Month: January 2021

Motivations and Sneaky Shit

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches.  

The topic of today’s meditation was about closure.  The example used was about romantic relationships, but honestly?  I think the need for closure goes beyond just romantic relationships and can extend to friendships and even acquaintances sometimes. Something said in the meditation about how some people disappear from your life without warning or a trace (triggering in many that need for closure that they didn’t get) brought up a different topic for me.

I am one of those people… one of those friends that sociable people often consider a “bad friend”. I disappear for months at a time… then reappear back in other people’s lives as if no time has passed at all. Sort of like starting a conversation, walking out of the room for an hour, and then just picking the conversation back up exactly where ti was left when you return to the room again.

This is something that a lot of people don’t understand, I’ve found. But honestly? To me? It doesn’t -feel- as if any time has passed. That gap of time and absence? I don’t see it and I don’t realize it’s there.  It’s like, because I think of these friends, sometimes on a daily basis, they are not absent even though I might not be in contact with them. To me, they are still in my life. Still present. (Other times, I just lose time and have no clue that so much time has passed because my memory is missing a few days, weeks, or months. This particular issue is due to a combination of a head injury when I was younger, and mental health fluctuations.)

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Seven of SwordsToday’s draw is is the Seven of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of trickery, strategy, thievery, betrayal, and all around sneaky shit. Mind you, not all sneaky shit is bad shit.  Being cunning and strategic can be a very good quality… but it is still sneaky shit sometimes.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is not surprising. It’s the hands and what’s within them, the homes in the distance, and the blue shade of the cloak that the figure wears.

What I see in this imagery is a warning that not everything is how it first appears, and you need to be aware and paying attention with that in mind. Some people are guileless and they wear their emotions on their sleeves and intentions on their face. Others… are not like that.  They may appear trustworthy, simple, innocent, easy, innocuous, or friendly. But what lies beneath the surface.

The advice here is that sometimes, we have to look at other’s motivations, even when they appear to be being nice or look completely harmless. Everyone has motivations behind their actions… pay attention to what those motivations might be.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What are you clinging to that can be let go of without repercussion?

Divine Masculine TarotReading Summary: My concern that having a bit of fun (Three of Cups) will distract me from my plans and goals (Two of Wands). It’s okay to take comfort (Four of Wands) in those things that bring me pleasure (imagery in the Queen of Wands).

Take Away: This is the influence of my father and how his voice managed to integrate into my inner narrative and make a home there.  It’s the concept that that anything that’s fun can’t possibly be productive or useful because you’re supposed to buckle down and work, be serious and focus to your goals, and not allow “frivilous things” to distract you.

I know that voice is wrong, and I know it’s harmful. I’ve never really considered that I “cling” to it before, but I think in some ways I do… because it seems like the path to stability and security. But on closer reflection, it may get you to stability and security, but at what cost to your health and happiness?

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DIVINE MASCULINE
 

Daily Self Kindness

I spent all evening and night in play with Gideon today and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it.  I didn’t do even a shred of work other than searching for a bin of charms I’d somehow thought I’d misplaced.  I discovered that instead, what happened is I was exhausted when I had the bin out before (along with a different one) and I accidentally put the charms back into the wrong bin.  I suppose that discovering this could also be self care, since as soon as I found those charms, I felt much better.  I was having a bit of an anxiety issue over the whole thing.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Stillness

Let’s sit a spell
and watch
clouds travel
over calm waters
like little boats
that don’t make ripples
Stay perfectly still
and the silence
will fade
to be replaced
by soft sounds
of foragers seeking
tasty treats
but stop at the
water’s edge
for a drink.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Breaking Down the Tarot

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Learning tarot is something that a lot of people are intrigued about at one point or another in their life. For some, it’s a phase that they dabble in and then move on from. For others it is an opportunity to exploit others. For some it is a lifetime fascination. For still others, it is a part of who they are… or a part of their spirituality.

There are plenty of assumptions about the tarot and plenty of abusers that use the decks for their own purposes. That use the tarot to manipulate people, or to hurt people… or as a game, unintentionally hurting others simply by not understanding or being unwilling to grasp the power that the tarot can possess.

The sad thing is that this type of harmful behavior is going to be the case for no matter what you are talking about. There will be some that respect these different things, and others that won’t. Just as there are those that will appreciate a public garden, and others that will only pause to piss on the flowers.

The thing is that most of those who are truly invested in tarot in some way, whether that is through helping others or helping themselves, acknowledge that tarot is more than just a handful of cards. They aren’t out to hurt people, manipulate people, or use tarot as a game or a weapon. They are seeking to use the tarot to help themselves or others, seek out guidance for themselves or others, to delve into their psyche in order to heal themselves or others.

Tarot is a way to reach into the minds and souls of the self and others, and to find depth… to find answers. Whether a secular or spiritual reader, I think that it’s important to respect and own the responsibility that using something that can do this inherently holds. I find that I sometimes struggle with fresh, brand new beginners because of this. Because they aren’t ready yet to grasp the responsibility behind what they’re seeking to learn. They don’t realize that it’s not a toy or a game, but rather a tool to help that can also harm if we aren’t careful.

For this reason, I try to remind beginners (and even some that have dabbled for quite some time but don’t seem able to grasp the gravity of the tool in their hands) that reading tarot is not just about getting answers. It’s about how you present those answers, either to yourself or to others. It’s about acknowledging that anything that you say can have a huge impact on another person and their life, etc. And therefore, when reading the cards, it’s important to present things in a way they understand and that is empathetic to another person and their journey.

