Sometimes Support Helps

Today’s meditation was skipped because I got home late and didn’t want to wait any longer than needed to get online and spend some time with Gideon.  I then ended up taking a nap while he went to town so I guess maybe I should’ve meditated before my nap, but I didn’t.

Modern Love Tarot - The ChariotToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of willpower and movement forward driven by determination.

Not surprisingly, what stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of today’s card is the pup with the wheel apparatus.  Also posture of the woman walking the dogs and tilt of her head.

The message here is that sometimes to move forward we need a helping hand, no matter how determined we are.  Just as the dog is able to keep going by the grace of the wheels the pup wears.

The woman walks with pride and strength, and the tilt of her head and her posture remind me of my sister.  It’s a reminder that my sister is a part of my support system, and when I feel my drive or will faltering, she is someone I can turn to to alternately kick me in the ass, or help me find what I need to keep going.


The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
: Resistance 
: What is the path forward to sharing my emotions more freely with others?

Romantic Tarot

Reading Summary: Judicious sharing is important (The Hanged Man). Take things slowly and do what you can a bit at a time (Page of Coins) so that you don’t end up paying for impulsive follies (Justice).

Take Away:  It is so ingrained within me to keep my emotions to myself and buried deep that sometimes it feels nearly impossible to express them clearly. It often feels like more than just restraint but an inner resistance that I have to fight against just to get out the words. That is, when I even have the words to get them out in a clear way.  The cards here indicate that the endeavor to be more open is not an unwise one, but is one in which a bit of care and precaution needs to be taken in order to ensure repercussions don’t come back to smack me in the face as a result of doing so.


#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
:  How can I best become more confident in the skill? (Built on yesterday’s prompt.)

Modern Love TarotReading Summary: Use that skill only when you need it (Four of Cups) and don’t hesitate (Knight of Pentacles Rx), your heart and intuition will lead the way (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: The skill in question is to make quick and decisive decisions on the fly when needed that turn out okay in the end and, in fact, often even end up benefiting me or my business.

The key to becoming more confident in this skill is in not overusing it.  When it’s needed, it will be there for you and is a part of my intuitive abilities.  Don’t worry about it and don’t depend on it when other tactics, such as preparation and planning, can accomplish things in a less stressful and/or reckless manner.


Daily Self Kindness

I allowed myself to have today off.  I did not work on orders, nor did I even respond to customers today.  Instead I set the business aside and allowed myself to have a day away from it all.  So far, I am not feeling guilty about it.

Morning Bonus Read – Managing Depression

Graphic Cheatsheet Playing Cards

Card to represent my depression.

Four of Hearts (Watermelon Bliss) – For a few days in the past week, I found myself at the very bottom of the pit and struggling to stay afloat in the mire that covers the bottom.  But now, I am no longer in that place.  I am still in the pit, and the light is still so very far away, but it is more of a dejected feeling of disinterest than abject misery of soul rotting decay.  Dejection with just a sliver of hope is the current status of my depression.

Something I need to learn about my depression.

Ace of Clubs (Paper Sizes) – The roots of inspiration have no place to dig within the mire of my depression, the soil too loose and heavy like trying to plant seeds within clay or sand.  There is no nutrients to feed those roots, and stability in which to be supported and grow strong.  Inspiration cannot be forced… instead you just wait until you can see the light once more in order to plant those seeds in fertile soil.

An action I can take to help my depression.

Three of Clubs (Sweet Starfruit) – Small steps. Just like taking little nibbles out of a cookie will eventually turn into having ate the entire thing, each small step forward in the darkness will take you a little closer to the light, even when at times you cannot see the light you are moving toward.  Do not allow yourself to stand still and stagnate.  Every small step of self care and healthy choices help you in getting a little closer to the freedom you seek.

How I can show myself more compassion.

Seven of Spades (Waterlily Lake) – Watch out for sneaky inner dialogue slipping in to screw with you when you’re not expecting.  Don’t buy into those lying whispers and negative, snarky judgements that slither through your mind and try to pollute your thinking. You know it’s the depression speaking and not a reflection of reality.

How I can find joy in my life right now.

Four of Spades (Peaceful Droplets) atop Five of Spades (Compassionate Aura) – Set down your anger and your need to strike out, to share your pain in unhealthy ways.  That, too, is your depression trying to control and influence you.  Instead, seek healthy ways to unload your burden and ease your mind so that you can rest more easily without a guilty conscience.

A reason to stay strong.

Ten of Diamonds (The Unknown) – If you give in to the whispers that swirl within you during your depression, you can end up deconstructing every single bit of stability and security you have built up over time for yourself and those that depend upon you.  Instead, stay focused on all that you have accomplished and remember that you are stronger than this… and will make it through to the other side with the help of those you so often help every single day.