this time of rest is for me right now. It’s a chance to find my footing and my equilibrium, and to do this I need to make sure that I am being kind to myself both in my actions and my inner narrative.
DECKS USED: AD ORBITA TAROT, STROMOCCULUM DECK, MATERIA PRIMA ORACLE
Accepting Guidance
Today’s meditation was skipped because I was lazy and slept in late, then relaxed in bed fucking around on my phone instead of getting my ass in gear.
Today’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. Among other things, this often translates into themes to do with emotional support and advice from a trusted party that is easy to talk to.
What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is how the Queen holds her cup. She holds it up like a torch, as if with her steps forward away from the comfort of her throne, that cup might light her way forward.
Combined with the Thera-Pets card drawn today, the message of today’s draw is that sometimes we all need a little extra guidance on our path. This doesn’t make us less capable or even lacking, it means that we all have more to learn and will do so to get where we need and want to be in life.
DECK USED: TRUE HEART INTUITIVE TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS
The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: Expansion
Question: How can I (in a healthy way) expand my awareness to be more in touch with others?
Reading Summary: Use that skill you’ve honed all your life (Eight of Pentacles) to see things from different perspectives and angles (Hanged Man) and use it to find a more balanced approach (Two of Pentacles) that is less anxiety inducing (Nine of Swords Rx).
Take Away: You know, I’ve never actually thought about this much before, but there is a fissure of anxiety involved for me when I am interacting with others. This goes beyond “likeability” and and instead deals with a feeling of… unpredictability. I find people unpredictable. And I struggle with that… a lot. I struggle with the fact I always feel no matter what I do, people are going to surprise me. These cards are reminding me that those surprises are not always a bad thing, and I need to look at them as a way to learn more and see things differently so that I can balance out that anxiety with potential value.
DECK USED: KEI TAROT LOVE
#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best approach setting healthier boundaries in my life?
Reading Summary: Allow more of a collaborative effort (Three of Pentacles) instead of trying to do everything myself (Nine of Pentacles). Your determination to go solo (Nine of Pentacles) is blinding you (Eight of Swords) to the potential of what is possible (Queen of Wands).
Take Away: This is about delegation, and about more evenly distributing my work load with others so that things are more equal and balanced between us.
These boundaries aren’t about others, but about myself and making sure that I’m not overworking myself. It’s about allowing things to spread evenly, and how by spreading the work load evenly, it opens up the potential for new possibilities.
DECK USED: TRUE HEART INTUITIVE TAROT
Confession. I am writing this the day after… and I don’t remember most of yesterday. I know I spent time with Gideon in play and I really enjoyed the down time with him. I know that I slept in. It’s just… everything else that appears to be missing.
Gideon’s Challenge
The Invasion
Clouds drop down
to kiss tree tops
and thread
between trunks
caressing the ground
in wet dewy touches
swallowing
giant mountians
rivers and lakes
in an existence
of white confusion
and silence
that will only last
a little while
Twisting the Leaf 