Slow Is Still a Go

There was no meditation today because yet again the guys across the street were making a hell of a racket.  It wasn’t just the machinery, which I could probably have found a way to ignore, but rather… it was the yelling.  I swear to fuck they all talk at full volume.  Maybe they all have earplugs in their ears and have to shout just to be heard by each other.  I wonder if they realize that the entire condo complex across the alley from them can hear every word they say as well.

Cat-Rot Tarot 2020 Edition and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Three of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of taking the first steps in the direction you want to go after the planning of the Two of Wands has been accomplished. This particular “travel card” in the tarot has to do with going after what sparks your interest, and stirs up your innovation and inspiration.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the fact that the cat looks kind of like a slug in this card.  If it weren’t for the ears… it would kind of look like a snail carrying its shell on its back, yeah?   Okay, so at least that’s what it looks like to me.

The significance of seeing a snail in this imagery has to do with speed and the fact that sometimes?  Forward movement is enough. This is reinforced in the Thera-Pets card for today, and the two cards together are a reminder that as long as you are heading in the direction you want to go?  It’s okay to not be moving at full speed ahead.  Taking your time is okay.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT 2020 EDITION AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

LionHart’s Whispering Woods Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: In what area of my life can I use a positive (energy) boost right now?

Lazy Crow Tarot

 Reading Summary:  I need to work on worrying less (Nine of Swords) and being more open (Page of Cups) to the love and camaraderie (Three of Cups) found in my home these days (Four of Wands).

Take Away: Okay so… it’s true that I have a really odd sense of humor. There’s a lot of jokes and humor that I just don’t understand at all, and there’s a lot of things I find amusing that others find not to be amusing at all. This factor doesn’t help in this situation, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be more open to allowing lighthearted warmth in that L and Z have to offer, instead of ignoring it for the stresses and worries going on in my head.

DECK USED:  LAZY CROW TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What would be a better way to deal with my anxieties that will allow my feet to stay on the ground?

Cat-Rot Tarot 2020 EditionReading Summary:  All the tricks and tools in the world (The Magician), clever ideas, and experience under your belt (Queen of Swords) is not going to get you outside and in nature like you need (The Empress).  Just do it (Two of Pentacles) and you will feel better for it (Five of Pentacles Rx)

Side Note: This deck has a somewhat oddly unique way of speaking that takes a bit of getting used to. I noticed this as well with the other edition of the Cat-Rot Tarot.

Take Away: In order to deal with my anxieties in a better and more grounded manner I need to make sure I’m literally getting out in nature and grounding. In doing this, I am able to feel more balanced and less as if I’m fighting a loosing battle all the time.  All of my “clever” excuses and sneaky ways of putting this grounding and connection to nature off are doing me absolutely no good at all.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT 2020 EDITION

Daily Self Kindness

Although I was tired, I took some time after play with Gideon just to sit with him quietly and soak in some one on one time. The drop is toying with me and I needed it.

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_7528bSpring Comes

Snowmelt trickles
from high peaks
down through rocks
and trees
and damp earth
gathering together
into hidden streams
whispering softly
through a world
of green
as rocks fuzz over
and a world
full of secrets
waits

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Ostara 2021 – Spring Equinox

Tomorrow is the Spring Equinox, which is considered by many to be the first day of Spring, and is one of only two moments in the year when the sun is exactly above the Equator and day and night are of equal length. After this day, the brightness of daylight begins to overtake the dark hours in the sky as the days continue to longer and longer, and the nights shorter and shorter.  This transition is the basis within the celebration of the holiday itself, as we celebrate the warming and awakening of the earth as she prepares to share her abundance and generosity with us all.

In my path, the Spring Equinox is also known as Ostara.  Although this holiday is celebrated (as Easter around) the world by those that embrace many traditions that originated in Paganism, most don’t realize the full and rich history that this holiday holds.

