Month: December 2019

Finding Balance During Change

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and although I can’t remember what the focus of the meditation was, I do know that it was really helpful in relaxing me a bit.  I did the meditation after the soak in the bath, and it helped a lot in keeping my anxiety from causing too much discomfort. Enough that I was able to take some ibuprofen and a short nap afterward.   And, although I sort of feel like I wasted the couple of hours involved there, it also managed to get rid of my headache.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means both cards dropped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Four of Wands and Six of Pentacles.

When I look at the cards in today’s draw, what I see is an encouragement to find the fun.  This is not off of traditional meanings of the cards, but rather it is from the imagery itself.

I think, especially when I have been drowning in work for so long that that sense of overwhelm starts to feel normal, it is important to remember that that is not all that life is about.  It’s just a temporary whirlwind, and not permanent.  Soon, though. In the next few days there will be a shift from that chaos and bustle to a slow down and time to breathe.  It’s at that time I will need to remember to interject some fun into life to help offset the discomfort of adjusting back to the ‘normal’ of the rest of the year.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How can I release that regret as I move into the new year? (Build off of yesterday’s reading.)

The Marigold Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to remember to stay centered emotionally while receptive to what I’d experienced in the fall and allowing it to grow (Queen of Cups), and at the same time stop pretending that everything is okay because I’m going to end up hanging myself yet again next year if I don’t (Ten of Cups).  The fruits of my labors will come whether I’m overloaded or not, but it will be better if I take on what I can handle (Seven of Rings) instead of putting so much on my plate that I feel overwhelmed throughout the year.

Take Away:  It’s time to look at managing my time better.  This is pretty much a reiteration of yesterday’s reading concerning finding a better balance between my administrative tasks and my creative spark.  The cards are telling me to keep my feet on the ground and be realistic.

DECK USED:  THE MARIGOLD TAROT

 

Overload… and a Note on Forgiveness

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Forgiveness Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I finally managed to do it in the morning today! Honestly?  I get so much more out of it when I do it first time in the morning. Sometimes that’s just not possible, but I am going to try harder to make it possible more often.   The focus of today’s guidance during the meditation was about forgiveness, and I want to quote something that I really liked that was said during.  The instructor spoke about the important of forgiveness, and defined it as such…

“Forgiveness isn’t meant to erase what happened.  Instead, it’s a decision to let go of the resentment we’re holding onto.  It allows the clutch of irritation and bitterness to loosen its grip.  Choosing to forgive doesn’t deny the other person’s role in hurting us, and it doesn’t minimize or excuse the wrongdoing. But what it does do is create the opportunity for us to find peace.” – Tamara Levitt

I like that.  I think that too many people think that forgiveness means that you have to totally forget about what happened and excuse the person for their actions, but that’s really not what it’s about… and I think that quote expresses this really well.

Seven of Cups - Ostara TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Cups which is often about having too many choices or being overwhelmed, and that is exactly what I see in this card today.

The appearance of the Seven of Cups in today’s draw is a warning to be sure I am not allowing myself to become overloaded and overwhelmed emotionally while I am distracted by the holiday rush and everything I need to get done.

I am dealing with a small bit of a drop after the drown the other day, and my instinct is often to bury these things and ignore them when I’m feeling overwhelmed by the world as a whole.  This card’s advice is to not do that.  Don’t ignore it, or those emotions will topple over and crash to the ground in a mess.

DECK USED:  OSTARA TAROT

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: What regret hangs most heavily upon me from this year?

Dreamkeeper’s Tarot

Reading Summary:  I feel like my self imposed overload (Ten of Wands) this year has held me back from the amount of success that could have accomplished (Six of Wands) as well as from spending more time with you (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I need to get more organized about how I do things for the business. This balance is about finding a happy medium between administrative tasks and the creative spark that is always so very persistent within me.  I put off the administrative tasks because I don’t find them pleasurable or particularly interesting, and then they build up and I have to “binge work” to get through them. Back when the business was slower, that was fine.  But, over the past few years as things have picked up, it’s started to become a problem.

DECK USED:  THE DREAMKEEPER’S TAROT

Show and Tell – Heritage and Inheritance

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The Topic for the Week of 12/9 from the Pagan Perspective YouTube channel is not a question at all, but rather, it is an encouragement to “Show and Tell”.

I thought for this I would like to show what my mother gave to me when I went to visit her over the week of Thanksgiving.   She really took me by surprise and I was hugely honored to be given the gift that she gave to me while  I was there.

The box of cards pictured in this post are my great-great-grandmother’s divination cards.  Or, rather, the last set of divination cards she owned before she passed away.  In her lifetime, she had gone through a number of decks, but if I understand correctly, she always burned them when they were replaced by a new set.   This set was the set that she used in the decade or so before she passed.

Interestingly enough, there is a spell of some kind cast on this deck.   I could feel the energy of it when I held the box in my hands, and the shift of that magic in my sliding open of the box (which works like a drawer) and found the two cards concealed in the bottom.

I asked my mother what she knew about it, but she didn’t know anything.  She has never even opened the box. This means that my sense of that energy was correct and those cards slid underneath the box’s “drawer” are indeed a part of the spell cast upon them.

While going through the drawer where these cards were tucked away, my mother came across an old deck of the Gypsy Witch Fortune Cards.

Interestingly, she thought this deck was mine, as it was the first deck I was ever given.   But, I have my deck already.  And L has hers as well.   This mystery deck was tucked deep in the back of the drawer, under the box of my great-great-grandmother’s cards, and also contained a small lock of hair.    These were given to me as well.

I have brought both of them home with me and carefully wrapped them up (boxes and all) in a silk scarf that used to belong to my grandmother.  At the moment, that bundle is sitting on my altar in place of the hand mirror I had been using as a representation of my ancestors.   I feel extremely honored to have been given these gifts and I cherish them more than I can possibly express.

