Month: April 2020

I Am Loved and Protected

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_3842Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and on a topic that I’m actually trying to distance myself from a bit.   That is, the topic of detaching oneself and disassociating from one’s emotions.

The purpose of this is so that those emotions can run free and you can observe them as an outside observer.  But the fact is?  I’m not sure that in my case, encouraging that detachment is necessarily a good thing.   It comes too easy for me and I take it to unhealthy lengths.

I do agree with the second part of the point of this meditation though, which is that while the emotions are present you keep in mind that they are only temporary. This is something I work hard to keep in mind when I’m dealing with depression, and I think it is a good thing to try as well when dealing with other negative emotions that I might find confusing and overwhelming.

Four of Oak - Four of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Oak (Four of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of stability and security in the areas of the physical world, resources, health, and finances.

What I see in this card today has more to do with hearth and home than with monetary themes or any sort of business or gains.   It has to do with the curled stone children that the mountain goat looks over so carefully.  This speaks to me of stability that is given rather than earned.  The stability that I receive, for example, from you during those times when I am feeling at my most vulnerable.

The message in today’s card is a reminder that that stability is there for me whenever I need it, even when I don’t always realize I need it.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do the judgements of others hold me back?

Chrysalis Tarot

Reading Summary:  When I put too much weight on what others are thinking (Seven of Scrolls) it can cause me to miss out on all the fun (The Sun) and new opportunities (The Hero).

Take Away:  Confidence comes from within and from focusing upon the positive.  These cards are a reminder that when I allow others opinions of me to hold too much weight, those opinions can end up influencing my own self image and in turn hold me back from the good stuff in life.

DECK USED:  CHRYSALIS TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: What can I look forward to in the near future?

Lili White TarotReading Summary: The opportunity (Fool) to jump forward into the pursuit of my passions (Son of Wands) in a positive and balanced manner (Justice).

Take Away:  I’ve been in a bit of a holding pattern with my business and the majority of my interests lately, just as most people have been.  This has opened me up to delving into a few different projects that I’ve been interested in that have nothing to do with my business, such as the wood burning I’ve been working on and practicing with in preparation for a project I have in mind,  and the fostering the growth of some new plants out on my balcony.   The cards in this draw indicate that now (and the near future) is an ideal time to enjoy these pursuits.

DECK USED:  LILI WHITE TAROT

 

Caution and Defense

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was non existent not because I didn’t try to do it, but because within barely a minute of getting settled into the meditation… I fell asleep.   The nice part of that?  Was that it was out in the field on the farm, which felt really refreshing when I woke up, regardless of the fact that I didn’t actually get the meditation part in.

Seven of Flame - Seven of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Flame (Seven of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of themes that have to do with standing up for oneself, as well as conflict for the purpose of defense and protection.

Aww, look at the little vtiligo child. I really love this imagery and the inclusion that’s involved in this deck as a whole. I love that it also wasn’t billed as an inclusive deck, either, and yet is very much exactly that.

What really stood out to me in this card’s imagery today has to do with the tender flesh of the child among all those long, sharp tusks.   And yet the child remains unharmed even as the narwhal swim and circle.   It speaks to me of treading lightly so that you don’t hurt those more vulnerable than yourself.

This can be true even when using words as opposed to tusks.  Those you care about deserve the added care to make sure you don’t hurt them unintentionally.  I think we all do that sometimes, say something and it just comes out wrong either in tone or words, and hurt people as a response… but that fact that we all do it sometimes? It doesn’t mean that it’s not important to still take care.  Just as the narwhal take care with the child so that they don’t cause harm.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What opportunity do I have to support others?

Considerate Cat Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  Providing perspective on “tower moment” situations in order to allow others to see that change happens and is necessary is one of my greatest strengths that I can share with others. Just remember that sometimes that message is not going to be well received, no matter how well intended or how much they may need to hear it.

Take Away:  Sometimes I get a bit frustrated when I run up against those walls others put up.  Walls used to stay miserable and wallow in the negative, yeah?  It is a struggle for me to just… accept that they truly want or need to wallow in that.  The cards here address that in the last two cards, reminding me that as I share my gifts with others and make efforts to lift them up, there will always be those that choose to remain where they are, no matter how bad that spot they’re in mentally or emotionally may suck.  The opportunity here is to remember to focus on those that will welcome my help, and leave the others to their own devices.