Without empathy, understanding, and a sense of empowerment in the message… the cards can easily become something that can do a great deal of harm instead of good. When people speak of “respecting the tarot” it is this influence… this responsibility… that they are referring to. A responsibility that I feel is absolutely essential, especially in reading for others… but also in reading for yourself.

Plan It Out and Get Going

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Today’s meditation was skipped today.  I was feeling stressed about the orders that I needed to get done and sort of lost the battle with any of my self care stuff today, not just the meditation but the probiotic smoothie, the vitamins, the tea with peptides, yoga physio crap…. the whole thing.  I’m definitely going to pay for it too.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - King of SwordsToday’s draw is the King of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of intellect, communication, ambitions, and instinct.  The King in this suit is often associated with someone that is highly intelligent that has strategical acumen and leadership qualities rooted in their ability to lead through their ideas and skills in communication.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the fact that the king’s throne is on wheels. He’s not sitting still and letting the world come to him, but sits upon a mobile throne, prepared to go where he is needed with the strength of his convictions behind him and intelligence to lead the way.  (Okay, so the dude’s muscles also stood out but… of course they did. Just sayin’.  I’m not blind.  That particular notation had nothing to do with the reading tho.)

Right.  So… the message today is about taking control by having a plan… a stress on the “plan” part of that.  This card is saying if I want to take control of my orders and get done what needs done, there’s more to the process than just getting up and moving your ass… you need a plan and you need to focus on it and stick to it and make it happen.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care during this full moon?

Ink Witch TarotReading Summary:  Don’t push too hard right now (Page of Wands).  It’s okay to have some alone time if you need it, as long is it’s done in a healthy way (The Hermit) and you aren’t allowing the wolf in through the door in the process (Nine of Wands).

Take Away: Although I feel like I’ve managed to stop my slide down the walls of that dark pit, it would be a mistake during the full moon to use the energy available from the full moon to push myself to do more and dive into things.

Instead, I need to focus on taking care of myself and participating in healthy things that can fight back against the darkness.  It is very easy at this time to tip over the line from healthy to unhealthy in my actions and thoughts.  The Hermit card here is a reminder of just how close that line is and how easy it is to slip over it without realizing it, as alone time is something I crave often and yet it is not always healthy for me, while at other times it is immensely benificial.

DECK USED:  INK WITCH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I treat myself with more compassion?

Earth Bones Tarot

Reading Summary:  Instead of projecting your energy and ambitions outward (King of Crystals) and overfilling your plate with responsibilities that then turn into heavy burdens (Ten of Wicks), right now you need to focus upon fostering and sustaining your inner strength (Strength).

Take Away:  Recovery from an MDE takes time and piling on responsibilities and additional crap to get done won’t help but instead will only slow down that recovery.  A better path that will allow the healing to happen instead of ignoring those needs, is to focus on doing the things that build your inner strength and give you a bit more stability.

DECK USED:  EARTH BONES TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Damn.   This is the first time since I started this self kindness section that I really can’t think of anything that I’ve done for myself today as a self kindness.  Nor can I think of anything at this point and time just before bed that I can do for myself right now as a self kindness.

Gideon’s Challenge

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Swaying WeedsWinter Breeze

Whispers swirl
though
windswept fields
as each dried
weed and reed
brush against
each other
to spill
their secrets
into the air
for seeking ears
and open minds

if we
will only listen

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

Full Moon in Leo – January 2021

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Leo Full Moon Spread - Tarot Noir

Today is the full moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about moving beyond the shadows, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

1. What medicine does the Leo Full Moon offer?

Eight of Cups  – The Leo full moon offers you the strength and opportunity to leave behind you the things that are no longer working for you.  You’ve been drug down and disappointed, struggling with your emotions, but this full moon is offering you the energy needed to begin the climb back out of that dark place and towards the light.

2. How can I harness the potent medicine of Leo for activating what my heart is yearning to manifest?

Ten of Wands – Don’t overwhelm yourself.  It’s okay to take things a little at a time instead of trying to pile it all on and deal with it all at once.  Responsibilities can sometimes feel like they are just too much of a burden, but they can be manageable if broken down into smaller bite sized pieces.   Yes, this means it will take more time, but it will help keep you from feeling the overwhelm that can drag you down and hold you back from that climb into the light.

3. How can I embrace Leo’s shadow medicine?

Six of Wands – Listen to those that cheer you on.  It’s okay to accept praise.  It’s okay to feel good when people say that you’ve done well or say that they admire you.  It won’t make you a lesser person to allow these good feelings when you are given compliments or praise.

4. What shifts will emerge after the Full Moon?

Ten of Coins – A return to a sense of security and good fortune is on the horizon as the moon’s energy begins to wane.  The healthier you begin to feel, the more that sense of well-being in your situation will improve.  It is all about your perception… and your gratitude, which is much easier to get in touch with as you begin to feel better.

5. Message from the Ancestors.

Seven of Wands  – Stand up for what you believe in and follow that moral compass so intrinsically embedded in how you think and feel.  As the energy of the full moon peaks and its waning begins to lead the way out of the darkness you’ve slid into, make sure that you keep your focus centered on those things that are worth fighting for and what you need to do to protect them and allow them to flourish.

DECK USED: TAROT NOIR