Month: December 2020

Morning Bonus Read – Extreme Points

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Winter Solstice is approaching– only a couple weeks to go! This week, we begin looking toward one of the two most extreme points of the year– the longest night– and the upcoming return of the sun. ”

Christmas Playing Cards by US GamesIn the current absence of the sun, what is something in your life that may be approaching its most extreme point?
Eight of Hearts

The need to run away from the chaos and find a balanced  and safe place of refuge.  As the Solstice approaches, I find myself more and more ready for the end of the holiday rush to arrive.

How is this affecting you emotionally right now?
Seven of Hearts

I’m scattered and struggling, confused and having a hard time. There’s so much to do and so much going on, and I’m feeling overwhelmed.  The more overwhelmed I get, the more eager I am for the approach of that change to come.

How is this affecting you physically right now?
Three of Diamonds

I’m needing help from others to keep myself physically healthy right now. It’s hard to remember to eat, and it’s hard to stay on track with even the normal things like getting in regular showers, let alone other self-care things, exercise, and time outside for fresh air.   There’s just so little time.  Those that live with me help with the work, and they help with keeping me on track in other ways to keep me healthy and well.

How is this affecting you mentally right now?
Seven of Spades

I feel like any time I spend even a few minutes away from keeping up with my work and the holiday rush, I’m stealing that time from what really needs to be done. Stealing something I can’t afford and is undeserved.  I know that isn’t true, but that is the guilt that whispers through my mind whenever my hands aren’t filled with wire and pliers, or other things that need to be done.

How is this affecting you spiritually right now?
Six of Diamonds

I’m regressing into old (and unhealthy) habits.   The longer the holiday rush goes on, the more I am regressing.  I understand that I will be better able to return to my healthier new habits more easily this time, having done it before in the past… but at the same time?  I am aware that I’m regressing and feel helpless to keep it from happening in the moment.

DECK USED: CHRISTMAS PLAYING CARDS BY US GAMES

Gideon’s Challenge

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Cold Kisses

Dark skies
gather above
a field
sucked dry
of life
until leaves
are brittle bits
of delicate debris
I stand
and watch
darkening clouds
promising
cold kisses
soon to fall
and breathe in
deep.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Gideon’s Challenge

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IMG_6930The Invitation

Soft and squishy
and just
a little damp
but still welcoming
a carpet
of softness
that blankets
everything
and whispers
about just how
comfortable
a nuzzle
and a nap
could be.

Just give in.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Don’t Get Up Just Yet

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be ten minutes long, but I dozed off and slept through it (and another 30 minutes on top of that).  I’ve got the stomach flu and I think my body just said that sleep was more important.  I’ll try again at the end of the day when I lie down to go to bed.  Then if I fall asleep on accident it’ll be okay.

Broken Isn't Bad Tarot - Ten of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ten of Swords, which is traditionally about painful endings and finding yourself at the end of a difficult journey with lots of struggle and strife.  It can also be a representation of loss, betrayal, or coming out at the end of something feeling crippled in some way.

Honestly? This is such an appropriate card, considering how I’m feeling today. I woke up with an upset stomach and severely painful back today, and even after an Imodium, followed later on after the Imodium started working by dry toast and an ibuprofen?  I have still felt really rough throughout the day and it was extremely hard to focus on work.

The message in today’s card is in her position upon the ground, as she looks more in repose than as if she’s been struck down.  Today’s card is a reminder to take care of myself and allow myself the rest I need to feel better.

You will be happy to know that I did give myself some rest this morning while waiting for the Imodium to work.  I laid down on the bed and had a tel-appointment with my shrink (that I almost forgot that I had today) and I’ve been careful to make sure I eat enough (of only very gentle foods) to keep my blood sugars level even during the worst of the stomach upset.

DECK USED:  BROKEN ISN’T BAD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Should people care more about doing the right thing, or doing things right?

Lost Hollow TarotReading Summary: Note the Four of Pentacles on its side.

The Adjustment card with the Eight of Wands indicates that one should go swiftly towards doing the right thing.  Adjustment/Justice is about cause and effect and “the law” (whether that be the laws of nature or the laws of man).  The Eight of Wands is about swift action.   These cards indicate that it is important to not just do the right thing, but to do so without hesitation.

The Four of Pentacles on its side is what blocks us from this swift action of doing the right thing.  The concept of “doing things right” is a concept of control.  It’s not about the rule of law (natural or otherwise) but about subjective opinion and control over one’s environment and how things are done.  This is not dominant but rather on its side… a blockage.  A problem.

Take Away:  These cards clearly state that people should care more about doing the right thing than they should about “doing things right”.   It is our ego that gets in the way from doing the right thing… and our ego that makes us focus on “doing things right”. 

DECK USED:  LOST HOLLOW TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

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Anticipation

Flashes of color
draw the eye
as winter chill
fills the air
and we ride
down the
long road home.
There is a promise
for next year
lying dormant
in their blush
but I can’t wait
for snow
to mute their hues

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Finding Motivation thru Inspiration

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IMG_8067Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was another of the guided meditations (from the Calm app, which is where I get the little graphics pertaining to those guided meditations btw) combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about dealing with our personal inner dialogues and the habit of cruelty and lack of understanding that we direct inward towards ourselves rather than treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we give to others.

This is something that I personally struggle with, and I have been making a concerted effort this year to be kinder to myself and use positivity and optimism to help lift my inner dialogue out of the cruel and savage and into a gentler space.  That said, it is still a struggle after all this time, and I know that part of that is my struggle to let go of the past… and the voices of my past.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Queen of WandsToday’s draw is is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s enthusiasm and drive, passions, willpower, determination, and inner spark.

I really like this deck… a lot.  The imagery is just so… f’ing gorgeous. Every card.  Even with the Jesus looking guy as the Magician card. (It very well may be a depiction of Jesus, as I haven’t read the guide book for this deck yet. Even if not? It sure as hell looks like the classic depictions of Jesus.)

Okay, so my fascination with the artwork aside, what really stood out to me today in this card was the flames at the queen’s feet, and the spread wings above her throne.

To me the flames feel like that fire within that figuratively “lights a fire under your ass” to get you moving. In the Queen, this translates to me as someone or something that lights that fire and encourages its burn.  The wings further this impression for me, as they speak about giving lift.  Encouragement.  Providing what is needed to inspire.  That energy, personality, or person being the “wind beneath” those wings, so to speak.

The message here is about inspiration.  it’s about finding inspiration and fostering it within that inner spark, feeding the fire and using it to keep moving forward.  Find strength and determination and willpower within the fanning of the flames, and use theses qualities to keep going despite the roadblocks and hurdles.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw a random card and use it to describe a quality about yourself that you love.

Hans Zatzka Dreamland Tarot - StrengthStrength – Deep within me beneath the layers of defense and determination. vulnerability and deflection… there is a core of strength.  This strength is what has allowed me to survive so much and continue on, to allow myself to be open and receptive to others even through the pain of what has happened in my past.  The  assaults, the cancer, the rape, the accidents, the abuse, and the betrayals.  All of it could have closed me down, closed me off, made me bitter, made me hard and hateful.  They could have broken me and made me a victim… or in many cases, could have (or almost did) kill me.

And yet I survive.  I am not a victim.  I am not broken.  I am not bitter or hateful. I choose to not allow these things from my past to destroy the person that I am, the person I want to be, and the person I wish to become.

Side note:  This deck’s cardstock is horrendous. It’s essentially unsealed textured printer paper with inkjet printing. I have plans to reproduce this deck for my own use at some point, with better cardstock (and no typos).

DECK USED:  HANS ZATZKA DREAMLAND TAROT