DECK USED:  CONSIDERATE CAT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I criticize myself most often?

Bunny Tarot

Reading Summary: When I’m feeling as if I’m falling behind or struggling to keep up (Five of Cups) and my intuition has fizzled out as a result (High Priestess), I lose the ability to take possession (Emperor) of my emotions as they arise (Ace of Cups) and my inner critic pounces forward to pick and probe at my vulnerabilities.

Take Away:  My struggle to understand my emotions and deal with them in a healthy manner is one of my greatest vulnerabilities.  As a result, when negative emotions rear their ugly head, especially if I’m dealing with subdrop or depression, my intuition recedes a bit and leaves me wide open for my inner critic to pounce and make things worse.

DECK USED:  BUNNY TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I attract more abundance into my life?

Cry Baby TarotReading Summary: Pay more attention to the emotional abundance in my life (Ten of Cups) and stop focusing so strongly on my need to protect (Seven of Wands) my home and hearth and financial stability (Ten of Pentacles)

Take Away:  Things are pretty well balanced with my life and yet I continue to feel overly protective of that balance and stability to the point of obsession.   The cards here indicate that I need to turn my focus to enjoying the pleasure of having those around me that I love and that everything is actually pretty good right now concerning my relationships with others, rather than continuing to be constantly cautious and watchful to the point of paranoid concerning threats to the more material factors in my life.

DECK USED:  CRY BABY TAROT

 

The Sky Is Falling

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

sacredToday’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and a bit different than my normal meditation.   I tried another of those “meet your spirit guides” meditations from YouTube.

There’s a couple of different things that I realized from today’s meditation that might be why I’m struggling with the guided meditations of this nature.

The first thing is the fact that they don’t really do any sort of guided relaxation beforehand.  They just jump right in without any “take a breath” or “relax your muscles” or any relaxation technique before getting started.    I think that this is something that would really help me in finding that level of consciousness that would get me where I need to be in the meeting your guides part of the meditation.

The second thing that I noticed is that literally all of the meditations I’ve tried on this topic are essentially astral travel assisted connections. They all involve the whole “rising above” out of body type guidance that you are given for astral travel work.  The problem with this is that I don’t astral travel. Can’t, actually.  The prevailing theory is that it is because I’m so grounded, and so deeply rooted into that grounding, that I can’t rise into that airy un-grounded space and float free. Regardless of the reason why, though, the fact of the matter is that I did really well with the meditation right up until the point that they tried to get me into the astral plane, and then… it all fell to shit.

So… I will keep trying.  Maybe if I listen to enough of them sooner or later I will have learned enough of the non-astral methodology that I can then piece those parts together into a more grounded method that might work specifically for me.

Nine of Zephyrs - Nine of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Zephyrs (Nine of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of worries, anxieties and mental overwhelm leading to themes that do with anxiety and occasionally mental illness.

When I saw the card today, what really stuck out to me was the phrase “the sky is falling” which then brought to mind the story of Chicken Little from which that phrase originated.

This story is essentially about blowing things out of proportion which I didn’t really have a match for until this evening and the need to step back from a situation and allow others to deal with and handle it.  Normally, it’s the sort of situation I would step in and act on, but I was unable to do so in this instance because I might have been overreacting and blowing things out of proportion due of my own personal issues concerning those involved.

It was… ridiculously hard to step away.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Am I ethically obligated to improve myself?

White Sage TarotReading Summary: When you improve yourself (Page of Wands) you create a healing and stability (Four of Swords) that spreads outward to heal the world (The Sun).

Take Away:  Absolutely. As I improve myself, I subsequently improve the world around me. Ethically speaking, it is the most base and basic way in which we can improve the world and the lives of others. Butterfly effect. 

DECK USED:  WHITE SAGE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What does my inner critic say to me most often?

Shadowland Tarot

Reading Summary: It picks at my scarcity issues (Four of Cups) and my fear of losing my stability (Two of Pentacles). Other two cards are advice. Be good to yourself (Empress) and lighten up (The Sun).  And, just sayin’? That Four of Cups so very speaks to me of those scarcity issues btw. LOL

Take Away:  Scarcity and my fear of things falling apart are really my biggest fears, and are also the fears that were triggered the most strongly at the beginning of this pandemic.  Although I’ve gotten a handle on those fears, that is where my inner critic tries to pick at the most when it raises its ugly head.