Spring Equinox Tarot Reading

Like with new moons and full moons, I usually do a spread to check in with myself and give myself some direction for the next couple of months for each solstice, equinox, and other Sabbats. This spread is an adaptation of my Self Care Saturday spread, so there are sure to be  some similarities in how it is read. The focus of this spread, though, is not about Self Care, but rather about progress and my path. The time period is also longer, reaching through the next handful of weeks until the celebration of the upcoming Beltane at the beginning of May.

Theme of the SeasonSpring Equinox, First Quarter Moon, Equisetum Arvense

Spring Equinox is a time of growth and the thriving energy of a rebirth that began with the passing of Imbolc at the beginning of February. Where during that time seeds began to awaken in the earth as the soil begins to thaw and the sun’s rays begin to warm away the bite of winter, with Ostara we now find ourselves seeing outward signs of spring’s arrival with the appearance of small buds forming on trees and the first flowers of spring sprouting from the earth.  Nourishment from the sun and the rains will further encourage this growth, creating a thriving reawakening as spring moves forward into full swing.

The First Quarter Moon is a time of building energy and action.  If you haven’t already begun, now is the time to begin taking action on the intentions and goals that were planted in the fertile soil of the new moon’s energy. This is true in the metaphysical realm just as it is true in the physical, and farmers often find the time between the new moon and first quarter to be both fertile and wet, making it ideal for planting above ground crops, transplanting, and doing grafts. With the season being what it is, now is the first of two spring half moons where this energy is not just available but abundant this spring.

Equisetum arvense (Common Horsetail) is an herb that is well known for its antioxidant qualities, as well as for renewal and restoration of bones, fingernails, and hair, as it contains silica, which is a compound that helps the body absorb calcium.  It is often used magically in anti-aging spells, as well as reinforcing promises and strengthening boundaries.

When looking at these three cards together, the theme that I see here is a reminder to stay true to the path that I want to continue upon.  This is a reminder that I’ve gotten from the cards a few times recently and in this spread it’s a reminder that in moving forward, I will continue to need to be cautious and conscious of where I direct my energy so that it is directed into the growth I want to happen and not falling back on old habits.

EarthThe Sun – Take care of yourself.  Make your body happy and everything else will fall into place. Nourish your body with good foods, give it the rest it needs, and visit those places you find enjoyable and recuperative often. These things encourage positivity and will help you in staying healthy and happy.  In turn, that energy will then spread outward from there into other parts of your life.

AirQueen of Wands – Not everything is about progress.  Make sure you are paying attention to the little things and not discounting them as unimportant or irrelevant. They are the marrow of the bones of life, so make sure that you are not taking these things for granted. When you put yourself in a position of control over the choices you make and the things you pursue, you give yourself the ability to fit into your life those things that are truly important.  Make sure you fit in lots and lots of those “little things” that mean so much.

WaterKnight of Wands – Go forth in this direction, for this is the way forward. My emotional growth was a good deal of my focus through most of the year last year, and this year that focus needs to continue in that same direction. There is much more to learn and explore.  Don’t allow other passions and interests to pull you off your chosen course (indicated in the rearing up of the buck).

FireFour of Swords – The business, represented as the lions share of your Wands position in your life, is not going anywhere and it’ll thrive just fine in neutral.  Will it explode and expand?  No, but you’ve already grown to a point that is hard to manage without help.  Just how much bigger do you really want to get? Lay down your arms and don’t fucking push for now.  Allow yourself to rest (in this area of your life) while there’s the opportunity to do so.

WaningRest – While it may be time to set down your arms in the area of the business for the time being, don’t let this fool you into thinking there isn’t anything to do.  There’s plenty to do and plenty to explore, just not in that particular area of your life right now. Don’t be seduced into slacking off.  Your recovery from the MDE and your endeavors for growth and spirituality both require you to keep moving forward.

WaxingThe Priestess – “The betterment of ourselves lies in our actions, and in lessons drawn from our experiences” are words that resonated when I read the artist’s notes on this card. Here we see the culmination of what is coming and where focus needs to lie on the path forward. Pay attention to how things feel, both emotionally and through intuition.  Allow this side of you to stretch and flourish while the slave driver of practical matters takes a step back.

Take Away – This reading is about choices and trajectory, and making sure I make the choices that steer me in the direction I want to go, instead of just taking the easy way out, or falling back on bad habits or old ways of doing things. Right now, as I emerge from the last dregs of the MDE, I have the opportunity to course correct my path forward, adjust my trajectory, and direct my energy in directions far more attuned to what I want to do, where I want to go, and who I want to be… and become.

DECKS USED:  WENDY ANDREW ART CARD, PAGAN OTHERWORLDS TAROT, COMPENDIUM OF WITCHES ORACLE, HEALING HERBAL CARDS VOL 1 & 2

Support Structures Are There For A Reason

Today’s meditation was non-existent yet again.  Just too much to do, too many places to go, and when I finally got a moment to stop and take a breath, the nap was way more needed so I went that route instead.

Whimsical Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seeds of a beginning in the areas of one’s intellect, education, aspirations, and communication with others. This often translates into themes to do with new areas of research, new methods of communication or new people to communicate with, new jobs or projects where you are learning something new, etc.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the moon phases that are etched into the blade, which for me represents a specific period of time (29.5 days, to be exact).  As my readings are so often predictive and this one feels the same, what I see here is in reference to the car accident I had on Wednesday and the great deal of communication going on between myself, the insurance company, my medical support team, and my attorney.

Combined with the (oh so very cute as fuck) Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is a personal message indicating that there is going to be about a month of pretty intense communication before anything gets resolved.  Which… is fine.  I’m not particularly fond of spending time dealing with all these people, but I have a good support structure in place and I know that with some patience everything will get dealt with and cared for.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: If my shadow could talk, what would it say to me?

Otto Schmidt Tarot

Reading Summary: My shadow would say “I want to be happy and secure (Ten of Pentacles) and a part of the process and path (Ace of Wands). Give your inner critic (Judgement Rx) a break (Four of Swords) and make me a priority (King of Wands).”

Take Away:  My shadow does not want to be put back in the box and buried in the dark.  It is reaching for the light just as I am in my efforts to rise out of my depression, except in my shadow’s case it was imprisoned for much, much longer. It wants to work on finding balance and happiness and a path forward that is less about nagging at the self and self-abuse, and more about prioritizing self-care… including caring for the shadow within.

DECK USED:  OTTO SCHMIDT TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What area of my life is requiring too much sacrifice?

Whimsical TarotReading Summary: Too much “leaning into” my sense of “my way or the highway” (Five of Rods).  Don’t be impulsive or over confident (Knight of Rods), but instead take things slow and make sure you aren’t being fooled into a false sense of security (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: I’ve been over-compensating in trying to pretend I’m not worried or stressed concerning the business and the changes that I’m adjusting to in that area.  Although It’s good to be alert and aware, and keep track of things, I need to step back and be less invested here… and less stressed and worried as a result.

By allowing myself to sink too deeply into these issues, I’m becoming too rigid and may find it difficult to adapt when I need to or discern between what is real and what is all in my head.

DECK USED:  WHIMSICAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

As I mentioned above, I took a nap.  It’s an orders day, so that’s not something I would normally allow myself, but I was so tired when I got home from the body shop and doctor that I let myself nap for about two hours.

Gideon’s Challenge

Railroad TracksThe Impact

Metal screeches
and squeals
crunching
like monster teeth
gnashing in cold
morning light
ending
in a loud ‘tong’
that reverberates
through bones
and makes the space
between fingers
tingle and ache
as air blows out
harsh and loud
through parted lips

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Anxiety Is Not Premonition, It’s Just the Scales Teetering As They Settle

Again, no meditation today.  My day pretty much got shot to shit between the car accident this morning and dealing with the insurance company all day, getting appointments set up… and unending repetitive trips to the bathroom.  So yeah.  No meditation today.

Paulina Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s spirituality, interests, and passionate pursuits. Contrary to the greatly misunderstood use of the word “passionate”, this suit is probably not about sex unless you are a sex addict.  Rather, it is about those things that light a fire of inspiration within your soul and the Queen of the suit is the energy that fosters that spark in others and encourages it to grow.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is the color scheme, which loudly speaks of autumn to me and autumn speaks to me of experience.  We follow through the spring and summer, gaining experience, weathering sudden storms and blistering heat, the earth gives of itself throughout this period and when fall comes it comes with experience riding its coattails.   The Queen is also experienced, and she uses that experience to help inspire and guide others. 

Combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, these cards are a reminder that not all anxiety is useful. Sometimes anxiety is just anxiety and there’s definitely nothing premonition-associated about it.  For me, right now, this is definitely the case.  As I am emerging from the darkness of depression’s pit and into the light, I’m finding that I’ve been experiencing some intermittent anxiety issues over the past week or two. I’ve come to realize that these bouts of anxiety are not situational but rather, they are a part of my recovery and finding balance once again.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: What card best represents my shadow self at this time?

Waterfall Tarot - Page of PentaclesPage of Pentacles – Finding the way forward sometimes takes a little trial and error and a lot of slow steps and occasional stops along the way.  The importance is in staying focused on where you want to go, and what you need to learn in order to get there.

My shadow self has a lot to learn, but in being acknowledged, it is slowly beginning to “come around” to being a student in life instead of hiding away from it or allowing trauma to keep it suppressed.

There is no wallowing, only a need for encouragement and a guiding light to continue to follow in order to allow that shadow self to rise to the surface and better integrate with reality.  Being acknowledged has done wonders in this area for my shadow self once the realization finally sank in that it wasn’t going to be a temporary project, but something I planned on putting a lot of time and effort into.

DECK USED:  WATERFALL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question
: Does art hurt society in any way?

Paulina TarotReading Summary: Art inspires people, sparking passions for new ideas and directions (Two of Wands), but it can also can make people very defensive (Nine of Wands). At times it can create inspiration for great ideas and new ways of communicating with others (Ace of Swords).

Take Away: The thing about art is that it’s subjective.  To one person a piece may seem inspired and brilliant, relative and breathtaking.  To another person that same piece may seem disturbing, disruptive, insulting, or disgusting. 

It isn’t so much the art that hurts society, but rather individual reactions to how that art is perceived and how people react to it as a result.  So  in a way, it can indeed be hurtful to society if a large enough cross section of society reacts negatively to it…. the real question is whether that’s the art’s fault, or the fault of the individuals reacting to it.

DECK USED:  PAULINA TAROT

Random Prompt from Pagan Sanctum on Discord
Question
: What is your greatest strength and greatest weakness?

Barbara Walker Tarot

Greatest StrengthQueen of Wands atop The Moon – My ability to use my determination and passionate nature to push through obstacles, fears, and doubts that may arise. This doesn’t mean not entertaining the topic of these fears and doubts, but rather turning them around into something useful.

Greatest WeaknessTwo of Pentacles atop Four of Swords Rx – I am a slave driver when it comes to my own personal responsibilities and endeavors. I don’t often allow myself the rest I need, and in fact struggle with figuring out how to rest when the opportunity is presented, which means I often bypass the opportunity rather than using it to recover.

DECK USED:  BARBARA WALKER TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

My self kindness today is in getting some of tomorrow’s work done today.  I have a lot of things to get done tomorrow like going to get an estimate on the damage of my car, insurance calls, and a visit to the doctor. By getting a little of the work done today that needs to be done tomorrow, it will ease my stress a bit tomorrow as a result.