Reactionary Sensitivities

IMG_9254Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis stretching.

The focus of today’s meditation was a loving kindness exercise that I, surprisingly, didn’t feel all that uncomfortable with. Usually?  I do, but for some reason, today it went really smoothly.

It is, in a nutshell, an exercise where you first do a body scan and build up loving kindness energy for yourself, then seek to direct that energy to someone you care about, and then someone you aren’t particularly fond of… and then expand it outward to encompass everyone and everything.

Tarocco Sopraffino Anima Antiqua - Nine of CupsToday’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotional satiation and contentment. Like the Nine of Pentacles, this card is a bit about wallowing in one’s good fortune and getting in touch with their gratitude, although in this case it is an emotional good fortune instead of a physical one.

Okay so to be honest what really stands out to me today in this card is the fact there’s a little black spot on the bottom right of the card.  A SPOT!   I’m going to have to go through the deck and figure out what the fuck happened.  Maybe it’s just a bit of debris from my plant specimen box.
We’ll see.

And… yeah.   So here’s the message.  Don’t let the small stuff screw up what would otherwise be a perfectly good mood.


LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
:  How can I use this New Moon cycle to help me move forward?

Fournier's Tarot Cats by Ana Juan

 Reading Summary: Remember that you have the strength to get through this (Strength). Up and downs happen in life (Wheel of Fortune), but you are more than strong enough to weather the storm (Nine of Swords).

Just sayin’… but I love this deck.

Take Away: The new moon is all about new energy and the build of that energy over the next two weeks.  It is about having come to the end and starting over, the last full moon’s energy has wanned and is now gone, the energy for the next full moon now builds.

As I ride that energy forward over the next two weeks, these cards are reminding me that my Nine of Swords experience with my depression isn’t going to last forever.  Life has lots of ups and downs, and now I’m in a down, but I have the inner strength needed to tame the lion as I begin using the mounting energy to help me in beginning my climb towards the light.


#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
:  What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Tarocco Sopraffino Anima AntiquaReading Summary: Focus upon finding a sense of pleasure and accomplishment (Nine of Cups) instead of looking to others to provide validation (Six of Wands Rx). You already have everything you need emotionally (Ten of Cups) so don’t sabotage yourself by pushing too hard right now (Five of Wands).

Take Away: I need to set aside that whole “working your ass off to succeed” mindset and instead spend some time focusing on what makes me happy and makes me feel good.

It’s hard to find those things right now when the depression has me feeling so vulnerable, but it’s better to focus on all the good that I have and the support they offer rather than looking for outside sources for validation that I can receive from those that already make up my emotional support system.


Daily Self Kindness

I listened to the current audio book that I’ve been enjoying during my packaging today.  This isn’t something I normally do as it slows me down a bit (same with if I listen to audio books while driving). But, I’ve been really enjoying this story so I went ahead and listened to it anyway.  Currently listening to:  The Whispering Room, which is Book 2 of Dean Koontz’s Jane Hawk Series

New Moon in Aquarius – February 2021

Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the rising of altruism, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Aquarius New Moon - The Uncommon Tarot

1. What visions is my mind awakening to?

Ten of Swords – The pain of what I’m currently going through, the mental illness that I’m struggling with.  The beat down that it is giving me, and the potential to rise from it in the end.  There is a need to ride out the process in order to find that potential, though.  First you must hit the ground, bleed out upon the grass… only then can you then rise from the ashes and start over.

2. How can I be more open to ideas that are outside of the box?

Four of Swords – Ease up on yourself.  It’s okay to need rest and recovery is a part of the process. Do not shame yourself into trying to avoid or outright reject this process. Part of last year was about accepting this and making allowances for rest and recovery.  Don’t backslide into shunning the need for this rest and restoration.

3. What false perceptions do I need to release in order to create space for sacred truths to rise up?

Eight of Wands – Not everything has to be done right this moment. You always push for everything to be done right now. Right away.  You don’t expect this from others, and yet you demand it from yourself.  it’s time to release this expectation and allow yourself the room to breathe through the process of getting things done.

4. In what aspect of my life do I need to be innovative?

The Magician – Don’t allow yourself to sink into feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.  You are a skilled and strong individual, knowledgeable and capable. The depression can cause you to lose track of your awareness concerning these things, but in keeping them in mind you empower yourself to stay strong and keep going.

5. Who do I need to collaborate with in my kindred circle for my health and well-being?

The Empress atop The Hermit Rx – This is about Z and the kindness and nurturing she offers during times when you need her support. Whenever the Empress appears, it often reflects back to the same energy that Z carries upon her and within her, and she is the person that you need to collaborate with now in order to assure that you don’t use alone time activities to retreat into yourself.  By speaking with her about your concerns to do with alone time and not using your alone time in healthy ways, she can be there for you real-time and on-point to make sure that it doesn’t happen and you use that time in healthy ways.

6. Message from my Guides and Ancestors.

Four of Cups – Rest does not turn into stagnancy as long as you make the choice to stay engaged instead of turning away from your feelings and interests.  Rest is healthy, and can help foster your gradual improvement as you begin to find yourself on the road to recovery.  Stagnancy is unhealthy and will hold you back.  They are not the same thing, so make sure you are aware and paying attention to which “wolf you feed” in this matter.