The cards were also kind enough to give me encouragement, though (cuz I pushed for a third card rather than letting it stick with the first two) in the form of advice, reminding me that I need to be kind to myself and make an effort to strive towards optimism when my inner critic is trying to pick at those worries.

DECK USED:  SHADOWLAND TAROT

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

Earth – Six of Wands, Nine of Wands, Mugwort (Cycles) – Artemisia vulgaris is the “Wheel of Fortune” of the plant world. The wands here in the reading speak of having spent a long time working towards finding a sense of accomplishment and carrying that forward. The Mugwort card is a reminder that all things come in cycles and what is good today can topple tomorrow. Remember that these cycles are natural and when things feel to be turning into a down swing, it’s a temporary situation in the same way that the good times are temporary as well. Cherish the good while you have it, and when the bad times come, hold tight to the knowledge the good times will come around once again.

Air – Eight of Cups and Calendula (Shine) – With the drop coming, there is sure to be some self doubts creeping up and in around the corner.  The danger in these self doubts is allowing those doubts to turn you away from what brings you joy and the areas where you truly shine.  Calendula officinalis teaches us not to turn away from those areas where we shine, but to turn toward them and allow the skills and abilities that make you special shine brightly for others so that they, in turn, are encouraged to let their own beauty and greatness shine as well. This message is an encouragement concerning my upcoming class on Wednesday.

Water – Ace of Swords, King of Cups, Devil’s Club (Reclaim Power) – Oplopanax horridus is a representation of the strength and resiliency of one’s inner spirit and, as well as the need to allow yourself to make the hard choices and loose the sharp edge of your tongue when needed to set balance in your life. The cards here speak of the need to stay centered in your emotions and not allow the intruding thoughts and perspectives of others to rock the boat and cause disruption.  With the drop coming, this is especially important, as it creates a vulnerability that causes chinks in your emotional armor that those sneaky little thoughts and opinions from others can sneak through.

Fire – Eight of Pentacles and Ginseng (Conservation) – By being discretionary on where you invest your focus and energy, you can provide for your needs and responsibilities better than spreading yourself too thin.  Panax genseng’s lesson is that quality results and stamina both come by choosing your battles and playing to your strengths.  This week, be sure to continue that focus on keeping some space free on your plate, which will allow you to better focus on those interests and responsibilities that really matter to you.

Waning – The Brat and Pedestal – It’s time to move away from feeling “precious”. This isn’t to mean move away from not feeling valued, but it has to do with the potential for being overly sensitive and getting up on one’s high horse as a result.  Although these type of feelings have the potential for sprouting up in the week ahead, it will be important to make the conscious choice toward focusing on remaining grounded and well balanced instead, and not allowing those feelings to take control.

Waxing – Gift Revealed and Whispers of Spring –  The energies of spring create a sense of freshness and invigoration that need to be recognized and appreciated this week.  Wallow in the springtime spark that is all around you and allow it to uplift you into a lighter space within your heart and mind.  Don’t forget to have a little fun as well!

Take Away – It appears it’s going to be a somewhat rough and emotionally sensitive week this week.  The cards are reminding me that I have strength to help me through and crappy times don’t last for ever.  Instead of focusing upon the struggle and strife, I am encouraged to do my best to continue looking on the bright side by focusing on the little things that bring me pleasure even during times of darkness.  Self care this week will require that focus on these little things, as well as making sure that I don’t overload myself so that, like thinning of plants to allow air circulation and room to grow, I too have room to expand and flex in those interests I choose to pursue.

DECKS USED: BUNNY TAROT, HERBAL HEALING ORACLE, FAIRY WISDOM ORACLE

Taking Control

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

IMG_3763Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon a long full body scan that took up nearly the entire length of the ten minute meditation, and then a brief mention of the topic of patience at the end.

I think that this guided meditation was initially intended as simply a body scan, and that the patience part of it was more of an addition to the end due to the current state of world affairs and trying to give people a bit of ease with the fact that the entire world is currently in a state of “sit and wait” for the time being.

There was nothing in the talk or the quote included and shared in the image for this post that I objected to, it just felt incongruous with the rest of the meditation.

img_9606Today’s draw is the Five of Flame (Five of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of trials, conflict, and tests in the area of one’s drive, passions, and ambitions.

As I’ve mentioned before, this card is hands-down my absolute favorite imagery on any card in any deck, across the board.  I love this depiction of the Five of Wands, as it speaks to me of so much more than just conflict and strife, but also of strength, determination, and empowerment.