Give Yourself Some Credit

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Today’s meditation is again non-existent so far.   The helper showed up 20 minutes early, which means I wasn’t even out of bed yet when she buzzed up to be let in.   Since she stayed for 12 hours, that means that I just haven’t had a chance to do the meditation yet.  I will do it before bed as I have the last few days, and try again for a morning meditation tomorrow.

Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is a representation of determination, manifestation, accomplishment, and purpose in the area of finances, resources, and the physical world.

Just sayin’ but I love the imagery in this card.  He worked hard to give the rose a home within the soil, and you can see it in his tired expression and flushed face.

The appearance of the Eight of Pentacles in today’s draw is a reminder to acknowledge my accomplishments.  It’s very easy for me to shrug off my accomplishments as “nothing”, whereas when viewing someone else perhaps having done the exact same thing I would see as admirably accomplished.

Today’s card is telling me that I need to give myself some credit.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: Something good that I manifested this year.

Bianca Nero Tarot

Reading Summary: The ability to deal with chaos and change (The Tower) in a more positive way through planning (Two of Wands) and taking on these events as an opportunity to turn things into something better (Four of Wands) rather than as a catastrophe.

Take Away:  Sometimes when change hits with sudden urgency and a cacophony of chaos, it can feel like the end of the world and like everything is crashing down around you. At these times it’s difficult to look beyond the now or step outside of the chaos to see things from a different perspective.

Over the past year, I feel that I have found a more centered place within myself, and a greater measure of grounding, which helps me in times when things feel like they are falling apart in looking at the situation from a different angle and  approaching the problem from a perspective of “where do I go from here?” rather than wallowing in the discomfort of that moment.

DECK USED:  BIANCO NERO TAROT

 

Nosce Te Ipsum

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Today’s meditation has not yet happened yet, as I overslept and had to pop out of bed and get my ass moving this morning when the housekeeper showed up.   I will do it before bed, but I really need to start doing it in the morning rather than putting it off.  I just feel like I’m getting more out of the process when I do the meditation in the morning as a part of starting my day.

The Sun - Ostara Tarot Today’s draw is The Sun card, which is a representation of fun, positivity, and the inner child.  But honestly, that is not what I see when I look at The Sun card in this deck.

What I pick up from today’s card is a message about individuality and strength.  It’s about being genuine.  Being yourself.  And standing up for what you feel is right and your own personal values.   That is what I saw this morning, and it turned out to be a theme in my day as well.

I am well aware that my own personal moral compass and ethics are not entirely on line with those of the world around me.  I get that.  I don’t like favoritism.  For me, it smacks of lack of fairness and creates imbalance.   And for me, much of life is all about balance.  I feel it is important to look at situations from an unbiased perspective.  I feel it’s important to strive to be fair in all things, even when that fairness may not be to your own advantage or the advantage of your own personal opinions and goals (thus the importance of being able to look at things from an unbiased perspective).

The feeling I got from today’s card is that it’s okay to be different. It’s okay to have no interest in conforming.  It’s okay to march to your own drum, and it’s okay to see things differently than others as long as you’re willing to entertain their perspectives.  Know yourself.  Be yourself.  Stand tall.

DECK USED:  OSTARA TAROT

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: Something that I was right to let go of this year.

Wayhome Tarot

Reading Summary:  Being so quick to judge myself (The Chariot) by my father’s standards (Father of Swords) instead of celebrating who I am (Daughter of Wands).

Take Away: My father was an extremely harsh man who spent the entirety of my youth making sure that I was fully aware of just how much of a disappointment I was to him, and just how much of an embarrassment I was to my family, due primarily to my sexual preferences and lack of interest in most “traditionally male” pursuits.  Although I never felt the least bit of an urge to conform to his standards, I did spend a good deal of my time mimicking his tone in my own self talk.  This year I have been diligently working on being kinder to myself and letting go of that asshole in my head that judges everything I do so harshly.

DECK USED:  WAYHOME TAROT

 

Receptivity

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I’m posting this a day late, and honestly?  I don’t remember what yesterday’s meditation was about.  I know that I did it just before taking a nap once I’d made it home from the post office trip, I just don’t remember what the guided part of the meditation was focused on.

Page of Cups - Tarot of the Little Prince Yesterday’s draw was the Page of Cups, which is a representation of a receptive omega energy in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity.  This card was really fitting for the day, considering that I knew that the drop was going to start to creep in but I was still in a good place and able to breathe.  I worked really hard on making sure I gave myself some self care and comfort yesterday, and it helped me find a place of peace and quiet that was sorely needed.

I feel like any time that I can touch upon my emotions, especially the negative ones, from a place of calm and understanding instead of the “oh shit” of feeling vulnerable, it’s an excellent learning experience for me.  It gives me a chance to explore those feelings without the usual defense mechanism response trying to step in and push them into a box.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How can I honor that newly discovered relationship with myself? (Building off yesterday’s read.)

Tarot of the Hidden Folk

Reading Summary: There is a whole LOT of receptive energy in these cards, speaking of the need to be open both mentally and emotionally (Queen of Swords and Queen of Cups), and making sure that I am being kind to myself (The Empress) while ignoring the positive to focus on the negative (Five of Cups).  Also, be sure to trust you to keep me safe during the drown (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  During the drown, I become extremely vulnerable and it’s easy to close off.  This becomes especially so during the days after a drown when I am working through a drop.  The cards indicate that in both cases, it will serve me better and create an improved sense of stability to focus on a receptive and open attitude while remembering to stay positive and be kind to myself.  Going to you for help with this is a healthy way to work on this and ensure it will hopefully become habit over time.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN FOLK