Rolling Stones Standing Still

IMG_5153Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a guided meditation that focused upon vulnerability and creativity.  There is vulnerability in creativity… as well as in all those other things mentioned in the Brene Brown quote on the right.   I’m not sure if I would consider vulnerability the birth place of these things…. but I think that it takes a certain level of vulnerability to allow them in and allow them to have influence over you.

All of those emotions leave you vulnerable to being hurt, and creativity does as well.  It takes bravery to create, to put what you have made out there in the world and allow people to see it.  Whether we want them to judge these creations or not?  They will.  And those judgements can hurt when they are not positive.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - The World - PachamamaToday’s draw is The World card, which is traditionally a representation of the fulfillment and achievement that can be obtained by reaching the end of a journey, transitioning through growth into a new journey, as well as the cycles of life and reincarnation.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the monarch butterfly.  A butterfly’s life is full of cycles.  The cycle from caterpillar to butterfly, the cycle of migration they go through each year, etc.   They are in constant flux of one sort or another, and never fully still or stagnant in life.  At the same time, the stones in the floral mandala also really catch my eye.  These stones are positioned to represent the four directions and thus, the four elements.

The combination of these two aspects are a message of encouragement concerning finding balance and direction. At the moment I am feeling a bit stagnant and struggling with direction, and I feel like the stones in the imagery and how they stand out to me today is an encouragement that taking this time off to just relax and de-stress is a good move.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: 
When did I first start to lose my sense of worth?

New Palladini Tarot

Reading Summary: There were many times in my youth when uncertainty was an issue for me (The Moon) and yet I was left to deal with it on my own as everyone abandoned me during my times of need (Eight of Cups). I did the best that I could with what I had at the time to work with (Page of Rods), but I was judged harshly for the results regardless (The Last Judgement).

Take Away:  This type of behavior pattern from others during my developmental years created a sense of always needing to do better and the mentality that only perfection was acceptable from me. This is something I’ve carried into adulthood, and I’ve only started to recognize as a problem and work on over the last few years.

DECK USED:  NEW PALLADINI TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:
  How can I strengthen my relationship with my loved ones?

Tarotbot TarotReading Summary: Be generous (Six of Coins) in sharing your passions with others (King of Wands) and spread your enthusiasm and inspiration around and see what comes back to you in turn (Page of Wands).

Take Away:  By involving them more in those things that I enjoy and find inspiration in.  Most of my creative endeavors and passionate interests are solo activities, but many have the potential to be more by sharing these activities with others.  By doing this, I open myself up to let them in closer, and become closer to them in turn, which then strengthens those relationships.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:
  embrace // erase // face

The Fifth Tarot

EmperorEmbrace your power and accept the authority that you have over others, whether you really want it or not. Embrace your role in this family and among others, and your role as a leader. You are the stable protector and provider, the foundation, and that’s okay.

Judgement and Ten of SwordsErase self-doubt. The struggles that you have gone through do not need to be rehashed again and again in your mind, and evaluated over and over looking for flaws and mistakes. You’ve done the best you could so let these worries go and focus on moving forward.

Three of Lotus – Not even stone can withstand the flow of water, forever unchanged by its currents. Face the fact that you cannot stand stagnant and move forward at the same time. You have to be able to except that things are going to change in all aspects of your life as well as within you as you move along this path of growth you are on.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT

Gideon’s Challenge

IMG_4588Chaos

Yesterday
so resolute
and then
the morning comes
second guesses
warring thoughts
a cacophony
within the mind
as guilt
and obligation
and responsibility
try to beat me
into submission.
And yet,
I persist.

I made the decision yesterday to take a week off from the business and  give myself some breathing room.  This isn’t a full vacation, of course, as I’ll still be working at the farm and the salon, but yet… it is a huge thing all the same. I’ve never taken time off voluntarily just for myself before.  Not ever.

So it’s not surprising that guilt and doubts would play havoc with my insides today concerning the decision.  Thing is though?  I need it.  I need some time.  I’m not letting the guilt and doubts turn me away from this.  I need the time… and I’m taking it.

Photo © ZenStatePhotography

#31DaysofWitchcraft Prompt 12 & 13 (non)VR to Heather Carter

Heather Carter on YouTube put together a series of prompts titled #31DaysofWitchcraft that she’s been working her way through since the beginning of May. I really like this idea, but I can’t handle the responsibility of any more daily posts, so I thought that for the next few weeks, I would do one (or a few at a time) for the end of week “My Pagan Perspective” posts and work through them a bit at a time.

spellbook

12. Do you have a separate witchy name? Why, or why not?

My “witchy name” is the same as my online name.  It’s Twist the Leaf.

This name comes from a line in a ritual that my sister and I wrote together as children.

To be fair, when I first came online, I used just “Twist” and then “Twist the Leaf” for circles and pagan events and activities.  But over the years, the two have melded and I now use Twist the Leaf in most places, and “Twist” as the shortened version here and there.

As for why.  My mother used to take my sister and I to a lot of Wiccan functions, and having a “witchy name” was all the rage in those circles.  I chose my “witchy name” initially in order to finally get them to stop pestering me about choosing one, but over time it’s become… more than that.

I no longer go to those events and haven’t for… at least fifteen years or more. Other than my sister (and our mentor recently as she’s been living with us for a bit now), my practice is primarily solitary.  But the name has stuck, and these days it seems that I’m actually more comfortable being called Twist than I am called by my birth name.

13. Do you write your own spells, use pre-written one or do a mix of both?

I write my own spellwork, or at times work on it together with my sister.

This falls back on the way we were raised. To be honest?  I don’t spend a lot of time reading pagan/wiccan/witchcraft books.  This isn’t how I learned my craft.  Because of this? Although I knew that published books had spells in them, I didn’t realize these were actually spells people used.  Like, letter for letter and word for word, used like a recipe to bake pastry.  This realization that people actually do that was baffling to me.

My sister and I were taught to write our own rituals and our own spellwork.  We were taught that it is a part of the process of casting a spell to do the work behind the spell, which includes doing the research to know what elements to include in the spellwork, and constructing the spell and wordwork ourselves.   I guess that because of this, I assumed that the spellwork in published books was there as a “jumping off point”?  You know, providing ideas and examples… but not there to be used as-is.