The message that I saw in today’s card is about taking actions to back those things you want to happen.  Intentions are all well and good, but unless you are willing to confront your challenges and take them on? Those intentions aren’t going to take you very far.

I did this today by going back and deleting the draft posts that I had made for the posts I’d missed over the past week here on the blog.  I had a long line of “catching up” to do, and as a part of my determination to give myself more space and take more pressure off myself concerning the blog and my personal readings, I went through and deleted the “catch up posts” that I needed to do, allowing myself to discard the idea of catching up entirely.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: Where am I most in need of support right now?

IMG_3769

Reading Summary: Emotional well-being (Ten of Water) and passion projects (Ace of Fire) where a better sense of direction (Three of Fire) is needed.

Take Away:  Well, considering what we’ve been doing all day, the fact that I’m going to need some pretty hefty emotional support is to be expected. The drop is going to be a bitch when it comes.

The other two are also about what we’ve been doing all day.  Usually once we start getting intimate with our characters in rp, we end up losing direction in our play.  I really would like to continue to explore the characters we are currently playing and I’m really hoping that doesn’t pattern happen this time.  These cards indicate that in order to avoid that result it’s going to take a team effort.

DECK USED:  THE GOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #3

IMG_3771Me:  I am a practical provider and juggler of responsibilities between work and home. I am extremely grounded.

My Goal: A closer bond in my relationships with my guides.

The Obstacle:  Because I am so very grounded and logic oriented, it can be difficult sometimes when trying to delve into unfamiliar areas of the esoteric.  This difficulty shows its face as uncertainty and a lack of confidence in both myself and my process.

Guidance:  I need to take time to figure out how to make amends and reconcile with my spirit guides because I have ignored and neglected them and their role in my life (and existence as a whole) for so long.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I handle upcoming challenges and roadblocks to my goals? (rephrased to not be built off previous day’s cards)

IMG_3773

Reading Summary: Perseverance (Strength), staying present (Six of Cups), and not ignoring what’s right in front of me (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  That last one is a toughie for me, as that selective ignorance is something I really excel at when it comes to things that are bothering me or I am struggling with. The cards here say that as future struggles emerge, I will need to make sure to stand strong and keep my mind in the game.  Don’t allow “what used to be” or how things “used to be done” to distract me from the present issues and best solution.   That best solution, incidentally, might be right in front of my face… so pay attention.

DECK USED:  FANTASTICAL CREATURES TAROT

 

The Overflowing Plate

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was interrupted by the fact that my neighbors across the street apparently have absolutely no clue what social distancing means and had a huge party complete with a balcony full of people and a yard full of kids.

On Thursday, they had a similar gathering, but this one was ridiculously bigger.   I mean, I get it.  Being stuck inside sucks, especially in the middle of spring when the weather is nice and the sun is shining.   But seriously?

Anyway, yeah.  No meditation.  I will try to fit one in before I sleep tonight and hope I don’t fall asleep before I finish the meditation.

King of Flame - King of Wands - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the King of Flame (King of Wands), which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.  This often translates into an authoritative energy filled with confidence to go after what they want and the leadership and charisma to confidence others to join in their endeavors.

What really stands out to me today in the imagery of this card has to do with the expression upon the child’s face combined with the flaming crown the child wears and matching infinity above the head of the lion.   What comes to mind as I saw this card this morning was the Shakespearean phrase “uneasy lies the head that wears the crown”.

Responsibility is hard… and sometimes? It just plain sucks.  That includes responsibilities to myself, if I’m honest.  You’re right.  Even if I’m not doing the monthly challenges regularly, I need to make sure I’m doing this daily draw and finding the positive message in the card.    So, I’m going to cut back, and only add in a challenge or two in these daily posts when I feel inspired to do so for a bit.

I think with all the stress going on, I have been trying too hard to push myself into my passions in order to ignore my stress and anxiety.  That backfired a bit and I fell behind on my posts as a whole.   I’m going to try and turn that around now by cutting back on my “responsibilities” concerning how much I am doing.

Incidentally, I have also chosen to forgo using the Healing Meditation Deck for the rest of the month for my daily pulls.  Although they work great as a bit of added details and guidance in a reading (such as my Self Care Saturday readings), they don’t fit the purpose of these “finding the positive message” card of the day posts.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT